Keeping maiden name after marriage.

[CoffeeLover87]

Hey everyone! So my partner and I have been together for 5 years now and we've finally decided to tie the knot. Super excited! But I'm not really keen on changing my surname after we get married. I've always had my name and I quite like it.
Just wondering what others have done - did you take your husband's name or keep your own? Any regrets either way? For those who kept their maiden name, has it caused any issues?

We went for the ‘wild card’ option and picked a new surname. So double the paperwork faff, but we got to choose something we both liked.
I loved my surname so kept it as a middle name for myself. DC has the new surname.

This has been a thing for literally decades OP. The sky hasn't fallen in yet.

I know a family who did this. They have a dd and a ds, with different surnames because of this system, which I find odd for "full" siblings.

Keep your name @CoffeeLover87, it's very common to do so these days.

They have done that forever. It's to disrupt child trafficking. It's really no problem at all if you have a photo of the birth certificate on your phone.

In fact it's not likely to happen in the Middle East because women don't change their names on marriage!

Kept mine and double barrell for our kids. For me it was a case of what was I teaching my children - if you’re a women you have one man’s name then another man’s name? Didn’t feel like a good lesson to me but each to their own.

Kept my name, both children have my husbands surname. No issues at all

Exactly the same here. Love that I still have my name, and no administrative faff. My husband was perhaps a little sad as all his friend’s wives changed their names to their husband’s names but he was aghast at changing his name (yes mate! That’s exactly how I feel!). He couldn’t be bothered either way now and would tell me to do whatever I prefer. He’s also more amenable to the fact that the kids could have had my surname (and his as a middle name), but I don’t mind that and obviously it’s no issue we don’t have a “family” name - we’re obviously a family!

I got married in may and haven't changed mine. I don't want to deal with the admin and do feel a bit why should I about the whole thing. Kids have my husbands name. My dad had 3 sisters who all took married names and I have no brothers or sisters so I'm the last one of our family surname so I want to keep it. My husbands surname is quite long so double barreling would create a name that would be too long for me

I kept mine - no issues- other females in the family and many friends have done the same. DT’s have double barrelled

These threads always go the same way. Virtually all keep their name.
Of the people I know in real life aged 20s to retirement most have changed their name.
It's personal choice.

We both took eachothers and used a hyphen. Kids have hyphened name.

I told DH we can both keep our own names, we can double-barrel or he can take mine. The kids would be having my surname or a double barrell of us both. He had no problem with this and his family (pretty conservative/'traditional') accepted it (but we married after 13 years when I was preggo and they were used to my feminist ways/wouldn't dare tell me otherwise).

I find the arguments against hyphenation pathetic and a ruse to prevent women maintaining their identity or God forbid, asking a man to change his name a little too. All this bullshit about 'dont want to sound posh' 'its clunky' etc.

There are 250 people in the UK with my birth surname. Out of my family there have only been my two children and one other born in 35 years. I wasnt about to let it go, even though it's a really 'ugly' surname.

Ditto this

Been married twice and changed to DH's name both times; second time because I didn't want to be married to DH2 while still being called Mrs DH1.

My view is that a name doesn't define you, it just identifies you, so it is merely an administrative convenience - something to write on documents and to ensure you get your mail. Call yourself whatever you want, but think through what any future DC may be called.

If you double barrel their names, what happens in the future when they have DC? Do your son Tommy Smith-Brown and his future partner Jane Jones-Green call their kids Billy and Annie Smith-Brown-Jones-Green?

Your kids can have double barreled names, or they can have your name, or they could have one as a middle name and one as a surname (I knew a brother and sister who were called Ben Smith Jones and Emma Jones Smith respectively), or they could have a version of one of your surnames as a first name (e.g. your surname is Jones, your son is called Jonah or Jonas).

I certainly wouldn't default to the assumption that they'll have their dad's surname and not yours though. You're the one doing all the hard work!

Agree! So many posters claiming their DH’s surname was nicer than theirs.

My DH's surname IS much nicer than mine but I still didn't change mine.

I expect they would follow a similar pattern to the Spanish who give children one surname from each parent and have done so for many generations without issue.

It can happen whether you have the same name as your child or not. A friend was taken to a room for questioning when travelling alone with her child and they had the same surname.

I kept my name and have travelled with my dc who have DH’s surname. The DC have been asked to confirm who I am but that’s it. Thank god my then 4 year old DS confirmed “that’s mummy”.

I wish I'd gone double barrelled. I don't like my married name. And it's alliterates with my first name. But when i married I couldn't wait to be Mrs ....

Kept my name. My mum kept hers and it caused zero issues - it was always clear to me that I would do the same.

DC have DH’s surname but a family name from my side as a middle name.

Most do change their name, which is exactly why a young woman thinking about keeping hers instead might want to discuss it

I've been married just short of 40 years and changed because my obviously Irish surname was not looked upon favourably during the years of the 'Troubles'. I experienced a lot of what would now be considered racism at school and as young adult (including my In Laws). However with the benefit of hindsight I would never change my name now. I feel I gave up some of my identity when I did: I was no longer an A (insert my maiden name) and will never be a full B (insert DH surname). Also attitudes have change. Irishness is embraced by those too young to remember the 'Troubles' and I am now proud of my heritage.
So my advice Keep Your Own Name.

I kept my name. I can't get my head around women taking a man's name upon marriage. Seems so archaic to me.

No issues.

I've been married for 28 years. I kept my own name and it's caused zero issues.

Give the DC your surname, we default to it being your husbands name they get?