Am I old or has shite behaviour become normal behaviour?

[WishItWasDifferent25]

Ok. Fully prepared to be told I am unreasonable but I’m nearly choking from clutching my pearls here….

1. on a plane last week. Child with iPad on full volume. No attempt to reduce volume and no headphones in sight. No one except me seemed to be bothered so I quietly seethed.

2. in John Lewis today. Cafe. Quiet and calm except for parents entertaining toddler by playing baby shark over and over. I felt I had to leave. No one else seemed to even flinch.

3. the gym yesterday. Watching greys anatomy with my headphones on. Still had subtitles because the noise from spin was a LOT. Guy gets on the one next to me and sticks a programme on full volume. I went for pointed look but not up for confrontation tbh. He moved around the gym with his super loud programme following him.

IS THIS NORMAL. Or am I turning into cranky old bint. Am only 46. Didn’t see it coming.

I have ADHD myself and don't think that's an excuse for people being thoughtless in public.

YANBU. I rarely use public transport anymore due to noisy, sometimes intoxicated people and try to visit places I know tend to be a bit quieter and calmer. I've noticed when I visit family in other parts of Europe, people seem generally more considerate and respectful of others and the expectation is that you behave yourself and encourage your children to do the same.

I was on the tube recently and someone was playing a TV show on his phone out loud. It was annoying but I had my own headphones with me so, not being one for confrontation, I just put them in and carried on reading my own book and listening to some music.

A young woman got on, must have been mid-20s, sat down next to this guy, looked at him and said "have you got any headphones?" he said yes, so she said "could you use them then please? that's really irritating"

At which point he shamefacedly mumbled an apology and put his headphones on!

Based on his appearance he was the last person I'd have spoke up to, but she totally disarmed him by being polite and blunt at the same time. You could tell he wasn't used to someone standing up to him!

YANBU OP - entitled behaviour is definitely becoming more common and people are being very defensive when challenged too.

Just this morning I've had an argument with a member of staff that is perpetually late. Of course, it's not his fault - he has to get public transport doesn't he?! We have a starting time of anywhere between 8.30 and 9.30, yet he strolls in at 9.40, then accuses us of picking on him when we pull him up on it!

You'd have some sympathy if the public transport was terrible, but these are the published train times he could use to get here between 9am and 9.30am: 0845, 0851, 0857, 0859, 0905, 0911, 0915.

Drives me insane!

Well yes, but thankfully Steve jobs has made it so I can keep the noise levels low and my child still without having to physically hold on to my dd and anxiously shush her

You are not wrong.

Baby shark ….. 😱

Well at least since mobile phones became the norm!

Indeed. And as I said above, I remember people having those crappy little mini speakers you can plug into a walkman or discman and playing them at the back of the bus.

I’m actually not sure if some parents of small children realise that i pads etc have only existed in the public realm for about 15 years… what do they think people did in cafes/ public transport/ waiting rooms in 2006? We did actually manage without them pretty well in the whole.

Omg they were horrific!

YANBU.

Baby Shark on repeat for an entire flight. Parents completely ignored the stewards and the child was sat between them. They got murderous stares when it came to disembarking.

Personally I despise people who talk through concerts, especially when they’ve pushed towards the front and then hold their phone up to video it whilst continuing to talk to their mate. Special place in hell for them.

The Walkman was a different matter. For a start, not every teenager owned one and you'd have to be pretty darn close to someone to hear it. Even if they did own one, they weren't wired into it all the fucking time. There were better things to do and the art of conversation, fun, laughter and drinking! still existed. People today have become "one" with their devices.

No respect from anyone.
Ds2 took the mega bus this weekend to visit friends and he said one person was on his phone for the whole 3.5 hour journey ! He said it was distracting and he wasn't whispering either and ds 2 had his head phones on.
I dread using public transport these days.

YANBU it's rude and entitled behaviour. I can't stand it either.

Exactly this

This is an oddly specific revenge, but I like your style. People listening to music or TV without headphones in hospital wards is unforgiveable.

I use my phone to play music (through headphones) in the gym or listen to an audiobook or podcast. Instead of listen to the gym music or some class going on.

I don't remember the mid 80s full stop! I do remember people using their ghetto blasters in the park in the 90s. But they'd usually sit away from other groups. And no one did it on buses/trains here.

I sympathise with parents trying to prevent even more noise by placating small children in public places. Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

The volume is an issue though and they should turn it down. Maybe the parents' hearing has been so damaged by wearing headphones and airpods that they don't realise how loud and grating it is.to everyone else.

I just tried to avoid going anywhere that would have quantities of young kids once mine were no longer young. Not always avoidable but in planes and trains I take noise cancelling headphones anyway so I can relax without the train /plane engine noises. Since I can't hold a conversation with anyone anyway with all the engine nackground noise

People have always been noisy in pockets, I think the problem is that our population has expanded so much there are not many places to get peace and quiet anymore..

I must admit that I do feel there is a problem of parents using screens to keep their children quiet - whilst also destroying the quiet of others. Just parent.

I say this as a mother of 2 autistic now adults and had to work really hard to keep my DC entertained and occupied in social settings. If they couldn't cope with inevitable waits in restaurants etc we went outside and amused ourselves until food arrived. I did this so they could learn to engage in appropriate ways in social situations.

Keeping NT DC entertained is a doddle in comparison.

I felt sad that my 3 year old nephew was strapped into a high chair watching Thomas on a lap top whilst his parents ignored him. He knew lots about Thomas but nothing about his own life.

PocketSand, I agree with you. Always shocks me in MN when people say “oh your child shouldn’t be talking to other children, adults. Bothering them in social situations etc…”

As children, we loved going to Butlins, and places like that, ave making lots of new friends. Now I imagine it’s a load of folks, children & adults sitting around on their individual screens.

How on earth did parents get children to behave in public before iPads were invented!

Things have changed

Haha. I said that to my brother recently. We have big age gaps between our DC and when I suggested no phones at the restaraunt table he told me I "didn't know what it was like having small dc".
Silly me. I forgot that I birthed fully grown adults!

Things have changed

Things like what?

Books, kids magazines, puzzles, small toys, colouring, chatting, interacting