Am I old or has shite behaviour become normal behaviour?

[WishItWasDifferent25]

Ok. Fully prepared to be told I am unreasonable but I’m nearly choking from clutching my pearls here….

1. on a plane last week. Child with iPad on full volume. No attempt to reduce volume and no headphones in sight. No one except me seemed to be bothered so I quietly seethed.

2. in John Lewis today. Cafe. Quiet and calm except for parents entertaining toddler by playing baby shark over and over. I felt I had to leave. No one else seemed to even flinch.

3. the gym yesterday. Watching greys anatomy with my headphones on. Still had subtitles because the noise from spin was a LOT. Guy gets on the one next to me and sticks a programme on full volume. I went for pointed look but not up for confrontation tbh. He moved around the gym with his super loud programme following him.

IS THIS NORMAL. Or am I turning into cranky old bint. Am only 46. Didn’t see it coming.

Nobody is complaining about "normal" noise; people talking, baby crying etc. This is about occupying public space with loud noise of your choice; music/film etc. Try commuting for an hour while listening to baby shark on high volume going on repeat...

My son splashed out a bit extra on a first class train seat recently because he’s so sick of the noise on trains and he’s only nineteen!

Obviously no ones expecting the world to be like a library or monastry but I think it is inconsiderate to play music/watch films/facetime people loudly in public places. Especially if you could wear headphones but have chosen not to.

I guess there has become a grey area for what is acceptable in public. Years ago lots of people wouldn't eat in public and now that's deemed ok. People put make up on, shave, clip their nails, floss their teeth (🤢) on the train and watching/listening to things without thinking about the volume is another

And I disagree it's always been like it. I think its definitely worse with phones abd tablets because 99% of people have them. There were limited number of people prepared to buy the 8 x enormous batteries to fuel their ghetto blasters in public and not everyone had Walkmans. I don't remember ever noticing them at the cinema

I do that too! I hate how car drivers think they’re superior to pedestrians.

I totally agree OP! I was on a 3 hour bus journey last week & a guy a couple of rows up literally had back to back face time calls with what seemed like everyone in his contacts. It was unbelievable! Full volume. No attempt to moderate the volume of his voice. He was speaking a foreign language.

The rare occasion he was between calls he played some game with the volume still up loud

The guy sitting next to him asked him politely to please turn it down but he just ignored him. It was infuriating as on a bus you're really trapped.

I was on a train in Germany during the summer & there was a man playing something on his phone with the volume up & the guard walked by & told him to turn it down & he did!

Agree with PP that there is sensory overload. Noise, advertising, screens… It’s like living in Times Square!

The thing I hate the most is when there’s loud, running tannoy advertising in shops. I’m already here, shut up!

Why not tell them to turn it down?

I was at a concert recently and the people behind me talked through the first 5 songs so I turned round and said “excuse me, can you please not talk whilst they are playing”, and they stopped.

YABU to seethe. Just tell them to turn it down.

Are you actually trying to compare people listening to music through headphones (even if crappy ones) to people playing full movies and tv programmes lout loud with no headphones at all?
Not remotely comparable in terms of noise or respect for others which is what this thread is about.

Absolutely ! I live in a small market town and the attitude of some drivers to pedestrians is disgraceful. I don’t try to cross the road anywhere other than a zebra crossing or pelican lights but have lost count of the number of drivers who just don’t stop when I am clearly on the crossing , often just smiling an inane apology or shrugging as they sail past. Oh well I am 60 and invisible of course but it has happened when I have been with my grandchildren too. I do remonstrate especially if they have squealed to a halt inches away and have had the occasional sincere apology but I I have also had abuse.
Yes people are getting more and more entitled and selfish.

Certainly playing stuff out loud is a specific but of shite behaviour that seems to have spiked post Covid. We had the first round of playing music out loud on buses etc when music on your phone was a novelty but it seemed to have died out as I think people realised it sounded crap and tinny and wasn't enjoyable to listen to.

I think in recent years with video and sound quality improving on devices people have gone back to it. 😖Rather than telling people to turn off, both DH I tend to say 'Can you use headphones please?' and it's interesting that at least half the time they get a set out and start using them. I think sometimes people just can't be arsed and are hoping no one will noticed. One woman huffed at DH on the tube the other week 'Well I was only going to listen to one thing' but the fact is no one knew that. I do give people a few minutes usually as sometimes if it's tiktok or insta or something, it is just one thing and then they stop it, but it's still irritating.

Sitting at the doctors last week the lady sitting next to me (60s) was watching videos on full volume on her phone. It is so so so annoying!!

Any time I've forgotten my headphones I've though no music for me where ever I am. Not inflict my choice on everyone else!

Yes, family sat in a cafe. Email child with iPad on full volume. No ear phones, no attempts to quieten it. It was really distracting and annoying!!

People are twats.

You need to ask them to turn it off /down!!!

I doubt you were the only one annoyed but if nobody complains nothing will change.

This might be stereotyping but in the 1980s I'm sure it was mainly teens and 20-somethings that generally had "portable" music. Now anyone from the age of 2 upwards generally has some sort of device!

I was a kid in the 80s/90s and when we went to the beach my dads stipulations were that we had to be a mile away from any toilets/icecreams/amusements sufficiently far away from anyone with a stero or a dog. (Way more people had dogs than stereos!)

Well aside from the ageist and misogynistic "cranky old bint", you are not wrong.

Are you my long lost twin 😂 yes to always be the more crazy bitch on the bus / train / tube. I find if I look someone in the eye and tap the seat saying You can sit here, usually nobody does 😂. I wear earphones when near anyone else as I can't bear it

Loud noise really does seem to be a thing now. I have to mute the tv when ads come on as the vast majority involve someone screaming at the top of their lungs

Why hasn’t she got headphones on?

I don't know why some people are under the impression it has become socially acceptable to play their (shyte) music and videos out loud. It really hasn't and I find random noise like that very stressful. Even at a low volume (as someone on this thread seems to think is fine) it's really bloody irritating.

We took our first long haul flight with our daughter at three. We taught her in advance 'no headphones, no tv'. It's really not difficult.

And it's not as if headphones are not cheaply available. Or subtitles.

DH and I were on the train recently. He dropped something on the floor, bent to pick it up and accidentally let forth a loud fart. Fortunately everyone within hearing distance had headphones on so no one heard. That’s a positive I suppose.

I'm 45 and totally understand.
Only what's an old bint? Don't know this one.
😁

I work in a hospital and one thing I have have really noticed recently is the complete loss of lift etiquette!! It used to be the case that when the lift doors opened people would wait for those getting off the lift to get out and then get in. More and more now I find when the lift doors open there are two or three people store immediately in the opening blocking my path off the lift and they then seem annoyed that they have to move so I can get off!!! Sometimes they try and get on even though they can clearly see I need to get off! For some reason this absolutely infuriates me and I genuinely don't understand why they can't just wait!

No they haven't.

They definitely have from my perspective. Someone upthread posted the same.