Am I old or has shite behaviour become normal behaviour?

[WishItWasDifferent25]

Ok. Fully prepared to be told I am unreasonable but I’m nearly choking from clutching my pearls here….

1. on a plane last week. Child with iPad on full volume. No attempt to reduce volume and no headphones in sight. No one except me seemed to be bothered so I quietly seethed.

2. in John Lewis today. Cafe. Quiet and calm except for parents entertaining toddler by playing baby shark over and over. I felt I had to leave. No one else seemed to even flinch.

3. the gym yesterday. Watching greys anatomy with my headphones on. Still had subtitles because the noise from spin was a LOT. Guy gets on the one next to me and sticks a programme on full volume. I went for pointed look but not up for confrontation tbh. He moved around the gym with his super loud programme following him.

IS THIS NORMAL. Or am I turning into cranky old bint. Am only 46. Didn’t see it coming.

😂 😂

The gym one I had as well!! Our gym is a little community one so there's just a radio on the side. Turned it down a bit while I was using the machine right next to it (it's 50% ads anyway, not much music) because it was on loud. Immediately a guy comes storming out of a different room altogether, turns it up to max. I go into the room he's in and he's just lying on the equipment with his eyes closed listening to the music?! The rest of the time I'm there he picks up a small 2lb weight, walks into another room, puts it down, lies on the equipment for a nap again, wanders around for a bit, repeat. While we're all being deafened with ads. Just bizarre.

They did at least have headphones. Couldn't play the music otherwise like on a phone today

It’s because people are scared to say anything. And in public transport ( buses anyway) the drivers are told NOT to confront noisy/ disruptive passengers. Even ten years ago, if a load of teens were shouting/ making noise on the top deck the driver would stop the bus, stomp upstairs and tell them the bus is going nowhere until they pack in in, or they can get off.
Now the driver just ignores, and everyone else thinks well if you can’t beat them join them.
I still ask some people to turn it down. Generally teens snigger and whisper to each other, but they do comply. I refuse to be scared to say anything.

Yanbu op. A man on the train last week was listening to his phone on full blast. Tbh, although nobody said anything, a number of passengers nearby looked unimpressed. So I think there are lots of people who feel the way you/ we do.

It happens a lot now but as it seems to be normalised there’s not much you can do apart from ask them not to do this.

Yanbu. There seems to have been a cultural shift in terms of loud noise in public spaces. More people think its fine to have loud conversations on loud speaker or play music, videos out loud on public transport without earphones.

It's now expected that you put in earphones or ear phones to block out noise rather than use ear phones when you want to play something.

Fair enough. We (as in my friends and I) would only have played music out loud in the park, and sat away from other groups. I don't remember other groups being different to us.
Yes we could sometimes hear music through people's headphones, but it was nowhere near as annoying as music without headphones.

I mean I'd much rather hear baby shark then hear crackheads kicking off which is the source of most noise in public spaces.
But seriously hearing other people make noise is part of life, funny how the younguns these days are called "snowflakes" by people who can't handle a bit of noise.

So you're part of the problem.

Why doesn’t your DD use headphones when she’s in a public space?

This is brilliant! I want to start doing this!

I fantasise about having a special power to break people’s phones and tablets with just a thought. Playing music/watching TV out loud drives me INSANE

I became surprisingly internally furious in the waiting room of my GP surgery last week for something similar. A fully grown woman was watching something on her phone with the volume up loud. She then proceeded to scroll through other videos and watch each one on the same - loud - volume.

Our whole society is built on the worship of self. How many times on MN have you seen people say that someone's not 'serving their needs'? Such a selfish culture.

2 adults watching a film on a phone on the plane. Sat in the front row and none of the crew said a word.
The crew should be nipping it in the bud.
It's just so rude.

Guess it might depend where you were in the country. This was London and very common.

Tbh, I’m not sure why there is such an argument as to someone experiencing something different to you. Your experience isn’t the only one. I haven’t experienced anything like what OP and some others have – grown adults listening to TV on morning trains or in dentist waiting rooms etc, only teenagers with music on streets and public transport as I always have. But I’m hardly going to tell them they are wrong (and I haven’t) because that’s their experience.

I stand by what I said. They haven't had the wherewithall to make the kind of intrusive noise that they have now until relatively recently. I'm sure I and my friends could be irritatingly noisy at times, on buses and elsewhere, when we were all together but there's something different about the sort of noise that comes out of devices, particularly when people have to have them on loud to hear them over their shrieking and shriek louder to hear each other over them.

That’s fine. We can think different things, you know?

Kids used to take mini speakers on the bus in the 90s to play music from their Discmans. I remember it very well and commuted around London for 20yrs.

I was on the train recently and the man in the seat behind me was having an annoyingly loud conversation on the phone. When he'd finished his phonecall he started clipping his nails which was even more horrible and annoying. When the train reached its terminus I surprised myself by telling him that he should take his nail clippings with him as it was disgusting for the next person who sat there! He said he had brushed them all onto the floor as if that made it all Ok🙄

You don't remember in the mid 80's there would be groups of teens walking around with loud ghetto blasters on their shoulders, so they had their own loud theme music as they walked down the road?

“Old” people have been saying the worlds gone to the dogs since the Dawn of time so maybe it is that 😂

Low as possible is inaudible to the listener…just turn the sound off completely in a public space.

It is long overdue that on buses, trains and planes, a very clear notice be issued:

The use of mobile phones, ipads, laptops and screens is prohibited unless using headphones or earphones.

Yes I know it’s possible to use these devices simply to read, but an awful lot of people who travel, seem to use them for music videos, films, games, full on phone conversations, or to keep the ‘little ones’ entertained.

Long plane and train journeys are agony listening to the conversations, films, puzzles and kids toys, belonging to total strangers.
In the era of Instagram, “I’m a celebrity”; “Gogglebox” and the mantra of “Because I’m worth it” etc etc, too many people think they are fascinating or on the cusp of being discovered, they are so self absorbed, that the right others have to quiet enjoyment, is ignored. These days who would ask with any confidence, ‘please would you use headphones?’ ….its not an unreasonable request, its just asking for some civility, both parties get what they want, but we’re very short on civility these days. If the train line or airline company impose the rule, then it works, and people modify their behaviour. These businesses impose lots of other restrictions, adding an additional one which makes travelling more pleasant would be an improvement.

I think that sensory overload is becoming the norm unfortunately

"Sensory overload" my arse. This is just people being inconsiderate. Yes it is inconsiderate to play music, tv, or anything really without headphones in this day and age in public spaces, especially public spaces that have their own noises to deal with. "Sensory overload" is such a wanky way of saying that I shouldn't have to listen to anyone else's choice of media in a public space that also puts the onus on you, as the listener, rather than them, the inconsiderate oaf.