To be SO fucking hurt by this

[BelleSauvage9]

Just been at a birthday party for my nephew in laws partner. At the end of the night dp made a big point of telling nephew to get up in the morning with their kids (because he never does). Dp NEVER gets up with our kids. Not on my birthday, mother's day, just never. I feel so unbelievably hurt that he thinks nephews partner is worth that effort and I, the mother of his children, his partner, the hub of our home, is not.

I expressed this to him. His response was that he tells me to wake him up. I've told him many times there's no point in doing that because if I'm awake enough to wake him, then I'm awake and I won't be able to go back to sleep. And it just feels like a bloody cop out, and puts the responsibility onto me. How the hell does being responsible for your own lie in make you feel valued and appreciated and cared for. I just despair :(

If you're a stay-at-home mom, remember that your contribution is as valuable as your partner's salary. It's important to advocate for yourself and not let your hard work go unappreciated. I’ve been in your shoes as one of the parents juggling responsibilities at home. It's entirely fair to expect recognition for everything you do, but that won't always happen

If your partner thinks their job is more challenging than yours or feels that bringing in income is all that counts, consider having an open conversation about it. It’s all about sharing perspectives! Both of you are working hard, and the challenges of the past years, like navigating through COVID, make me think this is a dip. His salary is your wage, your not unpaid.

Just know that your worth isn’t tied to your role at home; your partner loves you for who you are. Have you ever thought about discussing love languages? That could help both of you understand each other better. If you lead with, I do this, and You do nothing, guaranteed row.

It's normal to feel exhausted sometimes, especially after everything we've been through. Plan a quick getaway, like a weekend in Tenerife, if possible. It might be a good chance to recharge, even if you catch up on some much-needed sleep!

I genuinely believe in the importance of women standing up for themselves and being respected for their individuality. You've got this! I use xhatgpt to make me sound nicer. I realise I'm approaching this clinically :)

"It's clearly at the point now here where one of her kids is so clingy with her in the morning that he was crying for his Mum this morning. That's not just his fault but hers as well as she should have noticed that sooner."

Wow, way to victim blame. The kid is clingy because he's not contributing to the parenting.

Ffs are you her husband? Your comments are ridiculous and infuriating.

This. She doesn't look bad at all she looks hurt

It’s like you haven’t read a single thing the OP said. Are you a bot?

Men do this ( and probably women too) because by saying it out loud other people wrongly assume they are that person. Try not to dwell on this, worrying about it won’t make a difference . To make a difference, change things .
In my experience very few men have much of an idea how women think. They need to be told or better still , shown.
He’s told you to wake him , do so.
Set his alarm and tell the children to wake him in the morning , not you .
Tell them he wants to spend time and have breakfast with them . ( you may need to leave breakfast ingredients on the kitchen table, yes I know you shouldn’t have to) .
Men often don’t know what they’re missing , breakfast can be great bonding time for a father and his children , he may even decide he wants it to be a regular thing without your asking.
He may not, then you need a conversation but give him a chance first.

Perfectly put.

What an arse hole. He wants to look like a good guy that does good things without acting like a good guy that does good things.
It proves he knows he should be doing it though and he's just taking the piss.
Call his bluff and wake him up and then just go back to bed and doom scroll if you can't sleep.