...to think that women should be able to warn other women....

[thebrollachan]

...about the behaviour of specific men in their friendship group?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/cancel-culture-death-oxford-university-b2643626.html

(The incident appears to have happened a few days before his death, was sexual in nature, and involved an ex-girlfriend.)

Maybe it was a lie. Or a mistake. Or it really happened and she didn't want other women to run the same risk.

What it wasnt was "cancel culture".

Agree, this was not cancel culture. Initial reports were that his whole friendship group had ostracized him. Now, The Times reports two girls confronted him over an incident, and he committed suicide the next day.

I’ve thought this. My violent ex is in the same town and I know another woman who went into a relationship with him, he’s never been arrested so no police record, but it should be ok to share this sort of information.

The dilemma is that without (and sometimes even with) an official resolution, the truth is unknowable. In similar situations the woman has been the one to be ostracised, for being a snitch/bad sport/liar.

I suspect the friendship group will have reached their own conclusions based on their knowledge of the protagonists, and the whole thing would have blown over, and a new normal established, surprisingly quickly.

But that's been forestalled by the young man's irreversible and tragic decision.

Why has this been labelled as "cancel culture"?

This, taken from The Times yesterday:

"An Oxford University student killed himself after becoming the victim of “pervasive cancel culture”, an inquest has found. ..... Following a request by Rogers’s family, a coroner said that that he would write to the Department for Education to address the prevalence of cancel culture in higher university settings. Counsel for the family had asked for the coroner to address this culture in his conclusion in an effort to prevent similar tragedies from taking place."

This conclusion - tragic young man kills himself because of mean friends - is not borne out by the wider context. The coroner seems to be blaming what he calls cancel culture for this preventable tragedy, where "cancel culture" actually amounts to a young women, supported by her friend, telling a young man off for what she perceived as bad behaviour.

Sounds like same-old same-old, blame the women and shut them up.

Within several paragraphs of the coroner mansplaining “cancel culture”, it states he messaged peers indicating whatever had happened was “unintentional but inexcusable”.

But we have no idea what the full details of the situation are. I think it's unfair to use this terrible tragedy to push forward a political agenda or to assume this means "women can't warn women". A family is without their son. Does he really need to be torn to pieces by random women on the internet? This thread is in extremely poor taste.

Misogyny. Because people need reminding that women are manipulative, dishonest, vengeful harridans.

I don't know what happened in this case truly and it is very sad this guy took his life, but has others have said, that's not 'cancel culture'

Exactly!

I'm going for the coroner, not the young man. And the coroner's response here does bear looking at.

Well everything is women’s fault. This can’t possibly have been about a man’s own bad decisions.

This is not cancel culture

An incident happened at ds school, girl involved was very upset and her friends didn’t want anything to do with the boy involved

I was proud ds took that stance

This

because sadly sexual assault against women happens far too frequently you are assuming he behaved in a terrible way and a woman shared this to warn others. This is one of many possibilities and it seems very bad taste to use this situation to forward an agenda.

We don’t know the details from what has been released and should not make the rest of the story up

We can discuss how young women should be supported to report sexual assault without doing this.

I'm a bit confused as to what happened.

A young man is dead.

Starting a thread for people to speculate about what he might or might not have done and whether it was right or wrong that his friends ostracised him doesn't seem like a good thing to do.

As sad as this situation is, this young man was not owed unconditional friendship from his peers.

Read this briefly yesterday, and immediately thought 'how is this cancel culture?'

What happened was very sad, but not cancel culture.

I think that cancel culture is horrible. I have no idea what this situation was but I certainly think that lots of people think they are taking a moral stance when actually they are behaving more like a lynch mob.

There is no real information on this besides the fact this person has died. Speculating and forming an additional lynch mob either way is really unhelpful.

So far, no-one is speculating on what he might or mighr not have done ( beyond his own admission that he did something).

We are discussing the reaction to the behaviour of the women concerned. They told him off. The coroner refers to this as "cancel culture" and is trying to discourage it.

This - and comments here that focus on the "tragic young man" - seek to stop women talking about bad things that happen.to them.

Have you an opinion on the coroner's statements about this case?

The objective is not to speculate (about something which is unknowable, and speculation about which, could get the thread deleted). But...

"The coroner [will] write to the Department for Education to address the prevalence of cancel culture in higher university settings. Counsel for the family had asked for the coroner to address this culture in his conclusion in an effort to prevent similar tragedies from taking place."

How does this make sense?

Being ‘sent to Coventry’ when you are away from home and family is distressing and isolating.

In this case, he was dealing with the shame of what he believed he had done- in his case unintentionally- and had no one to check in on him and see if he was ok.

Sadly serial predators are unlikely to take the shame of the situation at all seriously. The boy’s behaviour suggests it was more likely to be unintentional, or thoughtless, rather than deliberate disregard.

It’s really sad, and people who behave badly and make mistakes need support, too.

This is a horrible thread

Some of the responses here are sooo like those you read of when a promising athlete in the US is accused of rape. Concern primarily for the man.

I imagine the friendship group, including the women, are upset about his death and worried about whether they contributed. Generally we don’t wish death on anyone.

I think recognising people can behave badly and still be vulnerable is important.

Most of us have done something we’re ashamed of, haven’t we?