to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

Wow, whatever happened to being neighbourly. Say no if you really must, but karma may come back to bite you if you ever need a favour from your neighbour.

I’ve updated the thread days ago. I’m not justifying myself yet again!!

So never say NO to any requests even if uncomfortable, so karma doesn't get you???
That's a ridiculous thing to live by.

There are many takers in life, OP wasn't sure, came here to ask for advice to help handle her discomfort.

Not everyone is happy having strangers in the house and that's ok.

Surely you can appreciate we're all different.

Saying NO doesn't automatically make one a bad person and people shouldn't do away with their boundaries for someone else's comfort.

I say this as someone who has at times used a bucket to wash when no one appropriate was available to ask.

Jesus Christ
Yet again….

I AM LETTING HER USE IT!!!!! Ok!!!!!???

in a way that I am comfortable with, because after all it is my house.

I didn't say you can never say no, and I didn't say refusal makes you a bad person. It depends on the circumstances! But this is using a shower whilst theirs is out of action. A pretty simple and innocuous request. I just find it beyond belief that someone feels this worthy of going on Mumsnet. We're clearly all different, but I'd have no hesitation.

Oh, if it won't kill her then that's all right isn't it

Agree, plenty of people wash that way normally.

What do you think people used to do before, then?

Totally agree! Not to mention we’re now in an age of low cost gym memberships. She could just sign up to a local gym and shower there.

Karma for having boundaries? 🤢

How would you feel if positions were reversed? If you get on fine, you may not love the idea but I would prob just go with it rather than ruin the relationship which could get awkward very quickly. You may need her for a favour one day.

Unless she is a gym member then she could go there for a shower that's what my husband did when our boiler broke down lol

So it's been just over a week. 7th to 16th

How many showers did you allow her @NavyOrca ?

I'm glad you said yes. At a time that suits you

It's a small thing to you but will be helpful to her

I think it’s cheeky to ask a neighbour, (not close friend or family) to use the shower. I would help my neighbours out with various problems but find that one rather intrusive. I wouldn’t ask that of a neighbour or probably even a close friend. We’ve had a broken shower and power cuts and just made do with boiling a kettle (gas). I just feel it’s too personal. (I also do voluntary work and I’m not unkind.)
Sorry first time posting as was a reply to someone but may have done it wrong and created a new post. I don’t know how to delete it.