to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

yup, did this as a teen as I had waist length hair and no bathroom at all and more recently did it when I was having building works done and more recently still when we had no water at all and we were filtering water out of the water butts and boiling it.

We had no bathroom for the best part of a month due to a collapsed ceiling and a bathroom refit (refit started then ceiling collapsed). We had lots of “kitchen sink washes - hair washed using a bowl of water and a jug. We also had a few nights in a hotel
when the water had to be off. It was unsettling. If I had a neighbour I could have asked I would have … sadly our neighbours are the Clampits.

Personally I would just have a stand up wash in the bathroom until the shower was fixed. As long as you’re clean it doesn’t matter how you do it.

Gosh some people are absolutely vile. I'm on a friendly hello terms with my neighbours nothing more and would absolutely let them pop in for a shower. I work from home so I'd just say of course but could you do xx time. I could understand if it was a man and you felt at risk. But if it's another woman who you don't have any weird vibes off, just let the poor woman have a quick wash!

I would say come at x time maybe after work or weekend.

🤣🤣🤣

Absolutely no way, perfectly possible to keep clean with a flannel in a bowl it’s bloody cheeky to be honest. I’d say I’m really sorry. I’m just not comfortable with anyone else in my bathroom.

Local pool have showers to
!
cheeky bugger

If you were in the same predicament, would you appreciate just popping next door? Why not help her out? Mean not to imo, for the sake of half an hour disturbing a tiny part of all of your enjoying alone time. Xx

You're lucky to have a local pool!

Agree how insular and selfish some people have become not to help out. I think living alone can cause resentment at having to interact with anyone within the home?

God there are some mean people on here!

Could she try this?

I think it’s cheeky of her to ask.
Surely she could have a bath, or if she doesn’t have a bath to use, then a strip wash at the sink?
It’s only for 2 weeks until her own shower is repaired.

Given that she has asked, I’d agree to her request of alternate days but give her set times when it’s convenient for you. I admit I’d find it difficult to refuse, even though I think she’s being unreasonable.

I'm not surprised that some people don't want to have virtual strangers naked in their house on a regular basis. What surprises me are the self righteous posters harshly condemning the OP for having boundaries or hesitating to invite an acquaintance to have open access to her shower facilities.

Probably took a lot for her to ask you this.
i think you’re being a bit mean
id tell her she can use it but arrange certain times for it

It's not "mean" to have boundaries or to say no to requests. Why do so many people expect women to always be "nice" and to put other people's wishes ahead of their own? No one would think twice if a man refused a request like this, but women are expected to be polite and accommodating all the time, even if it's inconvenient.

I am on the same terms as my neighbours but would say yes. I would put a few restrictions on though, like every other day for example. I think it would be unkind to say no completely.

This is so funny.

I'd not think twice to allow a neighbour a shower.

Can she get a weeks gym membership or shower at work? Some stations etc. also have them.

If you say so!

I wouldn’t hesitate to oblige but would negotiate a set time which best suits me.

I don’t see the problem as long as brings her own toiletries and towels, cleans up after herself and it’s a time limited thing. I have needed favours from time to time and I hate asking but it’s nice to know you have help if you ever really need it.

Tell her, don’t suggest, make it clear she pays up front to use it.
Make it expensive say £50 per use.
That’s for use, inconvenience and time and labour to clean up after her

😂😂