to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

No one is harshly commenting, it’s her next door neighbor and she said they sometimes walk their dogs together! What’s happened to bit of community

This happened to me once, and needed to use neighbours shower, but I went everyday! I felt really embarrassed!

I think it's kind of you to let her use it, but of course tell her what your boundaries are, for example the times.

In the middle of converting a barn and the lovely farmers wife offered us a bath whenever we wanted - such luxury such kindness never forgotten

id just let her. But only when it’s convenient for you.

It sounds to me she has no one else to ask and given she’s asked for every other day, then she already feels quite bad having to ask you.
Personally, my neighbours and I rely on each other a lot to help out with feeding each others cats whilst we’re away, my husband has helped change her tyre and they looked after our house when we were in hospital with our baby. We don’t know each other well and aren’t friends but a good neighbour is worth their weight in gold.
Be honest and tell her you have the week off, so if you could come at XX time then it will be fine. If you’re confident you will never need her help in a bind then say no, but I think it’s pretty mean when she can’t nip elsewhere.

This is one of the most unkind posts I've seen. And I'm not a people person.

I'd agree to her request as she doesn't have family or friends in the area but id as locate her an evening time slot when it was convenient to me. I think you are being a bit mean tbh, not very neighbourly.

I’d say yes, but I’d be a bit weirded out by it. If my shower broke and I couldn’t get someone to fix it right away, I’d get one of those shower hoses that fits over the taps.

When I movies into my new home a very old house slowly over the winter the whole bathroom had sprung. Leaks through to the dining room, so had to stop showering. I bucket washed in the living room in front of the gas fire for a month and washed my hair in the kitchen sink. It was quite fun. A bit like camping. Or there’s always the local swimming pool or a gym.

She could always have a bath instead?! Or fill up the sink with hot water and have a strip wash with a flannel or sponge.
I would not have a strange person use my shower.

You get a flannel and wash at the sink. You can even wash your hair in the sink. Don’t you know.

I wouldn’t have the gall to ask a neighbour unless very good friends, personally unless I had no hot water because (as above), there is an alternative.

@RitaFires

she has a dog, I'm sure your cat wouldn't bother her!!

id warn your cat that it won't be pretty, but its welcome to stay as long as it doesn't sue me for scaring it!!

This.

How is someone using my bathroom different to a public washroom? Fairly obviously.
And for me, when I use a public washroom I accept that it's public and only use them when I want, or in the case where I had to, need.

When we moved to our first house, our neighbour, who we hadn't even met, knocked and asked if she could use our toilet as plumbers were in she didn't want to use the bathroom. I thought it was a bit cheeky but agreed anyway.

Four months later on Christmas eve, my electricity went as I overloaded it trying to cook for 20 people the next day. She came in and offered to let me use her whole kitchen and oven to cook our dinner. I think she would have done that even if I'd said no to the toilet request, but I was glad I'd said yes to her request.

Not much to ask and as others have said you never know when you might need a favour. Good neighbourly relations are worth their weight in gold .

No, I meant why it is gross for someone on their period to use your toilet?

Periods aren't gross!

Yes. I think you are being a bit mean.....just say you are planning lie ins so here is a key, show her where shower is. It's good to be neighbourly, and you never know when you might need a favour.

IKR!

Having nice neighbours who you get on with is worth so much.

My neighbours and I have used each other's showers and washing machines on occasion. We take turns mowing the front lawns (they are joined) and we feed each other's cats if the other is away. Obviously having arrangements like that isn't always possible but it benefits me hugely. We don't take advantage and there are boundaries there like they wouldn't ask me to walk their dogs and I wouldn't ask them to look after my kids.

why cant she boil a couple of kettles and use sink for top half and a bowl for feet/bum.

@stargazerlil

its just not the same in front of the radiator!! 😂

Extra stuff like that iny personal space I'm ok with me and my immediate family.
I guess like all other bodily functions except more mess.

I agree with this. YANBU to say no.

I can imagine she didn’t want to ask you really but thought ‘I’m sure she won’t mind’. So just let her use it, it’s a few minutes out of your day, not a big deal. Just make yourself scarce or unavailable at the time so she doesn’t over stay and chat if she’s that’s bad. If you ever need a favour this will be the things she remembers.

She’s rude and brave most people in this situation would think something up like booking a swim at the local baths and using their showers