to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

No one said what would Jesus do. That is spectacular point-missing.

And people lament the end of neighbourhood communities 🙄

In all seriousness, if the neighbour turned out to be near me I'd absolutely say yes. Bet I'm not the only one either.

Perhaps the OP is worried that the neighbour might have very long showers, or not clean up afterwards. If the neighbour still has a water supply, which I presume she has, as she has not asked to keep using the loo, then surely a wash at the sink would suffice until her shower is working again? Plenty of people do that anyway!

That was a joke….

The OP has addressed the friend or relative thing.
Sure, she could boil endless kettles and have a strip-wash like in the 40s. Or the OP could do her a little favour.

Neighbour isn't asking to join OP in her shower unless this is the biggest drip feed ever

We were doing that into the 80s every summer holiday at my grandads…..it’s not that far back a thing

The person I have seen most vocally and angrily arguing with those of us who would be ok with it appears to be you. I am perfectly capable of understanding that no everyone feels the same.

Hopefully after your bedtime shower and a good night's sleep, you will be less angst ridden in the morning.

Filling a bath with a kettle takes aeons.

YABU!

In my world, pubes generally go down the plug during the showering process. Any errant ones, people generally rinse them down after. If people don't, or they're very sneaky and remain, I rinse them down with the hand-held attachment. As another poster said, I don't think most people clean the bath with their tongue

Here's a suggestion. Sorry if it blows anyone's mind.
'Sure, neighbour. If I could just ask you to come in between x o'clock and o'clock so I always know when to expect you, and keep it down to x minutes – watching the bills, you know how it is! There's a hand-held thing for rinsing round the bath after.'

The 80s is longer ago than it seems...
But anyway I really don't see why people would have their neighbour do it (IME it's messy and you get cold) when they could just let someone have quick shower

Yes she could, I suppose, if the neighbours water was completely shut off , but it appears only the shower was unavailable in her house. She could have just have had a daily wash, like many do. In her situation I would not have bothered my neighbour with a request for a shower!

In the 40s? Many have strip washes to save electricity / gas and don’t have BO!

Two weeks to get a shower fixed? That is ridiculous! I would not dream of asking a neighbour if I can use their shower! I actually own the apartment above where I live, and when I had an issue with my shower, even though I was paying for the water upstairs, I did not even consider asking them if I could use the spare shower!

@MarkWithaC from this thread you can see many people wouldn’t consider this ask ‘little’

Thats purely a matter of individual opinion.

Not everyone has a bath 🙄

Apparently you can hire them!
£35
rustic hire

who’d have though it

I don't know what somebody's shower being out of order for a short period of time has to do with the end of neighbourhood communities.

I would say no. Our bathrooms, and the rest of our house are for us, not people we don’t know well.

Its easy to say you would help on an anonymous forum whilst volunteering others. People can say anything and they’re often full of it.

You’re not comfortable so say no.

Generally you can't pick and choose.

You can have friendly chats over the garden gate, neighbours feeding your cat, the local mums all keeping an eye on each other's kids playing in the street etc.

With that comes the occasional ask for a slightly bigger favour or occasional nosiness into your life. I don't see how you can have one without the other.

We can all live in our individual bubbles, sure, but then we have to accept all the consequences of that choice i.e. no neighbourhood community feeling.

Yes she could, I suppose, if the neighbours water was completely shut off
She could in this scenario too

She has hot water. She wouldn’t need to boil a kettle for a strip wash.