to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

Same.
Been rebuilding our bathroom.
We've literally been peeing in buckets- strip washing and washing our hair in the sink for 6 months as the work has dragged out.
Never occurred to us to ask the neighbours.

Many of us have said that we've done it in practice.

I know, exactly!
I mean, personally I'd go as far as just rinsing the pube away I'm pretty sure it wouldn't mean I had to take to the fainting couch or get my house professionally fumigated.

Having no hot water is different from having a broken shower.

Cheeky moo!!

Give her the hose pipe!

Seriously though it's up to you. I think there's nothing wrong with asking but equally nothing wrong with saying no.

For me I'm quite untidy, a bit embarrassed about the state of my bathroom and would probably say no on that basis unless we were friends or I had a guest shower then I'd try really hard and agree to every other day.

If you do say no I'm sure they have other neighbours or can pop to the gym, or work something out.

Just let her have a shower FGS

To think pooing in the shower is disgusting | Mumsnet

And let's not forget, some people shit and wee in the shower.

Yes, let her use it. You can do as PPs have suggested and make it so it the least possible intrusion.

It is known to be good for your own health to help somebody else - the late great Dr Michael Mosley did a whole podcast on this.

For me I'm quite untidy, a bit embarrassed about the state of my bathroom and would probably say no on that basis unless we were friends or I had a guest shower then I'd try really hard and agree to every other day.

Me too. Also our shower is over bath,not walk in, I’m used to getting in and out but would be afraid of neighbour having an accident.

I don't know how people on here manage when they have to go to hospital and share a shower with complete randomers

They just get on with it, I should think, since there's no other option.

But letting a person you are on nodding terms with into your home to get naked in your bathroom is entirely optional.

Insurance. Private hospital. Private shower.

Public hospital - plastic shoes in the showers.

So are you going to help her?

never even crossed my mind for a split second to ask any of my neighbors if I could come get naked and wet in their house.

Yeah, she asked to borrow the shower, not film a porn movie 🙄

I'm utterly embarrassed for some of the posters on here who are not only selfish and unhelpful, but they try to justify it with ridiculous hyperbolic posts.

Like the PP who wouldn't want her neighbour's pubes in her shower.

FFS does she clean it with tongue?

Not so much 'nodding terms', more 'I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past'

Again with the 'naked'?!

Are you quite ok?

What sort of awful tragedy do you think will befall the household if someone removes their clothing, to wash their skin?

I suppose you could always button your nightie and burn some sage?

If you aren't REALLY good friends, I think its weird to ask. Over the last few years I have had a couple of times when I have been without shower or bath for a couple of weeks because of stuff being done in the house and I just strip washed and washed my (long) hair in the sink. On one occasion there was no hot water at all and I boiled big saucepans.

Oh, you shower with your clothes on! What a fruitcake! 😂😅😆

This is mind boggling to me. Of course you don't HAVE to do it. But I just cannot in a million years imagine saying no to a neighbour in need like this (unless something very specific was happening, like ill family member)?! And I say this as someone who doesn't have ANY volunteering jobs 😂....
I'm also messy, and a bit unreliable with cleaning the bathroom, and would have to adjust my habits while neighbour used the shower, or give a disclaimer ("you're very welcome. I'll warn you in advance, though, it's a bit of a mess").

Having said that, I think if it's going to make you really pissed off, OP, it may be better to say no in case neighbour picks up on this and feels really awkward/bad using it.

It's always really weird to me how many commenters online have zero empathy or ability to imagine that other people think differently, cannot for even a second see an alternative point of view.

It sure is mind boggling.

I wouldn't dream of asking a neighbour this. Its more something I would ask a family member and if no other choice I'd go to gym/take out a trial or membership for couple of weeks!

Let her use the shower! It's no big deal (and will help her out massively).

Fair enough. I think I'm able to understand a pretty broad range of mindsets, but there are certain ones I do struggle to understand, it's true. I imagine that's true of most people?

Sure, but it's not a way out there "mindset" to not want virtual strangers getting naked in your home - even if some posters are super hysterical about the factual word "naked" 😅

It's not out there either to imagine that if someone is cheeky enough to ask this they will push for more.

It's not hard to imagine many would worry about the hygiene of the person using their personal space.

And many people are just private and don't want people in their home unless it's really necessary.

I don't thnk any of those are out there notions, or particularly difficult to imagine or empathise with.

I don't know if I'd let them, but I didn't like the way the OP was being dragged and made out to be selfish or mad for not being over the moon about her private time for a week being interrupted by a cheeky neighbour who doesn't need access to her shower, she just wants it.