to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

Can you imagine if Jesus was a Mumsnetter? "Blind? Yeah, well that's my garment hem you're touching and I might catch covid". "Sorry, Lazarus will just have to stay dead, I'm enjoying a leisurely meeting with my bros here". "Don't open the door! It might be some people wanting fed."

We are the sum of our actions. I'm definitely not a push-over and have good boundaries, but this woman's life would be vastly improved at a minor inconvenience to me, so why would I say no?

This thread's turned a bit weird now.

Naked is natural, but the way some people keep obsessing over it, it's like they're turning it into something completely different in their minds.

Creepy.

I know, I do wish you'd stop obsessing. It's just the way people have showers and a factual statement. Creepy to zero in on a simple fact. Shudder.

this woman's life would be vastly improved at a minor inconvenience to me, so why would I say no?

You've summed it up perfectly @ChristmasFluff

I think thats a bit mean. Mind you Id never ask my neighbours if I could use their shower, id just wash myself down. Doesnt she have a bath?

Flannel? Does the OP not have a hose?

Seems some people think this woman is going to undress in her own house before she rocks up for a shower.

It really is.

I don't even understand what you're saying now @Bippy2024 .

In your haste to keep deflecting any criticism of your posts, you're not making much sense.

I wouldnt like it either, but I'd offer a set time that suited me as she's only asked for every other day.

If it's that hard to get a plumber locally what would you do if your shower stopped working?

God lord the responses on here! I lived for 40 years in central London and then moved to a small community in NZ. We live on tank water; whatever falls from the sky is our water source. In dry spells we and our neighbours frequently run out of water and have to rely on overworked water deliveries by truck for huge amounts of money that could take weeks when tanks run dry.
When we run out there is NO water. Nothing from the taps. No toilet flushing. No drinking water. No buckets to flannel wash. We all keep upwards of 50litres of drinkable water for emergencies though but it's precious stuff as the supermarket then runs out when it's dry
We have lived in three houses here and have relied on the good grace of relative strangers to allow us to use their shower and, god forbid, their toilets for poos, if they still have water. It's a precious commodity they are sharing and we have never been turned down. In fact they post on the community Facebook page offering it
We now live in a house with 3 huge water tanks and a bore which gives us unlimited water and we've had our house open for all manner of neighbours and families trooping in for ablutions in mid summer. We even do loads of laundry and dishwashing for randoms down the street!
I work in the upstairs office and they just get on with it.
We've had gifts of wine, home cooking, child's drawings (not of them pooping except for one), restaurant vouchers, gin and whisky.

No ones has left pubes. Most leave it cleaner than when they got in.
Yes it's a slight bother but so what.
I forget that Brits can be so uptight sometimes.

I have good relationships with most of my neighbours too but we've never showered in each other's houses, or asked to.

If she's been looking forward to a week off work, with no schedule or commitments, she might feel much less relaxed if she has to make sure her home is clean and tidy every other day and that she is up and dressed at a time that suits the neighbour.

And then she can give her a loaf and some fish and heal her leprosy.

And the Lord Sayeth Unto thee verily thou shalt let thou cheeky fucker neighbour use your shower or ye shall not reach the Kingdom of Heaven!

Comparing yourself to Jesus cos you'd hypothetically let some imaginary neighbour have a shower is absolutely fucking peak Mumsnet. Brilliant comedy comment, thanks love.

😅😂😅

I can't imagine not letting someone I was on friendly terms with use my shower a few times if they had no other options. Nothing wrong with letting her do it on your own terms though, like saying when she can come, and even for how long if you must.

This really does not need to impact your life much, but will make hers much easier, so why wouldn't you?

Sorry you're making no sense, love, are you trying to make a point?

Not even remotely the same.

When I've had hot water or bathroom issues I've used the shower at the gym but other places I've lived no gym membership so just used the kitchen sink.
I have asked neighbours if I could use their fridge for brief times but wouldn't occur to me to ask to use the shower.

Is that what you would do? Seems a bit of a strange notion.

I was with you all the way until "I forget that Brits can be so uptight sometimes."

Please don't label Brits like that, just because some people are selfish/strange/uptight etc.

It's got nothing to do with being British and everything to do with being selfish.

It would be pretty mean to say no but fo offer her a time that suits you eg between 7&8 in evening if you aren't keen on the morning and if one day you are out just say so. A blanket no isn't very neighbourly

Yes @Bippy2024 that's exactly what I would do

Yep, everyone seems to forget she's actually got running water and can just wash in the sink for a week, which is inconvenient but not difficult and far less hassle than bothering a neighbour. It's a really odd, first world problems request.

Would you rather live in a world where people get to decide what they should do, without being called selfish by others who wouldn't do exactly the same thing?

Good for you. How stunning and brave.