Colleagues having sex in the office out of hours

[Reidal]

2 of my colleagues have been dating for a few months, I’d say they are friends of mine and we get on well.
Yesterday after work a lot of us went to the pub, the CEO was covering the tab so everyone was a bit tipsy.
Today the guy mentioned to someone else (who is dating my closest friend). That when they went back to the office to pick up their stuff before leaving they got carried away and had sex.

AIBU to think this is massively inappropriate and to report it?

You say they are friends of yours, so why on earth would you want to report them? You're potentially damaging their careers/costing them their jobs!

Unless they were getting busy on your desk and didn't clear up, mind your business!

Yes report it and call the fun police while you are at it

No, dont. Disinfect where they did it.

So you'd put yourself in the position of being somebody who makes an allegation that could end both people's employment (although it's usually the woman who ends up out of a job for some reason misogyny) - on the basis of you heard from a friend of a friend that the friend heard something in a pub after the alleged event may or may not have taken place between the friend's friend's friend and his lady friend?

Do you really fancy sitting there with an investigating manager, somebody recording/minuting what you say, word for word, you then having to sign that it's absolutely true that you are reporting a incident that may have taken place between a friend's friend's friend and his lady friend 'because it's the right thing to do' - and then having to attend disciplinary panel hearings to confirm that it's 100% true that you heard it through a friend of a friend's friend - and for everybody to know it was you who decided to report it?

It'll be a wonderful atmosphere at work after that, whether they stay or whether, as that is not sufficient to secure a legally safe termination, they both come back to see you every single day. I'm sure you'll find it slightly less, um, friendly.

Are they actually friends of yours, because your idea of reporting them for this isn't something a friend would do. More like a vindictive classroom tattle-tale.

If you report it there is a risk they might get fired. If one of them is your friend I might make them aware of the fact that the incident is talked about. But they might not thank you for bringing it up. Overall best to stay out of it.

If I found out about this, I would spray the both of them and say there'll be more of that if they carry on 😂(whilst no one's around in earshot obviously).

Why would you ever, ever, think the thing to do is report this? This must be a reverse. Or possibly you are very young and this is your first job. If it’s the latter I’ll cut you some slack - no, don’t report it, it won’t end well for you and will just alienate you from people.

Report it? You nasty person!

Why would you even think about reporting it? How strange, are you jealous?

doesn't sound like you're much of a "friend" to them. If they were having a full blown affair in the office, fair enough. But they're single and can do what they want. It's none of your business.

Imagine how sad you'd look if you reported it.

What would you gain by reporting it?

I didn't report my colleague when I heard her shagging her counterpart from another regional office. Why would I? She thought everyone had gone so I left (quietly) and said nothing. Admittedly it was a bit awkward when a month or so later I was at her wedding and spotted the bloke she'd been shagging, and his wife.

Wow - why would you try to get your “friends” in trouble for nothing that impacts your life in anyway? The only thing it would achieve would be for you to lose your friends and reputation in the office because no one likes someone who tries to throw people under the bus for something so minor. Unless they had sex on your work chair and jizzed all over your desk I don’t know why it would bother you?

This is what I thought. This would be a disciplinary offence in my industry. Foolish people. Even more so to boast about it.

Unless you witnessed them, this is none of your business.

There was a case in my organisation where two colleagues were shagging after hours regularly, and one was married. It was reported, but all the supposed 'witnesses' vanished like rats up a drain when they were asked to back up their stories during an investigation.

I wouldn't care TBH. Small supermarket I worked in in my late teens even had a 'shag pit' for those long slow evening hours for employees to get it on or to bring their gfs or bfs for fun. It improved productivity & when you close at 10pm, on the clock until 10.30pm or 11pm ... and still there at 11.40pm due to some error in shutting the systems down ( minimum five of us to close as a very rough area), lot of time to twiddle our thumbs etc. It was the store room with all the massive packs of toilet rolls which contain 10 6packs each. Surprisingly comfy. Tell the Supervisor or Deputy manager where you were off to, weg door shut and listen out for messages if you actually needed for something important and it was all fine.
Getting shafted by the well muscled delivery guy was my main perk of the job.
A couple of friends working at local Tesco would give bjs on the internal fire escape stairs as there were no cameras on certain Spots.
In these days of doom and gloom and misogynistic wankers returning to the fecking White House, let people have their fun and don't be prudish.

Leave them to it

unless they are leaving sex juices all over your desk, stay out of it.

I don't think you are a friend to these people

What would you possibly hope to achieve by reporting it

Rumour has it there’s been lots of this gone on in my place of work.

Sadly, wasn’t me on any of the occasions. Though I wish it was.

YABU to report it, you nosy bore.

Keep your mouth shut and wipe down your desk.

None of your business. Unless it happened on your desk and there are obvious tell tale signs.