Colleagues having sex in the office out of hours

[Reidal]

2 of my colleagues have been dating for a few months, I’d say they are friends of mine and we get on well.
Yesterday after work a lot of us went to the pub, the CEO was covering the tab so everyone was a bit tipsy.
Today the guy mentioned to someone else (who is dating my closest friend). That when they went back to the office to pick up their stuff before leaving they got carried away and had sex.

AIBU to think this is massively inappropriate and to report it?

God no, don't report it. What are you thinking?

Eughh, that’s really low rent! Don’t report it, as that’s a bit nasty.

It does sounds like they’re wearing it like a badge of honour so will likely get found out by management soon enough, as ‘bragging’

You’re welcome to think what you want. However, I don’t understand why you want to be a snitch.

There are worst things than two consenting adults having sex.

You also need to consider they are unlikely to get fired. I know two occasions of this happening where I worked previously and nothing was done because they were drunk and work had supplied the alcohol.

Your CEO bought the drinks. Whether or not in a company card - they are still representing the company when they are out with you.

There would be an investigation of the allegations and depending on who had first hand knowledge of their relationship and they had sex at work after hours - not going to take them long to figure out it was you.

Id stick to making work reports about things which actually affect people - like bullying, harassment, racism, fraud, theft etc.

Christ 🙄 I bet you’re fun!
‘I just want to report that someone told me Tom and Jane shagged in the office last night’…
Can you imagine how pathetic you would sound, why would you even begin to care

Unless he washed his knob in the communal water fountain I honestly don't know why you'd even give this any consideration!

Bet your great fun at parties 😒

It would be one thing to report if you’d actually walked in on them yourself. But it would be completely unreasonable to report based on what someone else told you.

So what! Lighten Up!

Take some disinfectant wipes to clean down all surfaces that you work at 😆
Let them have their fun.
Although the guy is being a bit of a dick sharing that info!

Why would you do that? How strange..
Just leave them to it, especially if they are your friends!
Such a strange thought to have.

I once found a pube on my desk at work one morning. I wonder if we work at the same office?!

Yes it’s very inappropriate. Why report it, what’s your goal? They’ll probably be disciplined, possibly fired. If you think that’s proportionate then go for it I guess? I would not personally choose to have that on my conscience but you may feel differently.

Are you hoping to get them fired? Because that's literally the only reason you would report it.

No I wouldn't. It has literally no impact on you whatsoever.

Fuckin hell you're one of those.

It's after hours, they got carried away. No harm done. Yes its a bit inappropriate but life happens, this isn't a massive deal.

You didn't walk in on them, you heard a bit of gossip. I'm just imagining the conversation with HR.

My best friends boyfriend was talking to John who told him that he did it with Kate in the boardroom.... yeah but no but...

(Vicky Pollard reference)

And honestly this is in the same bucket as kids who tattletale

Your hr team does not want to hear about a petty misdemeanour between two consenting adults.

If they broke the photocopier maybe. At a push.

Report what tjey had sex they didn't ask you or the whole office to join in lol

Mind your own business!

Better still go get a good rogering yourself, might loosen you up

If you want to end your friendship, get them sacked and earn the reputation as a vindictive cow who'll smile at your face and stab you in the back, crack on.

Work might not involve many pleasant nights out afterwards though

God I must be bored at work but if my colleague told me she shagged someone on top of the printer it might liven up the day! It's a bit of fun and I imagine a daft once off. Good on them, though they should have kept their mouths shut as it will be doing the rounds in no time anyways.

Posts have made me chuckle - we had an ex boss who very much sleazed his way around the office. Plenty of women who fell for his charms. I think he used to go back to the office after a night out and have rampant fun on his desk (so the gossips say). I bet CSI would’ve had a field day with one of those black uv lights - jizz central!

After I heard the various rumours I used to always make sure I disinfected my desk before I started work.

Keep. Away.

Lol why would you report it leave them be. Only reason to consider reporting would be you'd found a load of pull out on your desk/keyboard etc.

3rd party gossip. No proof. If it was a close friend I would probably let them know privately what gossip is going around but would not publicly pass on said gossip as they might just be testing to see who is the office sneak! Not your information so not your business.

One way to go about losing friends I guess??
if it was a pet shop and they were jizzing over gerbils or a care home shagging in front of the patients etc then it’s a bit different but an empty office after a party just leave them too it. If the gossip has already started it won’t take long to get to the boss anyway