Should I include her in my will?

[Sillysausage76]

I got with DH over 15 years ago. I have 4 DC and he has 1. When we meet he moved into my house as its bigger. He rented his house out (dsd lived with her bf and child). DSD always made it clear his house was her inheritance and she wouldn't consider sharing it, fair enough. DH house turned into a money pit and so he sold it, not making much, he did put money into the business as have I. My house increased drastically in value. Me and dh have a joint pot so to speak but my house and assets will go to my 4 dc, dsd won't be left as much, she now wants every split equally. This isn't going to happen, my parents are also still alive and as long as no care fees needed I will inherite from them. Is it unfair not to include her in my will? She has never really accepted me but I don't think bad of her, she was spoilt as a child. She won't inherite from her mum or bf parents.

She's money grabbing and a very, very, by cheeky sod.

Tell her to take a long walk off a short pier.

If OP and her DH own and run a business it might be really important what they bring as people. It is nit just customers, equipment clients etc.
A business can dwindle if a partner dies, sadly.
I think this DSS has had an idea of her inheritance and still expects it.
OP already has a house and that’s a solid asset to pass to her DC.
If DSS sees her dad and his wife seemingly enjoying the good life she might feel she is entitled to a piece of that.
Get a will and make it solid. It can always be changed later on no matter what the circumstances are.
I have family friends with a sizeable property to be divided between three DC. After dad died, mum has gone into private care and the house has been sold to pay for it.

It may just be me, but I 💯 believe that it is the responsibility of the parent (in this case her father), to ensure t(if that’s their wish), that their mundane affairs such as inheritances are sorted.

if he invested in your home or business, he should have made it clear in a law abiding contract that she would inherit something. If he didn’t care that much, then that’s that.

When both of you die she should have 50% of the business or the value dh put into the business if that is more.

I think she should get DH’s assets - I.e. whatever % of the business is DH’s (or if you sell the business before death what money DH has left from that). Your kids get your house and your % of the business (or money from any sales).

This feels like it will screw your own children - how much is the business and house worth?

Why should she? OP’s DH doesn’t want her to have that. He could give it to her himself if he did.

Obviously they are with someone else. He has one child.

You should include exactly who you want in your will. The cats home? Yep. The local crack head? Still yep though would not be most people's choice.
It's your business and you don't need to share it with anyone. Until your dead.
Nobody is owed money off anyone in inheritance. My dad left me nothing, but my mum will leave me whatever she has. I'd rather she had a good long life and spent it on herself tbh.
So you do what you think is right.

Don’t do it. DH and I have children from previous relationships and due to this, we have a trust will. My 50% goes to my child, his 50% goes to his two children. I’m considering a small cash gift in my will to DSS but it wouldn’t be more than £2k. Nothing to DSD as she’s nasty to me 🤷‍♀️ It’s always complicated when step-kids become involved.

I agree with this. It's the fairest way to do it.

You need to ask the question that of DH still had his house would your step daughter have been happy splitting her inheritance from it with your children?

Because that’s what she’s asking you to do with yours.

I do hope you mean all this.

Putting her attitude aside for the moment, from your original posts I immediately felt like she was being short changed, but only because your DH has not future proofed his assets, and has instead liquidated them to put into a business with you that she would never own half of, he has basically taken it off her and given to you to then pass on to your children and cut her out completely.

I am in the same situation as him, moved in with DH and even down to putting money to start a business but I would never in a million years sell off an asset like that, I raised the finance a different way to ensure it remained for our daughters future as a long term investment, you've managed to keep your house and still put into the business so not sure why he couldn't do that to be honest, I could be wrong but I would hazard a guess that he is paying half the bills etc at your house, while taking on the full financial burden of his own? If that's the case then you are part of the reason he has been forced to sell up, from the outside it sounds a bit like "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine now too.. and your daughter can do one because she doesn't work hard enough"

Her attitude towards it seems to stink, but if it is a long line of him choosing to prioritise you and your children (not just financially) while disregarding her and her children I can understand why some resentment may have built up.

A bit of understanding and tolerance all round would probably not go amiss.

You need to do what suits you and what you think of your children (and grandchildren (to be)). My Mum altered her will and left everything to her grandchildren - partly because they needed it, and, we suspect, partly because I have more children than my sister and brother who never came anywhere near and left all the caring (ten years of daily visits) to me, even though they had less responsibilities and more time than me.
Brother has been vile since. TBH I don't care - he has shown his true colours and he is not a nice person. He threatened to challenge the will, but didn't have a leg to stand on. He took things from the house, etc. etc. and is effectively stealing from his own children (and mephews and nieces).
NO ONE has any right to expect money - your money, do what YOU want.

Split equally, no. But a share, yes.

I think her dad has been remiss and not looked out sufficiently for his own child. It's often the case that when a man remarries, he seems to forget his children, whilst the new wife looks out for hers.

That said you don't owe her anything. It's her father's job to have sorted something for her or request she have 50% (or whatever percentage he initially put with perhaps some interest) of the business. It's quite disgraceful that he didn't do this immediately.

Surely your husband's half if the business should go to his daughter and your half should go to your children? If the house is yours you can leave that to your children.

Agree, and then the sc can sense that, and it's on her radar, then gets labeled greedy. It's lonely being an only child with a bunch of full ss's who stand to inherit better than you. Op's own kids would likely feel similar if they were in her position.

OP owns house outright this is protected.

DH owned house, rented it to the his DD (was this at market rate or below?), DD laid claim to the house in the event of her father’s death. House fell into disrepair and rather than maintain DH cut his losses and sold.

DH put some (or all) of the proceeds into the business he and OP own jointly.

Business owned 50/50 and presuming both are taking equal amounts (OP has input similar investment by not taking salary over a number of years)
Scenario

DH dies, assuming a directors agreement in place this goes to OP.

Now, OP could get the business valued at this point and then offer DSD 25% of the worth (or 50%) if feeling particularly generous.
However, what DSD has not taken into account is that NONE OF THIS IS HER MONEY

Now may be the time for your DH to set up an ISA or similar for his DD to go to her on his passing. Then this is clearly stipulated.

She didn't want to share when it benefited her now she will lose out unsurprisingly she wants everything equal. You are not excluding her so I think your way is correct. BTW you don't have to discuss or tell anyone what is in your wills you don't owe her an explanation.

His DD never lived in his property, she lived over side of town with her partner. The house was old and needed work and when the tenants moved out sat empty for a while and so he decided to sell it.
He's never really done repairs to my house as my brothers both have own business and they normally do it.
My children all want totally different carers, apart from youngest who's unsure.

well, no matter what happen to you, I hope her father is going to leave her something. The fact you are alive, does not mean he cannot do that

Why? She still has a father who is alive. Also the poster may die before him

My house is worth a lot more than business, and my dc will be quids in.

He doesn't pay half the bills no, but does contribute. We also buy all the children similar value things, excluding my youngest as he's still a child.