Should I include her in my will?

[Sillysausage76]

I got with DH over 15 years ago. I have 4 DC and he has 1. When we meet he moved into my house as its bigger. He rented his house out (dsd lived with her bf and child). DSD always made it clear his house was her inheritance and she wouldn't consider sharing it, fair enough. DH house turned into a money pit and so he sold it, not making much, he did put money into the business as have I. My house increased drastically in value. Me and dh have a joint pot so to speak but my house and assets will go to my 4 dc, dsd won't be left as much, she now wants every split equally. This isn't going to happen, my parents are also still alive and as long as no care fees needed I will inherite from them. Is it unfair not to include her in my will? She has never really accepted me but I don't think bad of her, she was spoilt as a child. She won't inherite from her mum or bf parents.

Does DSD work part time as she has children

How is any of that relevant? He could have chosen to ring fence it for his daughter, but didn’t. He chose to invest in the business and doesn’t want to bequeath any of his stake to his daughter. That’s up to him. She isn’t owed money or assets that were never hers in the first place.

Totally agree!

In honesty I would flag this with your DSD to the solicitor and ask advice to ensure she does not try to make a claim on your estate when you die.

Agree I feel a bit sorry for her too. Her dad's house went to the business, which you say "wasn't much" but then presumably amplified in value. Yes bc of work, but also that original liquid asset would have increased in value along with the business.

I understand she's kinda entitled and lazy, but I don't think getting nothing is fair. If your own kids were in her position, they might also wonder if they stood to inherit like the other kids, but I'd doubt you'd have them go with nothing bc of it.

@InterIgnis I was wondering whether OP said money needed to go into business. DH could have put it into an investment and ringfenced that for his DSD

Maybe he thinks OP will do decent thing and leave money to DSD if he leaves everything to OP on his death (rather than breaking up business)

This doesn't feel like it should be your call. If your DH owns half the business then how he leaves it is the issue. The arrangement you have currently feels wrong to me.
Whilst he is free to cut his only child out of his will I would be really uncomfortable with that. Fairness to me would say as you are comfortably provided for with your own assets that his will should leave his estate to his daughter.
Now the practicalities of that would depend on if you are likely to be able to still run the business after his death, if you sell up it would be easy to pass his share to his daughter, or if you could realistically find the equity. Given your relationship doesn't seem great I'd steer clear of her having rights to the business itself but she should have the equivalent value.
Have you considered leaving money in trust? Currently you are assuming he will predecease you. If he doesn't then he will inherite all your share of the business, and then what? Would you expect him to include your children in his will or to pass it all down to his child?

Obviously it rather depends on the value of the business.
also- has he not paid into ypur house since hes been living there? * *

No, she's now an adult, made it clear she doesn't like you and yet she wants your money?
Tell her to jog on.

Oh boohoo for her. When it was going her way, she wanted it all. She is an adult, not a small child.

That can be sorted with the solicitor. Perhaps a silent 49% share is the easiest, or perhaps it just goes to her on OP's death. But if her share can be split between her DC, then his DC should get his. It's not fair for it to go to her DC, or even be split equally between the 5 of them.

OP - if you had one DC and DH had four, what would you be proposing should happen to the business?

My DMiL had this. As soon as her DSD knew she had a nest egg she was visiting her DDad regularly. Her DBs visited but without the hints! They'd ignored him for 15 years.
When my DH's DSDad died, his DD started again but it was too late because my DMiL had dementia so couldn't change the will.
My DH and his DBros did agree to the proceeds from the sale of his car going to his DC and they said if the DC agree to helping fund their DM's Care Hone Fees then they would share if anything was left!
Not heard a peep since!

His 50% of the business should go to her, she doesn't have siblings with her dad to share it with. If the business is split equally between 5, then the house should be as well.

I think your DH needs to be clear what he wants to happen with any assets he still has when he dies, on the assumption they have not had to be used to pay for care.

For the sake of harmony, once this is decided and the wills in place, he would be doing his daughter a service to explain his thought process to her, but if he prefers, he could write an explanatory letter to be placed with the will.

Stepdaughter is ill-mannered to be asking and sounds grabby, but he bears a responsibility in that, and shirking the hard conversation is not fair to her or you.

I think it's only fair leave his 50% to her if business is still going and if not his money will go to who he wants. The business is only worth money whilst its running, if its not running its not worth much.
No he has not paid into this house, he did spend money doing the garden, but not sure if it helped increased in value or not.

Any inheritance should come from her father - not you.

You don’t say how much money was left after the sale of his house but this is where any inheritance should come from.

If the money is spent, perhaps he could set up a trust fund for her or his grandchildren and start putting money away.

I wouldn’t be giving her shares in the business as that could open up a minefield of problems.

He needs to leave a clean lump sum with no claims on your business or house.

I think you need to think more carefully op before running down to the lawyer.

"Thank you for confirming it for me."

A biased, quick, Internet comment is not necessarily accurate confirmation of anything! They are agreeing with what you want to do. I could also say you are a bit grabby or entitled by angling your husband's contribution towards your kids own inheritance, along with your parents and your own house while she gets very little. Sounds like she has young kids, she might work more when they're older.

Or perhaps OP and her DH will do what they like with their own money. It doesn’t need to be fair. He was and is free to leave his half to his daughter - he doesn’t want to so has chosen not to.

OP would possibly propose her child gets half in your scenario, as her husband could have chosen to do. What she would do doesn’t need to be what her husband would do, or vice versa.

I think you are being really unfair to suggest she should only get 20% of the business. The house she would have inherited was sold and the proceeds put into the business but now you want your children to inherit not only your share of the business but most of your husband's share too.

You are effectively saying that as she said she would not share her dad's house she deserves to be punished now. That is ridiculous. You and your husband caused this problem in the first place. She can't control what happens to an estate, that is up to those making the will.

Whilst your assets, such as your house as long as your husband is not contributing to it, should go to your children. Equally all your husband's assets should go to his daughter.

Joint assets should be split between all the children.

DH sold his house as it was a money pit. If DSD was so concerned about having his house, she should have taken the house on herself and let him sign it over to her.
As it was, the house was sold as neither you nor DH were inclined to keep throwing money at it especially if the tenants were poor at paying or just not treating the property well. Being a landlord is not easy whether accidentally or intentionally. So why not invest proceeds as DH with an eye to his future? It was his money to do with as he chose not his DSDs.
DSD sounds very grabby if not a little lazy. She could easily work more hours to improve the business especially if she is hopeful or adamant that she will inherit your DHs' share. It is not a given that anyone will inherit anything (and it certainly isn't a god given right!) - the business could possibly fail and she would have nothing anyway. Not that I'm saying the business is heading that way - it is just different scenarios. You and DH may need care yourself in your later years - who knows? Maybe DH could hand over his share of the business to her and then take a wage so he still has an income at least until retirement then all those coffees can be enjoyed at leisure. DSD could later purchase your part of the business but I have the feeling she is expecting it all to be given to her on a plate. She's has a rude awakening coming however you decide to plan your future and your wills!!

You absolutely should make sure the step daughter gets all her father's assets when he dies. Anything else would be wrong and unfair. How would you like it if you died first and he disinherited your kids?

What she has or hasn't said or how many hours she works is completely irrelevant. I can't believe you're basing your decision on the fact she works 15 hours???

And it may have been tactless to say so but I don't see what's wrong with her not wanting to share her inheritance with your kids, you obviously aren't wanting to share your kids inheritance with her, in fact you're talking about going one step further and doing her out of her father's estate too.

Really she ought to get half the business plus an extra amount to cover the extra her father put in from the house sale. She should get that money when he dies and not when you die. Anything less would be greed on your part

DSD sounds like a grabby little cow. I’d get a solicitor to nail the specifics in your will pronto.

OP please leave DSD something in your will otherwise you could be leaving a problem for your 4 children. The only winners then will be solicitors

Where does the money from the business currently go? How old are your DC?

DH’s share of the business should go to his daughter, as you are leaving everything to your children and not including DSD. Either that, or all 5 children get an equal share.

My teen DD has a friend who's parents divorced a few years ago. Poor kid, it was badly handled by all the grown ups, and it really was life changing for a tween at the time.
Over the years I've heard a lot about what's going on and how she feels about it. Mostly I hear it from the point of view of a naive ten year old in a 18year old body.
She truly believes she will grow up, inherit the grandparents house and live there forever. Her brother four years younger doesn't feature, nor do the subsequent step kids. It's always like hearing her, at ten, grasping hold of the only bit of stability in her life and of course she's the oldest, she'll get the house because what would a six year old do!
The damage that was done to that kid years ago can never be undone but she really is a little time machine taking me back to when her parents first split up.