Should I include her in my will?

[Sillysausage76]

I got with DH over 15 years ago. I have 4 DC and he has 1. When we meet he moved into my house as its bigger. He rented his house out (dsd lived with her bf and child). DSD always made it clear his house was her inheritance and she wouldn't consider sharing it, fair enough. DH house turned into a money pit and so he sold it, not making much, he did put money into the business as have I. My house increased drastically in value. Me and dh have a joint pot so to speak but my house and assets will go to my 4 dc, dsd won't be left as much, she now wants every split equally. This isn't going to happen, my parents are also still alive and as long as no care fees needed I will inherite from them. Is it unfair not to include her in my will? She has never really accepted me but I don't think bad of her, she was spoilt as a child. She won't inherite from her mum or bf parents.

I wouldn't sell mine to raise money for a business, it doesn't make financial sense to be honest, I'd raise it separately, if you keep that property rented you will have a huge asset worth a lot of money at the end of it, if you sell it now, you may make a little bit of money, a fraction of what you would get for it long term, but it will soon be absorbed into a business, which is what has happened, a massive opportunity for your children's future wasted IMO.

OP hasn't sold her house for this very reason, because that is her children's future and not to be touched, they could have both sold their houses, pooled the money together to buy a new house together and use the leftover proceeds to start a business, OP hasn't done that because she wants to ringfence her own asset for her children (completely understandable), but that means DH has liquidated his house to finance a business which may not be worth anything (totally depends what it is of course) and I would have thought OP would be a bit more understanding as to why her step daughter feels like she's been disregarded in all that decision making and that's because she completely has., everything has been done with OPs children in mind and nothing has been done with DHs child in mind.. but who's fault is that? His of course, he's let her down badly.

I agree with this! He sold his house and has lived for years in the ops, knowing it is ring fenced. He then put the money he did have into a joint business venture. He’s very foolish. Not only has he left himself pretty vulnerable in the case of a divorce, he hasn’t considered his dc.

If you die first and the whole business goes to your hubby then she in theory would later inherit the whole business?

Possibly because it seems she doesn’t want to work - she works fifteen hours a week and BF works 25. OP has said she can work in the business but doesn’t want to. Why should she benefit when she’s had no input ?

This sounds like her father's decision to make, not yours, and definitely not yours alone.

He used the inheritance he intended for his daughter (proceed of his house sale) and invested it in your joint business. What discussions were had at the time about ring-fencing her intended inheritance?

On the face of it, at least that invested amount, plus interest, should be set aside from the sale of the business, solely for his daughter, before the remainder of the business is divided equally between all 5 children.

Unless his intentions have changed? In which case he, aided by you, are intentionally cutting her out of a large portion of the will.

If the sexes were reversed, there would be red flags raised about a male partner who diverted his new woman's assets from her child's inheritance to instead benefit him and his 4 children.

I also think the 'your not dead yet .. the grabby cow!' responses miss the mark. If she does not make her voice heard while you are in a position to take her views into account, she will be left without grounds or resources to change the outcome.

He chose to sell 🤷🏻‍♀️

That he hasn’t done what OP did is on him. He didn’t and doesn’t have to, it’s his own money to decide what he wants to do with. Him choosing not to ring fence his assets like OP isn’t OP’s problem, and the stepdaughter isn’t owed compensation from her.

She isn’t entitled to change the outcome, or to have a say at all. Her dad’s assets aren’t, and never have been, hers. She’s not entitled to an inheritance.

So your DH sold his house that she would have inherited and invested all the money in your joint business. It would be fair if when DH passes the money he invested plus interest goes to his daughter. It's unfair to totally cut her out.

Because inheritance is not conditional on how many hours you work?! Inheritance is inheritance.

Also, nobody here has any idea of her circumstances- at what age did she have children, how old they are, do they have special needs, her personal relationship with her Mother or Father… we know nothing! So you cannot just write her out of the will.

Unless OP and her DH are in a country where he cannot disinherit her, and they don’t appear to be, he absolutely can decide not to include her in his will.

Inheritance is conditional upon whether someone is able and willing to leave you one.

I think it’s down to the DH to leave money for his DD in his will.

HE can decide. Not her Step-mother.

This is you changing the goalposts. If your kids get 100% of your assets your DHs daughter should get 100% of his and that's 50% of the business.

As previously stated, I've decided she will inherite 100% of the business, that way she'll have a income. I will also make sure she has the right advice when the time is right for the business

I am so surprised about the grabby comments. Surely it is normal for parents to pass down their money to their decendants? I expect to inherit, with my siblings, if there is money left over after care needs from my parents. I want my assets to go down to my children.

I am judging your husband for not considering her. You made sure to ring fence your pre-marriage assets for your kids. He sold his and instead of investing, or leaving in a bank, put it into a business that has no value to sell on. She should get the value of half of the business and any personal money or assets he has. This just sounds like yet another man that prioritises the family of his next wife over his biological children.

I am really glad that you have decided to try and build a better relationship with her, so wish you well.

I think people are struggling with the whole "I'VE decided" - where is DH in this?

In any scenario, her father's original investment in the business, plus interest, should be ring-fenced for DSD, taken off the top.

Whatever's left after that is a 50/50 split between you and DH. His to his daughter, IF that's what HE wishes. Yours between all 5, or just to your own 4, or solely to DSD, however YOU wish.

You're not doing DSD a favour. Her intended inheritance has funded your business, which has benefited you and your children for many years. Any work DSD does for the business is hopefully recompensed by a regular wage.

Freedom of speech.. she can tell her father how she feels... why would she not? She may not have worded it very well... laying claim to OPs house... but I stand by my position.. any potential inheritance she had as been put into the business and has been consumed while the inheritance of the ops children has been protected.. if her Dad has not protected her inheritance, why not try to communicate to the op that it feels inequitable.

Lol. Freedom of speech does not mean the right to a say.

Why not try and communicate that to OP? Because it’s not OP’s problem.

Once his house was sold he never had much. The business is worth money just not as much as it could be, this could change in future. I was lucky with my house, my ex dh signed it over to me and his parents left me a chunk. As I stated were leave her the business and I'll leave the grandchildren some money.

That ‘should’ only happen if that’s what her father wants, given that it’s his money. It isn’t what he wants though.

’Intended’ counts for nothing. Minds and circumstances can change.

What sticks out to me is that if you want his and your children to have a relationship once you're gone you're putting an obstacle in the way as she will feel short changed and there may be conflict.

No one is owed anything in inheritances really and it's all so unsure (especially if you end up paying for care) so in some ways all the focus on it is unhelpful. In her position I would feel less loved though because she is being treated differently and she may feel her father hasn't protected her interests

I can honestly say I don't think their ever be any relationship between her and my kids, I tried when mine were younger but she made it clear she didn't want it and now 3 of mine are adults,and they can't be bothered. She also doesn't have a relationship with her mums step kids.
Their was never much money to protect from the sale of his house

As I stated were leave her the business

I can't help thinking that that's the worst of all possible outcomes. What does she know about the business - what it does, how to run it, the legal side of business, accounts? She's already declined to get involved with it. And she's pretty clear she doesn't want to work more than 15 hours a week.

It seems to me that if you go with that 'solution' then you may as well put the business in your coffin with you. Leave her some money.

She doesn't have to be active in the business, she can just have profits. But this will all be discussed with her, DH, solicitor, accountant and anyone else who's needed