To wonder how I’m perceived as a bigger woman after the previous thread?

[Threecactusplants]

After reading the previous thread about weight and how posters are always thinking about their weight (even when they are size 10 or 12!) which to me is crazy.
I used to be very slim as a child, in my teens and early 20s.
Since having my son I have ended up at a size 20/22. I am consistently that size and have been since he was born 6 years ago.
I don’t know exactly how much I weigh , but it’s around 16 stone and I’m 5’7.
I’m pretty comfortable with my weight, I don’t really think about it much. I don’t think I’m unattractive and I dress for my size. Lots of cord pinafore dresses, tights and boots are my go to. Also wide leg trousers, midi dresses and skirts. I have good boobs and a (big) bum 😂 I have a c section pouch which I’m not keen on, but that’s what comes with a 9lb baby I guess! My DH and I have great sex (sorry if TMI!)

After reading that thread, I’m wondering what people think of me when they see me around, for example I’m in a cafe now, having a coffee and a breakfast. It never bothered me before much; but after reading that thread I’m pretty taken aback!

?

I would notice you, but in a positive way, as it sounds like I'd like your style. I'm very intetested in clothes/style/fabric etc, so I'm always on the lookout! When I was very slim, I'd notice other slim women whose dress sense I liked. Now I'm a bit larger, I tend to notice other women my size, or larger, if I like their style.

I am going to be totally honest. I do judge people on their weight - being heavily overweight is an unhealthy lifestyle choice. Like smoking, drinking, eating junk food.

I technically have to notice other people's weight as I coach RDA (Riding for the Disabled) and for horse welfare reasons our centre has a maximum weight of 11 and a half stone. We have lost two riders in my session this year as they can no longer do the weight and I can only see this happening more often sadly.

I've started riding regularly again in middle age, and the place where I go has a limit of 13 stone. Not all of their horses will take top weight, so the lighter you are the more choice you have.

So when I see large people I think "what a shame, they couldn't go riding". Of course I know most people aren't into horses, but when you've been a pony-mad kid it's how you see the world....

I'd notice your size and usually not think much of it. Sometimes I do see someone v big and think they are so unhealthy and will really regret it. I don't judge or think less of them.

However don't fool yourself, that is a very unhealthy weight and you will regret it down the line. It will cause more and more issues as you get older.

I have a relative who is obese because of a tumour on her brain. There is nothing she can do to lose the weight, nothing. I feel so bad for her because I can see how hard her life is because of it.

What a stupid thing to say. Are people with chronic illnesses supposed to mope around on a daily basis and never feel happy? You have no idea how you'd feel if you had CF (and should think yourself lucky about that).

I like to see people wearing bright or nicely co-ordinated colours, and I love sparkle and crystals, but it's not up to anyone else to wear stuff that pleases me! As for weight, I'd probably notice if you're over 30 stone or under 5, otherwise it just looks normal to me. I hope people judge me by the same standards.

You said that much better than I could. Thank you.

I have trouble believing those posters who claim not to notice other people's weight. Really? Human beings are social animals, noticing everything about other people is what we do.

Honestly I think some people are being quite disingenuous here. I don't blame people, some thoughts just belong inside people's heads and have no reason to surface, not even on a thread like this. I think it's human nature to judge, have a somewhat critical inner voice, one you even argue with to an extent, but not one you'd ever verbalise, but think this thread is very unlikely to be the reality.

It's unlikely that I'd pay enough attention to a random in a cafe to notice anything about their appearance. Maybe if you were 8 foot tall or wearing only a thong or something, but a size 20 isn't sufficiently unusual that it would be likely to register by itself iyswim.

If I saw you in the street, I wouldn't notice you. Most people are overweight. I'm sure you don't stand out.
If you were my friend, of course I'd notice, just as I'd notice your hair colour and eye colour and height. I'm sure I wouldn't think anything of it. I have many overweight friends, colleagues and family members. I just see them as them.
I only have one friend whose weight I think about. Not in a judgemental way but in genuine concern. She's only 40 and is morbidly obese. She already has heart problems, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes so yes...I do wish she'd lose weight because I don't want her to die young.

Several people have asked which thread and have been ignored. So i'll ask again WHICH THREAD please?

@Fluffywalrus To be clear, my personal view differs and I would not normally discuss women's bodies unless they have put themselves forward as these women have done. All are attractive women. But I suspect that only a couple of the women would be described as 'slim' if they were photographed by a paparazzo on the beach, as celebrities so often are. So often people are surprised and exclaim at how 'tiny' celebrities are when they meet them in the flesh - Geri Horner springs to mind. It's a harsh and very critical public sphere.

In the meantime, I could so do with something dark-chocolatey and pastry-ish! But. I. Won't!

I haven't read the full thread but this struck a chord with me!
I'm very slim and the only one who is in my close friendship group.
I'm aware that I'm much slimmer than my friends (mostly because they remind me!) but I'm so preoccupied with my own (significant!) hang ups, that I'm totally unaware of their size mostly and never really notice it unless they are being self critical!

I'm like this, I could describe people and their style/size/shape but it doesn't bother me except where it looks like they are uncomfortable (e.g. some people with BMI of 30-32ish or bigger are striding up hills, cycling or jogging, in the pool doing Aqua Fit, others seem to be struggling with walking).

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5203402-how-much-does-your-sizeweight-bother-you?page=5&reply=139594196
To those asking what thread, I'm assuming its this one

I am a size 10-12 and care about my weight (well not so much weight but more the shape of my body) but I couldn't really care less about anyone else's. Yes I would notice but certainly wouldn't judge anyone I didn't know.

I couldn't care less what size another person is. If they were Uber morbidly obese they'd be bedbound so I wouldn't see them. Anyone who's out and about and seeming like they can move ok I wouldn't have any opinion of.

If someone looked like they were struggling to walk or in pain or didn't have the correct mobility aid then I'd feel sympathy. And ask if they needed help.

I suffer from anorexia and that doesn't reflect on me wishing other people to be dangerously underweight. I know I'm not well. I wish to see people looking happy and healthy, moving freely, without pain, at whatever size.

So when I see large people I think "what a shame, they couldn't go riding". Of course I know most people aren't into horses, but when you've been a pony-mad kid it's how you see the world....

Do you think this about most blokes then? 11 and half stone must be less than most adult men weigh. I'm not having a go - I know it must sound a bit snide - just genuinely confused by the idea you eye everyone up and decide whether they are over or under 11.5 stone. It sounds bonkers.

I don’t think I’d notice you as a stranger. If you were a colleague, I might see you as a large person, but that’s it.

I generally like my body, my face and the way I look in general but I’ve never had much trouble staying slim. I was a 6-8 up until my mid-late 20s It did become easier for me to put weight on in my 30s but I’ve never gone above a 12. I think I look overweight at a size 12, my BMI tips over 25 at that size so by that measure I am overweight. It doesn’t look good on me. If I’m completely honest, I do negatively judge anyone over a size 14 (or equivalent when it comes to men). I think being overweight has been way too normalised. So yes, I would probably think some unflattering things about your size OP, I’m afraid. I don’t believe all the people here who say they wouldn’t. Also maybe relevant to mention I grew up in a house where my mum would regularly criticise the weight and looks of people she saw on the street, on TV, in magazines etc, and was obsessed that she was too fat. I’ve never had the body hang ups she had, but it was normalised for me to talk negatively about other people’s looks

I think you having been exposed to so much of that is going to mean you're out of step with people who haven't. I can well believe that people who grew up in the kind of environment you're talking about would be likely to notice and think negatively of a random passing fat person. But a lot of us have just never had that sort of experience or exposure.

I think people are judged on their weight , wrongly skinny people are treated better I have been bigger and thin and there is a difference to how you are treated by strangers.

my however if you’re happy with weight that’s fab and good for you life is too short to worry about other’s opinions . As PP said if it affecting your health then maybe that’s a sign that loosing a little weight would be beneficial but only you can decide that.

I do notice sometimes but culturally Asians and I mean East Asians are judgemental about weight. I’m probably not as bad as some but it’s very rare to see a Chinese, Korean, Japanese or other East Asian person overweight. It’s seen as unacceptable.

It’s just very bad for your health in every way. That’s the issue it’s become too normalised for people to notice people are overweight. But their internal organs know.

UK food is very carb heavy and also the attitude to alcohol which is just empty calories is very different from how I was raised.