To wonder how I’m perceived as a bigger woman after the previous thread?

[Threecactusplants]

After reading the previous thread about weight and how posters are always thinking about their weight (even when they are size 10 or 12!) which to me is crazy.
I used to be very slim as a child, in my teens and early 20s.
Since having my son I have ended up at a size 20/22. I am consistently that size and have been since he was born 6 years ago.
I don’t know exactly how much I weigh , but it’s around 16 stone and I’m 5’7.
I’m pretty comfortable with my weight, I don’t really think about it much. I don’t think I’m unattractive and I dress for my size. Lots of cord pinafore dresses, tights and boots are my go to. Also wide leg trousers, midi dresses and skirts. I have good boobs and a (big) bum 😂 I have a c section pouch which I’m not keen on, but that’s what comes with a 9lb baby I guess! My DH and I have great sex (sorry if TMI!)

After reading that thread, I’m wondering what people think of me when they see me around, for example I’m in a cafe now, having a coffee and a breakfast. It never bothered me before much; but after reading that thread I’m pretty taken aback!

@Threecactusplants I love being around "bigger" women who feel secure in their bodies. I can't explain why. It has nothing to do with me feeling skinnier in comparaison, I'm happy with my weight and wouldn't like to loose or gain. I remember at nursery as a small child, there was one "bigger" woman and I always went to her when I was sad. It was something recomforting with her softness I think and still today I much prefer hugging my "bigger" friends than the skinny ones. But it's really weird so I wouldn't dream of saying this out load.

And the interesting thing about that photo is that even the two women who are the same height, weight and BMI look very different in terms of body fat.

Why do people always wonder this?

I'm slim with a healthy BMI and a flabby menopausal stomach.

Even before I hit my mid fifties and my stomach went to pot, I never 'thought' anything about people who were fatter or slimmer than me.

I think you'll find most people are too busy with their own lives to care about strangers bodies.

I’m the same !! And think most people are tbh !
we are our own worst critics!!!

I might notice but I wouldn't think anything about it

At an old job I walked in on some colleagues watching a soap. Every sentence was
"God she looks awful"
"Hasn't she aged"
"That top is rank"
"No wonder he ditched her"

I made a decision then I didn't want to be that person so every time I start to think something negative about someone I force myself to change it to a compliment in my head

Now all my thoughts are neutral or positive because I didn't want to give headspace to so much negativity about people I don't even know when there's better things I can do with my time

Yeah me too.

Also I just squeezed into my car (on the left) with a six inch gap. There were no other cars on either side when I parked (properly!) this morning. The passenger side was even worse. So I can't be that big. And I had a short fitted skirt on, it wasn't pretty but I made it! 😵

This. Most of us judge ourselves by a high standard but not others. I honestly don't think anything when I see overweight people, it's so common now.

Everyone is overweight. I don't think about it tbh, unless they're actively making themselves obvious. Which is their right - girls in crop tops and leggings that don't fit, etc. I can't not notice that.

It's normal. I'm a size 6 and have been for yonks but if I spent all my life judging others, I'd be bored. Are they happy? Good. That's all I'm arsed about. Most healthy minded people don't give a shit.

To be fair that looks more like a foot and i could get in there and I’m an 18-20!

It's not a foot. It is eight inches at most. Even getting my work bag in wasn't easy. The car door obviously took up space also when it was open

What was the other thread?

I might notice in the same way I might notice someone’s hair but wouldn’t care (nothing to do with me).

I would t judge anyone on their size, but from your description, and to answer your question, I would most certainly say you’re a ‘bigger woman’.
Fab and beautiful no doubt. But no denying that is a large size.

I was looking at this lady in the waiting room of the doctors today. She was a big lady, really nicely dressed and accessories etc. Gorgeous hair and face/smile. I think it’s more about self care. I notice more if someone looks uncared for, bit scruffy. The lady I saw today was double my size but she honestly looked stunning. I guess health comes into too as you get older.

I think back in the day when the average BMI was lower overweight people did stand out as they were in the minority. However these days there is so much more diversity in people’s shapes and sizes that in general you don’t give anyone else’s weight a second thought.

Isnt it only the tall lady who is a normal bmi?

4 years ago I lost 7 stone. Then I gained 1 back. And recently I've lost another 2.5 stone. My weight is now 10 st, size 10 and I've never been more paranoid/obsessed with it than I am right now! I hoped once I was slim my worries would all disappear.

I notice others and the imagine the difficulty they will have in the future if they maintain a high BMI. Regardless of what they believe -- their health is suffering now.
Add on I'm in the US and have my scale set to kg. 54.5 BMI 20+.

Welcome to the fresh hell of dreading going back to being fat... 😔

I would love to be 70kg and would be a size 10 at 5'7" at that weight. Would definitely look slim. I wouldn't want to be slimmer than that now at 49.

DD2 is 70kg and 5'10 and is a size 8.

It is not only about looking good or having great sex, if you are a size 20/22 you are most likely obese/morbidly obese depending on your height, this will have negative health effects and reduce your mobility specially when you are a bit older regardless on how good you look on your outfits... saying that I don't think most people will think twice about a strangers weight...it's you who should be doing something about it.

People who stare at others with a negative viewpoint as usually insecure, bitter, and jealous...and sometimes hangry.

May get flamed for this....

I do sometimes feel sorry for very obese people as (based on my own slightly messed up thinking) I feel like they may feel unhappy or helpless and I think about how hard it must be having to squeeze into seats or carry all that weight as you go upstairs or up a hill.

That's normally when someone is not carrying it well and doesn't look very happy though.

If you look good with it I would probably just notice you look good and maybe be impressed by you achieving that (as I never feel like I look good when I feel myself to be overweight).

I wouldn’t look at a woman of the size you describe yourself and think anything about your weight. I’d probably notice your clothes and think you looked very cool.

I haven't read the thread, I'm a size 12 and 9.10/10 stone I vary. I'm happy enough and I know I cut eat healthier if I wanted to and I could exercise more. I used to be a size 8 then a 10 after my children now the weight I am. I think we all have our hang ups. I do feel for really big ladies with the prolapse but never comment.