DH complaining about look after kids

[Mellowblue]

DH complaining about looking after kids.

I am a SAHM with 3 children in primary school. I have recently joined a few evening classes / clubs for the sake of my sanity and to keep my brain from turning into mush.
I am out two nights a week: 6 till 8 one night and 6 till 9 another night.

DH has become very resentful about me being away from home for these two nights because he needs to spend the evenings looking after the children.

Although, I can see his point, he still has 3 days a week when I am home and I don’t think 2 evenings for myself is a particularly big imposition on him. I am taking these courses with friends , so it’s not possible to them during the day.

Side with your DH here. You don’t do anything beyond that which people who are employed do, as all your kids are at primary. all the cooking and cleaning gets done by those in employment too - you’ve got quite a lot of down time.

As such you’ve a huge chunk of the day on your own timeline, not being dictated by littles.

when you see your friends why not go out after the kids are in bed so you can help with getting them down as 3 is a big juggle.

seems unfair he works full time, manages the kids on two nights to then log back on AND do 80% household chores at the weekends.

You do 80% household chores weekdays, don’t work at all and have 5 x per week to get yourself organised and still get two nights with mates.

If this was a woman asking this question in reverse everyone would say the man needs to pull his weight more.

But they’re in full time school?

Why does he have to do 80% on weekends? Surely it should be 50/50. To be fair, if you don’t work and kids are in school you should be going 100% or if I was your other half I’d be. Saying get a job!! You have all day to your self, two nights a week to your self and on a weekend your other half works all week and has to do the majority of the house work! Yep your taking the piss lol

It’s about balance isn’t it? There’s not a right and wrong as such but your husband seems to be trying to communicate with you that things feel a bit out of balance to him. Hopefully that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t take your classes but try to find other ways of addressing the balance - eg taking some of his 80% of chores at the weekend, or maybe his job is overwhelming and you could take some part time work so he can reduce his hours/ need for evening work.

Side note - absolutely no idea why I think I can give this advice - I don’t have the balance right at all 🤣