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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - husband combative about ultrasound

174 replies

oowasurviva · 04/11/2024 13:22

I’ve had ongoing low-grade pain in my lower right abdomen. Didn’t think much of it, but I’m travelling abroad for a week soon and given I rolled over the other morning and found myself in severe (temporary) pain as a result I decided to get some scans.

The above is largely irrelevant when it comes to my question as I don’t think it really matters what the situations is. I’m prepared to be told otherwise.

Husband knows I’ve had this ongoing pain. I told him I have a scan tomorrow for the pain as I am trying to rule out appendicitis ahead of my trip.

He snorts and says “You’d know if it was appendicitis. You’d be in agony.”

I said I didn’t know about that but I was checking to be sure. Obviously it could be something else. Or nothing at all!

He then proceeded to tell me the pneumonia that hospitalised me (before we met) was highly suspect as I had told him it was some of the worst pain I’d ever experienced. He said there are no pain cells (think he meant receptors) in the lungs so I can’t have been any pain. I’m completely unsure why he brought this up - especially as he wasn’t even in the picture when this happened - and what this has to do with a seemingly routine check to rule out appendicitis. For the record I was in hospital for a couple of weeks with pneumonia. For the record, when it hit I was in serious pain.

I don’t even think this matters. WTF is he on about and what is his problem? I’m hardly writhing about in pain and asking for his help. I’m just getting a bloody scan to be on the safe side ahead of my trip. AIBU?

OP posts:
UnhealthyCopingStrategies · 04/11/2024 13:24

He sounds like an arse! Any chance you're pregnant and it's ectopic? Guess the scan would rule that out too?

Hope they get to the bottom of it and you have a great trip.

LoveSandbanks · 04/11/2024 13:25

He’s a tosser. I was diagnosed with mild pneumonia and my doctor was incredulous when he asked “do you not have any pain?” Pneumonia is known to
be very painful.

I bet he’s a huge baby when he’s poorly.

oowasurviva · 04/11/2024 13:26

Highly unlikely I’m pregnant given the man’s general daily (and nightly) attitude 💩

But thanks for your input.

OP posts:
DemonicCaveMaggot · 04/11/2024 13:27

He sounds like a jackass. You certainly don't want to risk apendicitis on a trip and recurring pain does need to be investigated.

I had pleurisy and that thing feels like you're having a heart attack so bollocks to him talking about no pain receptors around the lungs.

oowasurviva · 04/11/2024 13:27

He’s a total baby, @LoveSandbanks. Nurses give him jellybeans as a reward for his vaccinations. No one is EVER suffering more than him.

OP posts:
UnhealthyCopingStrategies · 04/11/2024 13:29

Probably for the best as he doesn't sound like good father/supportive partner material!

yeesh · 04/11/2024 13:29

He sounds like an utter dickhead

Comedycook · 04/11/2024 13:29

I could be totally wrong but any chance he's worried it could be an std?

HomeTheatreSystem · 04/11/2024 13:30

Some men get very weird when their partner might be / or is ill and requires support and attention. Tell him you are not discussing your body with him anymore and he can fuck off with his shitty know-it-all attitude.

Comedycook · 04/11/2024 13:30

Or of course he could just be a plain old unsympathetic arse.

TeenLifeMum · 04/11/2024 13:30

NHS says pneumonia symptoms include chest pain https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pneumonia/

What an arse. Hopefully the scan will give you the all clear and you can focus on a plan to free yourself of his opinions.

nhs.uk

Pneumonia

Find out about pneumonia, including what the symptoms are, where to get medical help, what the treatments are, what causes it and how to prevent it.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pneumonia

WickedlyCharmed · 04/11/2024 13:30

Of course pneumonia causes pain. What a strange thing for him to bring up.

Is he one of those men that hates his partner getting ill because it means he might have to do a bit of housework, cooking, looking after them, etc? One of those men that unfailingly comes down with some kind of illness whenever you’re sick?

He sounds like a massive arse tbh.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 04/11/2024 13:31

It sounds as though he thinks you're a drama llama for some reason?

HomeTheatreSystem · 04/11/2024 13:32

Dump him: this attitude might seem like a mild annoyance right now but if you ever are seriously unwell or post partum, he will make you feel ten times worse.

Wibblywobblybobbly · 04/11/2024 13:33

Why are you with this idiot?

babasaclover · 04/11/2024 13:33

Well, he sounds like a delight

Definitely do get checked out though I had appendicitis with no pain whatsoever so you definitely don't need to be in agony, my only signs were throwing up what looked like Blood I went and had an x-ray and ultrasound and they admitted me there and then

Good luck, whatever it is

LetGoLetThem1234 · 04/11/2024 13:34

He sounds horrible. Are there any redeeming aspects to his personality?

I learnt a hard lesson regarding what life is like living with a man who has no compassion when you're sick. Lack of empathy is a death knell in a relationship.

LifeExperience · 04/11/2024 13:34

Selfish men don't like their partner being ill because they're expected to give support to her instead of vice versa. You've got yourself a belittling, self-centered man-child.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 04/11/2024 13:35

Oh I just knew he'd be the sort to get everything worse than anyone else. He probably doesn't like the thought of you being ill because he might have to step up and actually care for you.

Lurkingandlearning · 04/11/2024 13:36

Nurses give him jellybeans as a reward for his vaccinations

Words fail me. LTB and find yourself a grown up.

PollyPut · 04/11/2024 13:38

It's not impossible that you have some kind of grumbling appendix which could flare up into appendicitis. I think you are wise to be checked, especially if you are travelling somewhere with lower levels of medical care available

But bear in mind that you need to declare these tests to your travel insurer and check you are still covered to travel. You might need to pay a premium to be covered for this trip.

Mudflaps · 04/11/2024 13:39

He is a prick, pure and simple. And he's wrong, I went to the doctor with an upset stomach and was sent straight to hospital with appendicitis, the surgeon was waiting at the door when I arrived, it was that close to bursting. I'd no pain until just before they rolled me into theatre. I wonder would he contradict a man regarding the pain he was experiencing?

Silvers11 · 04/11/2024 13:39

When I had pneumonia I was in terrible pain. So much so that the medics in A &E and I all thought initially that I was having a heart attack !! Took a few hours before it was realised that no heart attack. Pneumonia which resulted in a hospital stay in ICU

ilovedogsme · 04/11/2024 13:41

I had lower abdominal pain on my right side, it got that bad a rolled over one morning (about 3am) and shouted in pain. I was laid there thinking my appendix had burst, I got up and went straight to A&E, expecting them to keep me in - turned out to be a sever water infection!

Have they checked you for a water infection? I was so convinced it was my appendix

Fraaahnces · 04/11/2024 13:43

Kick him in the balls and tell him there’s no pain receptors in his brain.