AIBU - husband combative about ultrasound

[oowasurviva]

I’ve had ongoing low-grade pain in my lower right abdomen. Didn’t think much of it, but I’m travelling abroad for a week soon and given I rolled over the other morning and found myself in severe (temporary) pain as a result I decided to get some scans.

The above is largely irrelevant when it comes to my question as I don’t think it really matters what the situations is. I’m prepared to be told otherwise.

Husband knows I’ve had this ongoing pain. I told him I have a scan tomorrow for the pain as I am trying to rule out appendicitis ahead of my trip.

He snorts and says “You’d know if it was appendicitis. You’d be in agony.”

I said I didn’t know about that but I was checking to be sure. Obviously it could be something else. Or nothing at all!

He then proceeded to tell me the pneumonia that hospitalised me (before we met) was highly suspect as I had told him it was some of the worst pain I’d ever experienced. He said there are no pain cells (think he meant receptors) in the lungs so I can’t have been any pain. I’m completely unsure why he brought this up - especially as he wasn’t even in the picture when this happened - and what this has to do with a seemingly routine check to rule out appendicitis. For the record I was in hospital for a couple of weeks with pneumonia. For the record, when it hit I was in serious pain.

I don’t even think this matters. WTF is he on about and what is his problem? I’m hardly writhing about in pain and asking for his help. I’m just getting a bloody scan to be on the safe side ahead of my trip. AIBU?

What a dickhead.

I have had mild pneumonia twice, narrowly avoiding hospital stays. I was in significant pain (and I've birthed four children with not even gas and air, do have a pretty high pain tolerance).

I hope your scans come back quickly and you're OK, and ignore the tosspot

Not the point of your post I realise but just be aware that an ultrasound won't necessarily pick up appendicitis. I was hospitalised with suspected appendicitis some years ago and the ultrasound they did in hospital didn't show anything. They operated anyway due to my symptoms and, sure enough, my appendix was inflamed.

I'm just sharing this to say that if your scan is clear but you continue to have pain you should see your GP again, don't assume it can't be your appendix. In my case, I'd been having pains like you describe on and off for a while. I'd ignored it thinking it couldn't be serious as the pain was always short-lived (though sometimes severe) but it then developed into acute appendicitis and I had to present at A&E.

Hope the scan goes well today

Just wondering is he going on the trip with you? If not could be a case of him be jealous so he's causing drama to vent like a baby

There’s a personality type who don’t have any empathy for people who aren’t well, will minimise / ridicule your pain / experiences and in fact will ‘punish’ you if you are. Sounds like you might have one of those on your hands, OP. Sorry 😔

Good luck @oowasurviva.

This is concerning. Why did you marry a six year-old?

Why are you even married to this idiot. Cancel the holiday regardless and make divorce plans

Unless you were paying for a private ultrasound against medical advice ... I can see that's not the case.

Intrigued to know what possible medical qualifications he has to justify doubting your previous medical treatment and your current investigations.

Hope all turns out well

How did you get on? x

As pp have said he's a prick if my dw is in or says she's in pain I would never second guess her ,you arrange appropriate medication or Dr appointment if needed.

He's talking complete bxxxoxks. Obviously read something on the internet about no pain receptors in the body......
Next it'll be chem trails n flat earthers🙄

Please, please do not have children with this man.

Idiot. We're all different - I once had a galloping kidney infection and zero pain (just chills) whereas a friend at Uni called an ambulance when she had the same thing (back when you could actually get one :) )

You are right to get a pain checked out - maybe time to check out your pain of a husband, he sounds awful.

Time for a new husband me thinks. I hope you feel better soon. He sounds horrible.

I'm prone to chest infections. even if the actual lungs don't feel pain, the chest, airways and ribcage muscles DEFINITELY do.

Wow, he sounds like a keeper, NOT!

Hi @oowasurviva

I hope the scan went well and the pain isn’t too serious. How old is your DC? I know it can be hard to leave but I encourage you to get the wheels in motion so your real life (san H) can begin.

I was married to a similar man. Zero empathy which tipped into actually being abusive. When I was pregnant I was very sick every morning for 9 months with both pregnancies. I remember with DC2 about 6 months in, puking my guts out as usual in the bathroom off the hallway. ExH was in the kitchen at the end of the hallway having a coffee and I heard the hallway door shut. When I had finished, I came out and said “why did you shut the door?”

exH: “I’m just so bored of listening to that every morning”.

I’m afraid to say it took another 4.5 years to leave him after that, with 2 kids who were then aged 4.5 and 8 - I’ve never regretted it for a second.

He probably thinks period pain is psychological too.

How are you today @oowasurviva ?

@oowasurviva hey, how did you get on with the scans? Hope you're feeling better 🤗

Sadly, that's how it sounds. No doubt he tells you that any pain you suffer is mostly psychological as well. Unlike his very real, physical pain, of course.

Thanks, all. The phantom pain is still there but nothing showed on the scans, besides a cyst on my ovary that wasn’t there before but they don’t appear to be concerned about. So it’s blood tests and an x-ray next. They’ll have to wait until after the trip. At least it seems my appendix won’t blow up while I’m away so that’s good! AND, I’ll get some distance from the husband so looking forward to that.

What has your travel insurance said?