AIBU - husband combative about ultrasound

[oowasurviva]

I’ve had ongoing low-grade pain in my lower right abdomen. Didn’t think much of it, but I’m travelling abroad for a week soon and given I rolled over the other morning and found myself in severe (temporary) pain as a result I decided to get some scans.

The above is largely irrelevant when it comes to my question as I don’t think it really matters what the situations is. I’m prepared to be told otherwise.

Husband knows I’ve had this ongoing pain. I told him I have a scan tomorrow for the pain as I am trying to rule out appendicitis ahead of my trip.

He snorts and says “You’d know if it was appendicitis. You’d be in agony.”

I said I didn’t know about that but I was checking to be sure. Obviously it could be something else. Or nothing at all!

He then proceeded to tell me the pneumonia that hospitalised me (before we met) was highly suspect as I had told him it was some of the worst pain I’d ever experienced. He said there are no pain cells (think he meant receptors) in the lungs so I can’t have been any pain. I’m completely unsure why he brought this up - especially as he wasn’t even in the picture when this happened - and what this has to do with a seemingly routine check to rule out appendicitis. For the record I was in hospital for a couple of weeks with pneumonia. For the record, when it hit I was in serious pain.

I don’t even think this matters. WTF is he on about and what is his problem? I’m hardly writhing about in pain and asking for his help. I’m just getting a bloody scan to be on the safe side ahead of my trip. AIBU?

Could you talk us through his medical training, qualifications and experience?

I'm convinced that men go into panic denial mode when the domestic appliance threatens to stop working as advertised, in any aspect of its expected role.

The very notion the wifebot may not be functioning properly is inconceivable - and can be taken as a personal affront designed to cause the owner/user as much inconvenience as possible.

Exasperation and complaints about said inconvenience are only to be expected.

Tell him when he has pneumonia he can tell you all about how pain-free it is, but till then he can shut the fuck up.

Don't have children with him
Nothing more enraging than someone sulking that they are much more tired/in pain than you while you are in labour!

Appendicitis pain is often quite mild actually, so he's wrong there.

It sounds to me like what he's actually saying is he thinks you're a hypochondriac, and doesn't want you taking attention and sympathy away from his important man problems.

I am so sorry that he is your husband. Please take care.

No wonder you're sure you're not pregnant. My vag just foreclosed and boarded up the door from just reading that.

WTF is he on about and what is his problem?

I think you should ask him.

Congratulations OP, you've married an arsehole.

Appendicitis does not always mean agony. It didn't for me or one of my children... and they were on the edge of bursting...

Tell him how much higher women's pain threshold is than men's. Then show him YouTube videos of men having period pain simulators put on them. Hopefully that will make him realise that you may have appendicitis, but you are made of tougher stuff than him!

Please get one of those period pain simulators and try it on him, while using the same settings on yourself!

Many men just don't get it because we'll usually plough on through illness and pain, without complaint, whereas they will tell everyone and anyone that will listen. They certainly need to moan less, but perhaps we should also not suffer in silence as much as we do. Then again, we'll probably then be accused of being a drama queen, so can't win.

My DH has seen me unwell, but I've never really moaned too much. Then I injured myself and as well as a broken bone was having really severe and intense muscle spasms that were absolute agony, to the point of yelling and crying at one point (the hospital gave me oramorph and it did bugger all to take the pain away, it was that bad!). He honestly looked terrified because he'd never seen me like it.

He's been a lot better since then in accepting that if I seem ill, I'm probably worse that it appears and he's stopped quite so much of the "woe is me".

So while I really hope you haven't got anything too major going on OP, it would serve as an excellent example of your pain threshold being a lot higher than his would be.

Good lord that is awful. I hope he has many MANY redeeming qualities.

I had appendicitis and thought it was a stitch....

Mine didn't present like usual as my appendix was at the back of the cecum.

Took them 3 days to operate and 3 hours as they had no operating rooms free (multiple accidents) by the time they did it had burst.

So yes I can confirm you can have appendicitis and not know (although I would have argued not possible before it happened to me)

I’m sorry to hear that, @justasking111. There might be something to the mother thing as his mother always fakes or exaggerates illness to get attention. Got a rash? Everyone has to know about it and pray for her. Going to the dentist for a routine check? She’ll need around the clock phone calls. He humours it all without question.

Difference is, he’s known me more than long enough to know I’m not this way. Not remotely.

For those saying it could be an ovarian cyst, the GP also requested an internal ultrasound to rule this out.

OP, honestly leave this shit partner. He doesn’t care about you and this reads like yet another of those depressing threads where a woman has a detestable partner and it makes the reader despair.

Get the medical care you need without a second thought. And dump the selfish man-baby.

It’s a work trip, which is the reason it’s just me going, @Planesmistakenforstars. As for him being upset about me not functioning, I’m functioning just as well as always as the pain isn’t what I would consider bad. Definitely not functioning well in the bedroom, but that’s due to a lack of interest in him after comments like that rather than pain.

He’s told me to take the day off to get the scans, even though I’ve managed to get an appointment at an imaging place near my work about lunchtime. I have no idea what he’s on about. Now he thinks I should take a sick day?

Pneumonia is so bloody painful! Also, ask any doctor, nurse or beautician about the difference between men and women's pain thresholds....and then show him the evidence.

Someone with an actual medical qualification l thinks it's worthy of checking out so your dh is being a twat.

Your husband needs to look up 'grumbling appendix'. You can definitely have something wrong with your appendix on and off for a long time, and it comes complete with intermittent pain.

Don’t tell me-he has no medical training whatsoever?

Have you actually consulted a dr?

it really sounds like you have just booked scans at an imaging place with no consultation or referral?

if my dh had stomach pain and booked himself a scan “to rule out appendicitis” I’d wonder what on earth he was thinking and be worried more about his health anxiety than anything being wrong.

it could be a million other things which could be missed without a complete history.

have you seen a dr and had a physical exam?

have you spoken to travel insurance to make sure you’re covered?

Foe the record, dh said when he had pneumonia it was among the worst pain he'd ever suffered. Every breath felt like inhaling daggers.

He's an arse. Uggh. I'm annoyed on your behalf.

Hope it turns out to be nothing serious and you feel better soon!!

I was hospitalised with extremely fucking painful pneumonia!

He is an actual twat

Mmm is it possible he's just not very bright?
Or is he one of those men who feels he needs to have the last and definitive say on everything despite knowing f-all about it? Meaning he's in much more of a rush to pronounce the Man's Fascinating View Which Everyone Obviously Needs to Hear, than to switch on the lonely brain cell God gave him.