AIBU - husband combative about ultrasound

[oowasurviva]

I’ve had ongoing low-grade pain in my lower right abdomen. Didn’t think much of it, but I’m travelling abroad for a week soon and given I rolled over the other morning and found myself in severe (temporary) pain as a result I decided to get some scans.

The above is largely irrelevant when it comes to my question as I don’t think it really matters what the situations is. I’m prepared to be told otherwise.

Husband knows I’ve had this ongoing pain. I told him I have a scan tomorrow for the pain as I am trying to rule out appendicitis ahead of my trip.

He snorts and says “You’d know if it was appendicitis. You’d be in agony.”

I said I didn’t know about that but I was checking to be sure. Obviously it could be something else. Or nothing at all!

He then proceeded to tell me the pneumonia that hospitalised me (before we met) was highly suspect as I had told him it was some of the worst pain I’d ever experienced. He said there are no pain cells (think he meant receptors) in the lungs so I can’t have been any pain. I’m completely unsure why he brought this up - especially as he wasn’t even in the picture when this happened - and what this has to do with a seemingly routine check to rule out appendicitis. For the record I was in hospital for a couple of weeks with pneumonia. For the record, when it hit I was in serious pain.

I don’t even think this matters. WTF is he on about and what is his problem? I’m hardly writhing about in pain and asking for his help. I’m just getting a bloody scan to be on the safe side ahead of my trip. AIBU?

I’ve had bronchitis that flipping hurt.

He’s an ignoramus.

My pneumonia caused pain in the throat- as if someone was strangling me. So Mr know it all isn’t correct.

I concur with pneumonia being one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever been through. I lived alone at that time so was lucky I was with a friend when what I thought was just a standard cough over a couple of weeks suddenly cane to a head and I went blue and couldn’t breathe. Not painful at all 🙄

For those asking, no I am not self-diagnosing anything. I have been seen by a doctor who urged me to get a scan as soon as I could. I wasn’t aware you could book scans without a referral.

I’ve had pneumonia and pleurisy. Both agony. He sounds just as painful. What does he bring to the relationship?

What are your husband’s good points?

Good question

I'm confused. Your GP urged you to get a scan "as soon as you could", but they did not refer you? Why not? What possible diagnoses were mentioned?

The doctor urged me to get a scan and referred me for a scan. As I said above, I wasn’t aware you could get scans without a referral so I am confused why people think I’ve booked scans in without seeing a GP first. Even more confusing is why, given the story, people seem to be looking for holes in the story when the obvious bad guy isn’t me.

He dislikes you and therefore anything you do is wrong.

Urg. How annoying. Although pneumonia is not usually a very painful condition it is relatively common to got pleuritic pain ( where inflammation causes the membranes covering the lung to stick to each other and rub). This can be excruciating.

Throw this one back op. He thinks his beliefs trump your experiences. He's so arrogant that he is telling you that he knows better than you about your body and things that have happened to you before you even met him. Yuck.

Husband sounds like an unsupportive patronising wanker to be honest. You’re sensible to be taking control of your health. When something feels off, you get it checked. I had an acute appendicitis 4 years ago and I stupidly went all night refusing to go to the hospital despite my husband’s pleas. I was trying to convince myself it was just trapped wind or some kind of bug. By the time I could no longer stand the pain and accepted it was something serious, I was admitted to A&E told if I’d left it much longer it would have ruptured and potentially killed me, so never question yourself and brush it off as nothing even if your husband makes you feel like a hypochondriac. You know your body better than anyone.

He sounds like an arse and yes one of the many things it could be is a grumbling appendix

I still remember the pain of having pleurisy when I was a teenager. It felt like someone was scraping out my lungs from the inside.

@oowasurviva I hope the scans can figure out what is going on. If you are so inclined, let us know how you are doing after the scans.

But you do have a DH problem that needs to be either worked out or changed.

I've had pneumonia and pleurisy, and both were very painful in the lungs/chest. I felt like someone was trying to pull out my lungs through my rib cage. Not fun at all.

Welcome to AIBU…the place where some posters will put the boot in to the OP about anything, just to be contrary. It isn’t you, it happens in most of these threads if they go on for long enough. There was one where people were defending an actual convicted paedophile so there you go.

You'd think that would work with a reasonable adult, wouldn't you. The problem is, it does not. People who act like OPs husband are not reasonable though. If you google it yourself and hold it in front of their eyes, they will turn their head away. If you follow their gaze a present it again, they will pretend to look for maybe two seconds while making it very obvious they're not actually reading it. If you push it, they make storm off or knock your hand away. Whether they are right or wrong in reality is irrelevant because they refuse to be wrong. Looking means the potential acknowledgment of being wrong. I have MUCH experience with this one.

Genuine, repeated many times, occurrence...
Me: Dave, this spoon is still dirty. Can you pass me another one please.
Dave: No it's not. I washed it up so it must be clean.
Me: yes, it is (holds it up to him)
Dave: (looks away) NO, it IS NOT.
Me: Please look at it.
Dave: OKAY...for fuck sake...give it
(snatches it while rolling eyes, storms off in to kitchen muttering under his breath and holding it behind his back, loudly throws it on to the worktop, violently opens drawer, loud angry rummaging)
Me: Did you see the sticky on it.
Dave: Here. HAPPY now??? (Walks off doing one sided smirk and shaking head)

Can't be wrong! Super offended over a fucking spoon! There's been times where I've dipped my napkin slyly in my water to clean it myself if it hasn't been too badly dirty. He will get arse/face ache offended if he even sees that. You see, he, the almighty HE, has washed up and he is perfect (yeah, right), hence the spoon MUST be spotless because HE put it in the sink and swished it about a bit.

Men who refuse to be wrong, refuse to see their wrong. They also get very angry indeed, if you somehow manage to force them to see their imperfection.

I am a health professional. Pneumonia usually has a high grade level of pain.. inspiration and expiration... He sounds like a dork... doesn't know what he's talking about. Ignore him.

Not a doctor, but my own and several people i know who have had appendicitis have had severe vomiting. I know grumbling appendix is different. Gall bladder stones is a thought ( they hurt like a mofo sometimes and then just stop) Liver pain? Sorry not trying to scare you just thinking of other ideas.
I'm sure the ultrasound will have you diagnosed quick smart. Best wishes.

Urine. The stuff is called urine.
It isn't water.it's urine.
You had a urinary tract infection.
Why do grown people use baby words for body parts/functions?

It’s a little old fashioned but it is known way to describe a UTI. I don’t think she needs to be berated for it.

Not sure if it's a grumbling appendix orcthe grumbling husband which is worse. Clearly, the latter needs to be excised from your life, thrown into the clinical waste bin.
Why do you put up with this charmer?

Grown people using childish words...

It’s more the opposite - old fashioned. It is annoying when doctors use the term but not enough to give someone a dressing down for daring to say it.

DD when she was 14 felt unwell and was diagnosed as having a virus. It continued for another few days and I took her back to the doctors - as she was skin and bone - who sent her to hospital. She was in for 24 hours on a drip and they were scratching their heads before they scanned her abdomen and found that she had a sac of poison next to her appendix and she was taken immediately to have her appendix removed. Had she not been admitted to hospital she would almost certainly died. She had no stomach pains that would suggest appendicitis!

I was wondering this too.