AIBU - husband combative about ultrasound

[oowasurviva]

I’ve had ongoing low-grade pain in my lower right abdomen. Didn’t think much of it, but I’m travelling abroad for a week soon and given I rolled over the other morning and found myself in severe (temporary) pain as a result I decided to get some scans.

The above is largely irrelevant when it comes to my question as I don’t think it really matters what the situations is. I’m prepared to be told otherwise.

Husband knows I’ve had this ongoing pain. I told him I have a scan tomorrow for the pain as I am trying to rule out appendicitis ahead of my trip.

He snorts and says “You’d know if it was appendicitis. You’d be in agony.”

I said I didn’t know about that but I was checking to be sure. Obviously it could be something else. Or nothing at all!

He then proceeded to tell me the pneumonia that hospitalised me (before we met) was highly suspect as I had told him it was some of the worst pain I’d ever experienced. He said there are no pain cells (think he meant receptors) in the lungs so I can’t have been any pain. I’m completely unsure why he brought this up - especially as he wasn’t even in the picture when this happened - and what this has to do with a seemingly routine check to rule out appendicitis. For the record I was in hospital for a couple of weeks with pneumonia. For the record, when it hit I was in serious pain.

I don’t even think this matters. WTF is he on about and what is his problem? I’m hardly writhing about in pain and asking for his help. I’m just getting a bloody scan to be on the safe side ahead of my trip. AIBU?

Some people seem to be unable to cope with the idea that anyone else ever has anything wrong and they'll go out of their way to gaslight you out of even the most obvious symptoms. Fuck knows why but in a partner that would give me the ick.

LTB! (Tongue in cheek but really is he always so uncaring??)

He sounds like an arse.

That aside, my Mum had appendicitis and wasn’t in agony until it made her poorly when it burst.

Get the scan!

Your pain is a known symptom of MTATS (Married-to-a-Twat syndrome).
There is a cure for it.

For me, sharp severe pain when rolling over was an ovarian cyst.

Ah, this so reminds me of my husband when I had pain in the same place and I turned up at the doctors, husband having told me I was wasting everyone’s time, to be sent straight to hospital. He was sheepish when he turned up to wait with me.

we sarcastically call him doctor now and he concedes the point admirably.

might be an ovarian cyst op.

My one year old had pneumonia and they gave her a lot of pain relief. She couldn’t say she was in pain so it must be common to be in pain as they wouldn’t give a one year old pain relief for no reason. It’s not like popping a pill

I would have dared him to have said to my dad that he didn’t have any pain, with his terminal lung cancer because of no pain receptors in his lungs.
I worked with someone she was in work til 5 pm on the Friday, suddenly got terribly ill that night her appendix had burst, no previous pain.
I had what turned out to be a strangulating hernia ( didn’t even know I had a hernia) coincidentally I was at the hospital stripped to the waist at 4pm the previous afternoon being given an assessment for a different planned operation and was being checked over by an actual nurse with no signs of anything wrong. I went home and was at work the next day at 10am one episode of agonising pain later up to A&E FOR A SCAN having emergency surgery 8 hrs later.
I would be kneeing in the nads and telling him to stop moaning about the pain.

What do you mean by “get myself some scans”?

have you seen a dr? Do they agree with your thinking and have referred you?

your phrasing sounds like you are diagnosing yourself rather than consulting with medics.

if your dh is contradicting medical advice to get scans etc then he’s a twat.

the main issue I’d have- have you checked whether this impacts your travel insurance? If you have ongoing investigations and don’t tell your insurance before you travel you could well void the policy completely.

When I had appendicitis it was very painful, but I'm not the writhing in pain type, so didn't.

He sounds like divorce material tbh.

I've had appendicitis and it was at first diagnosed as ovarian cysts which I had had previous, by the time the appendicitis was advanced enough for emergency surgery I could barely walk, the pain front and back was so bad and I was vomiting all the time, but to start with it was just a dull ache, so it's sliding scale in my experience, and would affect everyone differently.

He sounds like an arsehole.

On a side note, I wouldn't want to scare you OP, but my mum had bowel cancer and this was her one and only symptom of it, it was a constant niggly pain in her lower right side, which got worse when she was moving around. If your ultrasound comes back negative (my mum had about 4 tests and a colonoscopy was the only thing that finally showed the cancer present), get yourself checked out.

He sounds like an absolute twat. Ignore him, and in your position I'd be reconsidering a lot of things, especially as you say his attitude is already shite.

When I had very bad periods last year (they couldn't figure out why. Scans all fine, and it's gone back to normal now), DH was the one hovering over me with a phone to call the GP, a hot water bottle, and quite frankly more blankets than I knew we had. As it fucking should be. Urgh! I hate rotten men who put down women's pain!

Was also going to say to make sure you update your travel insurance

This! Some men are like this and you should run a mile. Imagine growing old / becoming seriously ill with a partner who is so uncaring. It would be awful.

I had this, and it is no fun at all. OP, get your scan, and ignore your husband. Unless he has a medical degree, what does he know?

You may have whats known as a grumbling appendix.

Is he always a prick when you're unwell? Or is it just in general?! In which case why are you even with him?

He's a complete knob for thinking lung issues don't hurt. Pleurisy was worse than labour AND broken limbs combined ime!

Hope it turns out to be nowt serious

He sounds like a complete dick and also not very bright!
Son had appendicitis and he had a nagging discomfort in abdomen for weeks He wasn't rolling around in agony!
BIL has just recently had pneumonia with every imaginable complication Inc needing a thoracotomy His original main symptom was excruciating pain in his chest because the pleura becomes inflamed..pleura most definitely does have pain receptors!

Surely if your partner is in pain and has been for awhile you'd want them to get to the bottom of the issue to help treat whatever is causing them pain?;who wants someone they supposedly love to be in pain?

This man baby is immature and completely lacks emotional intelligence.

It's quite dangerous to have a partner who sneers and belittles you for wanting to attend to your health. So many women end up being bullied into ignoring pain and risking more serious illness to pander to a spouse.

Nob; just that.

I’ve had pneumonia. I was hit like an express train with shallow, painful breathing. Your husband doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

So he thinks that you are lying about being in pain with pneumonia? And now he is belittling you and being dismissive of your being in pain now. You have mentioned "your" trip rather than "our" trip. Is he emotionally punishing you for going away without him? And further, for you potentially not functioning correctly in the home and bedroom if you are unwell?

Pneumonia is often very painful, someone said it was like a stabbing pain with every breathe. Also hospitalised, it’s hardly a jolly.