To think this the most pointless, indulgent gap year possible

[Killiam]

Met with some old friends of DHs yesterday, we aren’t close anymore but we have daughters of the same age (17).
We asked what their daughter was planing for after A-levels and they told us she’s going on a gap year, thinking it would be a classic backpacking trip we asked where she would be going and this is what they described

• First Greek island hopping (for fun and independence)
• Then a wellness retreat in either Thailand or Indonesia (self reflection and stress management)
• Then December in New York (Engage with the culture such as visiting museums, enjoy city life (she already lives in London but okay?) and emerge herself in the Christmas spirit)
• January to March at the families ski chalet (take on courses to help with leadership skills, read classical literature and ski)
• Rest of the year in France/Italy/Spain (culture again, cooking classes and wine tasting)

They justified it by saying she has no interest in backpacking and they don’t believe that’s enriching anyway and they feel this is a balanced way to transition her from childhood to adulthood (plans a degree apprenticeship for the following year).
They think these experiences will give her the final touches she needs to be successful after putting a lot of effort into ensuring she is well rounded (sports, music, language, well read and well travelled etc.)

AIBU to think this is more indulgent, pointless, year long luxury holiday of a gap year. I don’t mind gap years in general but this will be entirely funded by her parents and I can’t see what exactly is going to make it so enriching. Of course she need not actually worry as they also mentioned buying her a flat worth over a million and how she will have a job in either of their businesses should she actually want it!

Sounds much safer and better planned than backpacking.
It appears she has an affluent background and her life choices will reflect that.
I’m not sure envy green is a color that suits anyone.
I sincerely hope the young gal enjoys her year.

Lucky girl!

Sounds amazing and wish I could go myself! I don't see how slumming it in hostels backpacking is more enriching to be honest. Gap years are meant to be fun and a last hurrah before working life.

Sounds fabulous and much safer than backpacking.

Hope I can do this for my kids one day if that's what they want!

Christ, I’d love to take a year out to follow this exact plan but sadly I’m not as loaded as her parents obviously are!

Jealous, much?

Jealousy is ugly, OP. Rein it in.

It sounds amazing and she's a lucky young woman. Why shouldn't her family spend their own money on her to enable her to have wonderful experiences? If she comes from such a wealthy background she's never going to need to slum it in her life, and that's absolutely fine. Of course all those experiences are going to enrich her life, she'll be going to different countries, experiencing different cultures and meeting people, just the same as people who backpack on the cheap.

I mean it sounds amazing and I would love to take a year off and go and do exactly that!

The majority of travelling gap years are self-indulgent, this is just a slightly different flavour from the usual stereotype. There sounds like a bit of jealousy going on here OP.

Well it does sound a little unrealistic. I can't imagine your average 18 year old reading classic literature , taking cooking classes or wine tasting. But good on them , if you can why not ?

Sounds brilliant. What a lucky girl!

Sounds like a lovely opportunity and year. Stop being green.

My thoughts too!
Then again they were bragging that she just finished reading war & peace and had already done Anna Karenina (how true I can’t be sure!)

That’s my dream trip!! I hope she has a fabulous time, I’m so envious…but in a good way. Lucky, lucky girl.

Why is it “pointless”?

I read both of them at 18.

You sound very jealous - it’s not a good look.

Let them crack on . It sounds like you're happy not to see them regularly. All this stuff is just.background noise and means nothing.

Sounds amazing! I’d be envious too, OP.
She is very lucky to have such a great experience planned.

It’s sounds totally fabulous. I can see the potential for it bestowing poise and polish. And, moreover, being great fun. Should the young woman be entitled and spoilt such a year will no doubt reinforce that. But assuming she is a pleasant, hardworking person, it seems like a fantastic opportunity funded by parents who can plainly afford it.

Would they like to adopt a mid fourties daughter? I wouldn't mind going on this gap year!

You sound like quite a piece of work, your only responding comment so far wades past all the feedback pouring out you’re jealous and petty and you go two footed in again! I mean the main take away for me is why the hell have you even got an opinion on what someone’s else’s kid does after college let alone a sour and judgemental one like you have.

Sounds absolutely amazing. Let's make gap years for people in their 40s a thing.

I can't see anything wrong with it. It sounds like she will be soaking up loads of culture and learning new skills. Skills which will prepare her both for adult life and for her new job when she gets back. And there is nothing wrong with joining the family business, if that is even what she ultimately decides that she wants to do. Backpacking around hostels is not the superior choice for a gap year. It is just a choice.

Wow what a treat - lucky girl. She will surely have an amazing year with lot's of stories to tell.
You sound nothing but bitter I'm afraid.

Given they have plenty of money, I don’t see the problem. I’d rather that than the worry of my child backpacking.

Why do they have to justify it? Are you the gap year controller?