To think this the most pointless, indulgent gap year possible

[Killiam]

Met with some old friends of DHs yesterday, we aren’t close anymore but we have daughters of the same age (17).
We asked what their daughter was planing for after A-levels and they told us she’s going on a gap year, thinking it would be a classic backpacking trip we asked where she would be going and this is what they described

• First Greek island hopping (for fun and independence)
• Then a wellness retreat in either Thailand or Indonesia (self reflection and stress management)
• Then December in New York (Engage with the culture such as visiting museums, enjoy city life (she already lives in London but okay?) and emerge herself in the Christmas spirit)
• January to March at the families ski chalet (take on courses to help with leadership skills, read classical literature and ski)
• Rest of the year in France/Italy/Spain (culture again, cooking classes and wine tasting)

They justified it by saying she has no interest in backpacking and they don’t believe that’s enriching anyway and they feel this is a balanced way to transition her from childhood to adulthood (plans a degree apprenticeship for the following year).
They think these experiences will give her the final touches she needs to be successful after putting a lot of effort into ensuring she is well rounded (sports, music, language, well read and well travelled etc.)

AIBU to think this is more indulgent, pointless, year long luxury holiday of a gap year. I don’t mind gap years in general but this will be entirely funded by her parents and I can’t see what exactly is going to make it so enriching. Of course she need not actually worry as they also mentioned buying her a flat worth over a million and how she will have a job in either of their businesses should she actually want it!

What would make it more enriching in your experience? I know plenty of people that went bakpacking, it basically involved travelling the world to go to raves in different countries, how is that any less indulgent.

Maybe work on why you struggle?
EVERYONE is under qualified for their first job.

I agree. It sounds amazing. And a better spent year than working part time in Gap while going out drinking with mates ag the weekend.

And 🤷‍♀️

Not everyone gets a role at a multi-million pound company far above entry level just because one of their parents own it. That role is then taken from someone who will have worked for it.

Well, don't see them any more then! If this is true, all you're doing is gossiping about their entire life on the internet whilst trying to present yourself as some sort of class warrior.

Kindly OP, you reek of having a chip on your shoulder, but we all have our thing.

Sounds fabulous. Good grief op you sound really jealous. Or snooty about what it is to be 'enriching'.

I can’t find the comment now but someone mentioned it sounds lonely and the lack of friends. I think it’s by design. Her parents seem to think very lowly of her friends and I imagine this is intended to keep her apart from them.

I never understood how backpacking was a good use of a gap year. The best and most enriching use might be to get a job and work hard to save for uni?
But this girl's gap year sounds amazing! Wish I could have done that!

When I was hiring new graduates, I would always want to know if they'd done any paid work on their gap years. To me that was much more worthwhile, and I was never impressed by activities entirely funded by their parents. It suggested they didn't have much of a work ethic.

Blimey. Sounds wonderful. I'd love that! But I wouldn't want to leave the dogs.

If a couple create their own company they can hire who ever they please.
without their business concept no one would have a job.

Considering she will likely never be hired in the traditional way (either it will be through her parents contacts or her parents themselves) I doubt this is a concern for them.

Traveling to at least 3-5 different countries in 3 different continents is not enriching? You must be joking.

Your posts are so bitter and jealous, maybe try joining the wellness retreat 🤣

I thought they came from nothing and now suddenly you are struggling with their privilege? Make it make sense.

what’s your own DD doing?

Sounds amazing. I would love to do this. You sound jealous.

Not the point of the thread, but I was obsessed by Russian literature in my teens.

Russian literature is often angsty and moody and about finding your place in the world and it appeals very much to teenagers.

I'm less keen on it as an adult...

I think it sounds amazing. If they can afford it why not? I'd go if I could afford it.

You come across as someone who snobs downwards in your post. Gap years are meant to be one way for you if this is what their dd would like to do w hers why not?

She’s going straight to uni, we don’t have the funds for a gap year!

My cousins gap year was a bit like this. And to be honest she needed it. Because she was spoilt and bratty beforehand. My aunt did everything for her and my cousin couldn’t even boil an egg at age 18!

she came back as a confident and humble woman ready for the next stage of her life. With loads of new skills. It was amazing!

But children of the ultra-rich do. This is normal for them. Yes it is gross that there is so much inherited privilege in the world, but if they are that rich, this is perfectly normal for the boys. They girls are usually just expected to look swishy until they marry somebody similarly rich.

How do you actually know these people? If you move in the same circles I’m not sure why you are surprised, and if you don’t I’m not sure how you are coming into contact with them?

Why are you so bothered? Sounds great to me, if I had the money to be "indulgent" I certainly would.

Hopefully you've changed the post as well, as this is super identifying for the family that you are spitting all of this ugly jealousy about.

This is not a sign of moral superiority

No need though to be so bitter and jealous about someone else. You already think badly about them and dismiss their kid as someone who will only have a career in their parents business.
Have a coffee and be happy with your life.