To think if you're invited for lunch you should leave shortly after lunch?

[purplebeansprouts]

say you go round at 11 and then lunch is at12:30 I'd personally be making moves to leave at the most 1 hour after. aibu?

If youre only going to be around 1-2 hours you don't need a meal, only a cup of tea. So of course you're expecting the to stay longer if you invite them
for a meal

They invited themselves

Ahh right slightly different then. I’d say invite for tea and cake at 2pm in future rather than lunch or have somewhere to be by 3pm next time.

My sister and boyfriend never took the hint it was time to go so we used to put shoes and coats on and put kids in the car and pretend to head out. Circled the block until the coast was clear and then came home!

my dad used to just close his eyes and pretend to sleep.

As it’s your in laws can you start to just potter “right going to pop some washing on and get stuff ready for the start of the week”

Depends on the in-laws!!

but why can't you do whatever it is you need/want to do while they're there? Or say 'sorry, I have to walk the dog/get dinner ready/sort the kids uniforms out, so make yourselves comfortable (do you want the TV on, help yourselves to tea/coffee'. Etc.

So are they visiting from outside the area but staying elsewhere? (You said they're going home today)
In that case just ask them what time they're 'hitting the road'. At least then you'll know their intentions.

One hour? I'd struggle to get done in one hour even in a restaurant with a high turnover! I would be grossly offended if someone did an eat and run

“Fancy a quick cup of tea before you go!”

works every time.

Then you say "we'll give you some lunch, but you won't be able to stay long as we have things to do". And then at 1.30pm (or whenever) you start saying "nice to see you, I'll get your coat" rather than "hinting".

Sunday lunch is longer than Saturday or a weekday.
Perhaps “brunch” next time and explain that you are going out at 2 pm. Be enthusiastic and if needs be say “short and sweet”. Be very warm saying your goodbyes.

My BIL and wife + kids used to come for lunch (once unexpectedly arrived at 10 am ‘in case you need any help’ 😩) and would regularly leave around 9-9:30pm, sometimes even later. Our kids were exhausted, their kids would be put to sleep in our bedrooms and then woken up to go home etc. I got so sick of this that we completely stopped the invites over a year ago.

This is totally mad arriving for a single course lunch at 10/11am. I really wouldn't have a clue.

Oh, well, they're screwed up then. If they planned to arrive at 10 they were inviting themselves to morning coffee. This is your PILs, right?

LOL - I wrote this post before I saw yours saying it was your inlaws.

I just knew it was parents 😂

They are the hardest to shift. Totally impervious to hints.

Sounds odd to me. We often used to host weekend lunches when dc were small. Now it's mainly dinner as they're grown up.

But if I was hosting lunch I'd invite guests to arrive for 1pm & we'd serve between 1.30 - 2pm & I'd expect everyone to be gone by 5pm / 6pm especially if they've travelled any distance to be with us.

And if we were hosting a lunch it would be a leisurely affair so drinks & nibbles on arrival. Perhaps a starter or sharing platters. Then a main with sides. Wine & water & soft drinks for kids / non drinkers

Coffee after & always a selection of homenade desserts so it would easily stretch out over a couple of hours.

Unless it was my sister or parents I would not want anyone arriving at 10am or even 11am for lunch!

You mentioned that today they are going home, have they been visiting for the weekend? Do they live far away?

If so, and they're just trying to spend their last day with their grandchildren etc then it seems reasonable they would expect lunch to last a few hours.

I would leave by dinner time.

Wow what a horrible thing to do. How awful of him.

Be rude to rush off. As long as it's before teatime roll's around and host doesn't need to go somewhere. Anytime between 1.30 and 4 is reasonable.

Are you on the spectrum, because that's a very asd attitude? You think lunch means lunch, whereas it means something much more than that to most people. I am on the spectrum myself and would want to leave just after but I know that's not what is expected/ appropriate.

Are they expecting afternoon tea before they go? Or at least a cup of tea and a biscuit? Do they have far to travel? Definitely start talking about their journey home/driving in the dark/when you will next see them. They may be hoping for a dinner invite!

" I've never been invited for lunch that early because none of my friends live in a hospital, nursing home or school. " 😂😂

This entirely depends on who it is and how well you know them.

When I have people for meals they just stay for as long as they want, I actually dislike it if they leave early, feels like a waste. So usually lunch runs into early evening which often ends up them having dinner.

I’d be really upset if someone I invited for lunch left an hour after lunch started. Quite apart from the fact that we would not have finished eating by then.
From your following posts I realise your situation is different but you said “if invited for lunch you should leave shortly after lunch” and I think most people would find this odd if not actively insulting .

No, that would be rude to eat and leave. Though you've said lunch, I do think it might be different for a Sunday dinner than something more casual.