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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away immediately from this

306 replies

Consoprize · 03/11/2024 07:34

I met a man through a mutual group of friends. Let’s call him Chad . We’ve been seeing each other a few months, although nothing serious yet.

Chad and I are supposed to go on a trip at the end of november to see a concert. I have the tickets and hotel booking and he hasn’t paid his share yet.

Our mutual friends are throwing an engagement party in December. We were both invited. The engaged couple know we’ve been seeing each other. It’s not a secret.

An old flame of Chad’s is also going to the party. She is flying in from overseas. I know he hasn’t seen her since she left the U.K but they were casually dating before she left.

I jokingly asked Chad if I needed to be concerned that he’d be with her at the party, rather than me.

Chad said he actually wasn’t sure…but feels it might be best to agree that he and I aren’t “together” at the party itself as he “doesn’t want to be in a difficult situation”.

I have told Chad that that didn’t work for me, that I’m keeping the concert tickets and to not contact me ever again.

Chad wants to talk about it some more. Chad thinks he should be allowed more time to think it through. He feels I’m being pushy and giving him an ultimatum.

I’ve told Chad to shove it up his arse and the very fact he even has to think about it, tells me everything I need to know about how he perceives me. He thinks that’s unfair of me before we’ve even talked about it.

I don’t think IABU here, surely?

OP posts:
WomenInConstruction · 03/11/2024 08:02

Changingplace · 03/11/2024 08:00

You’ve dodged a bullet there OP, sod ‘Chad’ he clearly thought he could keep his options open with this ex and keep you dangling.

If it was his ex wife possibly different but a non serious ex, nah forget it!

Enjoy the party & the gig - the only one who’s made it awkward is him, do you know his ex? If so make sure you spend time chatting to them, just to watch him squirm 🤣

👌

MellowPanda · 03/11/2024 08:02

sandgrown · 03/11/2024 07:45

How serious was their relationship before she upped and left? Maybe when she left he was upset and genuinely does not know how he will feel when he sees her again. He should not deny you are together but maybe he is just being honest .

Misogynist sympathiser.

If he isn't over other woman, shouldn't be dating and accepting gifts should he?

Bobbybobbins · 03/11/2024 08:04

Good job OP 👏

violentovulation · 03/11/2024 08:05

YES! This is how you do it.

The first sign of bullshit, you throw it in the bin. 🔥

StormingNorman · 03/11/2024 08:10

What a dick.

OliviaRodrighost · 03/11/2024 08:13

I’m so glad you had the balls to do this! My new hero. I wish more people would dump terrible partners the second they start acting the cunt instead of ignoring the signs until it’s too late.

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 03/11/2024 08:13

Well done. You’re well rid.

I would make a point of introducing myself to the ex though. “Hi, I’m x, Chad must be so glad you’re back. We were actually seeing each other until he heard you’d be there, but then he told me to pretend we weren’t together so he could sound you out.”

But I’m a petty bitch. :D

MaggieBsBoat · 03/11/2024 08:16

I salute you OP.
It warms my heart to see a woman not taking crap for a change on here. Well done you 🫡

SpringleDingle · 03/11/2024 08:18

Nice move! Chad is a wrong-un. Enjoy your concert and Chad-free life. Now there is room in your life for when a great guy shows up.

Fingeronthebutton · 03/11/2024 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Consoprize · 03/11/2024 08:20

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 03/11/2024 08:13

Well done. You’re well rid.

I would make a point of introducing myself to the ex though. “Hi, I’m x, Chad must be so glad you’re back. We were actually seeing each other until he heard you’d be there, but then he told me to pretend we weren’t together so he could sound you out.”

But I’m a petty bitch. :D

I absolutely love this.

OP posts:
WomenInConstruction · 03/11/2024 08:21

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 03/11/2024 08:13

Well done. You’re well rid.

I would make a point of introducing myself to the ex though. “Hi, I’m x, Chad must be so glad you’re back. We were actually seeing each other until he heard you’d be there, but then he told me to pretend we weren’t together so he could sound you out.”

But I’m a petty bitch. :D

Yes yes yes. 🤣🤣

Consoprize · 03/11/2024 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Is this even a thing??? Genuinely not a bot. Although that’s probably exactly what a bot would say.

Curious to know why you’d think it wasn’t real?

OP posts:
WomenInConstruction · 03/11/2024 08:21

MaggieBsBoat · 03/11/2024 08:16

I salute you OP.
It warms my heart to see a woman not taking crap for a change on here. Well done you 🫡

Agree.

Bobskeleton · 03/11/2024 08:22

Sounds like you have both laid your cards on the table and they don't align so yes move on.

Hope the party isn't too awkward..

myfitbitisfucked · 03/11/2024 08:22

“When someone shows you who they are believe them”
😉

LyingPaintSample · 03/11/2024 08:22

Oh, what it would be like to have the confidence of a mediocre man....

I would never speak another word to him ever again. I'm so glad you chose to prioritise yourself and your boundaries.

Ginnnny · 03/11/2024 08:24

Chad is a total wanker.

TheMintBiscuit · 03/11/2024 08:25

The nerve of him thinking he can treat you like thatb😡

Well done op for showing him he can't!!

Eenameenadeeka · 03/11/2024 08:25

Bye Chad.
Good on you though. Enjoy the concert!

Anna808 · 03/11/2024 08:26

Very straightforward. He’s shared information with you - this information has upset you and given you reason to leave him. The end. You re not the A Hole.

Ithinkyou · 03/11/2024 08:26

What an absolute joker! See you later, Chad!

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 03/11/2024 08:29

Ginnnny · 03/11/2024 08:24

Chad is a total wanker.

Well, once it transpires that the other woman isn’t interested either he will be 🤣

Consoprize · 03/11/2024 08:31

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 03/11/2024 08:29

Well, once it transpires that the other woman isn’t interested either he will be 🤣

Let’s please all manifest this 🙏

OP posts:
needahandholdpls · 03/11/2024 08:31

At very best, Chad needs to grow a backbone and not feel awkward about having a new partner when his ex-fling comes to a party... what's to say she's still single or interested in him anyway?!

At worst, he's keeping his options open, perhaps hoping he can rekindle something with her whilst she's back and then have you on standby.

Either way, you've done the right thing. Go to the party, hold your head up high and enjoy the concert too!

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