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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away immediately from this

306 replies

Consoprize · 03/11/2024 07:34

I met a man through a mutual group of friends. Let’s call him Chad . We’ve been seeing each other a few months, although nothing serious yet.

Chad and I are supposed to go on a trip at the end of november to see a concert. I have the tickets and hotel booking and he hasn’t paid his share yet.

Our mutual friends are throwing an engagement party in December. We were both invited. The engaged couple know we’ve been seeing each other. It’s not a secret.

An old flame of Chad’s is also going to the party. She is flying in from overseas. I know he hasn’t seen her since she left the U.K but they were casually dating before she left.

I jokingly asked Chad if I needed to be concerned that he’d be with her at the party, rather than me.

Chad said he actually wasn’t sure…but feels it might be best to agree that he and I aren’t “together” at the party itself as he “doesn’t want to be in a difficult situation”.

I have told Chad that that didn’t work for me, that I’m keeping the concert tickets and to not contact me ever again.

Chad wants to talk about it some more. Chad thinks he should be allowed more time to think it through. He feels I’m being pushy and giving him an ultimatum.

I’ve told Chad to shove it up his arse and the very fact he even has to think about it, tells me everything I need to know about how he perceives me. He thinks that’s unfair of me before we’ve even talked about it.

I don’t think IABU here, surely?

OP posts:
ToMeToYou2 · 03/11/2024 20:08

.

Gymnopedie · 03/11/2024 20:48

So I don't need for our relationship to be broadcast and centered at every moment.

Good for you. Most women don't either.

However if you were both going to a party and your man said he didn't want you to show in any way that you and he had any sort of relationship, so that if he fancied getting off with someone else it would appear to that someone that he was perfectly free to do so - how cool would that be?

And if your answer is that he wouldn't do that, then you're not in the same position as the OP so what you do or feel is irrelevant.

Teacherprebaby · 03/11/2024 22:01

Can people stop derailing the thread with their own insecurities.

SunnyHappyPeople · 04/11/2024 08:26

SensibleSigma · 03/11/2024 07:43

Man tries to have his cake and eat it. Discovers woman isn’t a cafe.

Love that!

SapphireSeptember · 04/11/2024 14:27

SensibleSigma · 03/11/2024 07:43

Man tries to have his cake and eat it. Discovers woman isn’t a cafe.

Stealing that!

Genevieva · 04/11/2024 17:18

Good call. You’re not a dish at an all you can eat buffet.

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