To walk away immediately from this

[Consoprize]

I met a man through a mutual group of friends. Let’s call him Chad . We’ve been seeing each other a few months, although nothing serious yet.

Chad and I are supposed to go on a trip at the end of november to see a concert. I have the tickets and hotel booking and he hasn’t paid his share yet.

Our mutual friends are throwing an engagement party in December. We were both invited. The engaged couple know we’ve been seeing each other. It’s not a secret.

An old flame of Chad’s is also going to the party. She is flying in from overseas. I know he hasn’t seen her since she left the U.K but they were casually dating before she left.

I jokingly asked Chad if I needed to be concerned that he’d be with her at the party, rather than me.

Chad said he actually wasn’t sure…but feels it might be best to agree that he and I aren’t “together” at the party itself as he “doesn’t want to be in a difficult situation”.

I have told Chad that that didn’t work for me, that I’m keeping the concert tickets and to not contact me ever again.

Chad wants to talk about it some more. Chad thinks he should be allowed more time to think it through. He feels I’m being pushy and giving him an ultimatum.

I’ve told Chad to shove it up his arse and the very fact he even has to think about it, tells me everything I need to know about how he perceives me. He thinks that’s unfair of me before we’ve even talked about it.

I don’t think IABU here, surely?

So you’re weren’t even at the stage where you’d presume you’d share a bed if staying overnight somewhere?

I agree he's a dick and to walk away from him. However the way you describe how you went about this ie: your response "I told him I'm keeping the concert tickets and to never contact me ever again" sounds like a child throwing a tantrum

"I see OP becoming irate that the ex is there, threatened, and wanting to make sure he will parade their relationship and him being like nah that's a bit vulgar. Her in his face, red faced, crying, will you dance with me? WONT YOU EVEN TOUCH ME?!?!?!?!"

@Jade your imagination has taken quite a flight of fancy on this thread.
Perhaps you should seek out a creative outlet for that rather than inventing scenarios in your head then posting on here as though you've got it nailed.
It's rude and makes you seem full of yourself.

😂 I’ll give you your due. You’ve got a sense of humour even if you’ve got no self awareness.

and why would you be sharing a room at the party? or were you talking about the concert?

No I've seen this kind of behaviour from women with views like this. They want to centre their relationship at all times.

Where's all the angst coming from?

Chad thinks he should be allowed more time to think it through.

Chad (bless his little cotton socks) has the right to feel like that - even if most of us think he's a wanker for doing so.

The OP has the right to say 'Sod that. I'm not waiting around to see if I'm the chosen one, I'm removing myself from the equation'.

Simples.

You are not an authority on the OP though, are you? In fact, you know next to nothing about her. She's a total stranger.

That you have a couple of anecdotes to recall is of no matter. It is rude to make things up and insist you are correct.

Unfortunately, it seems from Chad's point of view, the same can be said of your relationship.

You were right to ditch the ponce.

the party is weeks away

If the OP is wittering on about a causal relationship that wrapped up weeks previously… i think it is the Op that will be the one people are somewhat 🤔 about!

😂

Jade! You were doing so well! You’d managed to go several whole posts without insulting anyone, then fell at the final hurdle.

You and me both, @TheTrumptonRiots. You and me both. 😎

I know she dumped a guy who wouldn't flaunt his new relationship in front of his ex at someone else's engagement...

And of course your post was flattering and my response ill deserved.

Uh huh...🙄

She didn’t dump him because he wouldn’t flaunt their relationship. She dumped him because he “feels it might be best to agree that he and I aren’t “together” at the party itself as he “doesn’t want to be in a difficult situation”. He was asking the OP to forget they were seeing each other for the evening, so he’d be free to try and get together with the previous woman he’d been sleeping with and not have to feel awkward about it. And, presumably, if the other woman wasn’t interested, be ready to pick up again at his convenience.

Did you misunderstand? Is that why you’ve been so insulting with everyone? Because you thought the OP wanted Chad to declare his love for her at the party?

What a ba$tard.
He's using you as a "reserve" in case nothing comes of the other "relationship".
When that happened to me I ... well I better not say, we were only 17 at the time and I didn't treat him very well.

I think he just meant that they aren't there as each other's date. These are mutual friends if both so they would likely both receive invites if they didn't know each other.

Very well done for telling Chad to shove it up his arse. Great phrase and very under used I feel.

I’m not suggesting you do it but I am rather curious about what he wants to discuss further. Ignoring him / grey rock will be far more satisfying though.

What a pig. You on the other hand are a legend OP.

He thinks otherwise now 😀

i get the impression he doesn’t really give a hoot either way

@Consoprize 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Should have called him Chud