It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

Get her some Halloween gifts for Xmas.

Make it a funny family joke?

Ask her why she's doing it next time or buy her Xmas themed gifts for her birthday, mothers day and Easter until she stops being a passive aggressive bitch

Do it back to her when its her birthday if she questions it just say I thought you would appreciate them as you get me something every year same with bil.

She's being very odd.
Next year say firmly in advance "Nothing Christmas themed for my birthday please. If you need ideas I would enjoy getting.....".
Or....
Come out and literally ask her why she does it.
It would be interesting to hear her answer.
Anyway..... Happy Birthday 🎂

This must be a family joke. She might have thought you'd laugh and then when you didn't it was too awkward to say it was meant to be funny?

Buy some reduced Halloween stuff and wrap for her birthday or Mother's day off dh. Bet she won't complain if it's from him. She doesn't like you. Now you know stop - if you do it - any wife work for his family. Step back op. Why waste your energy? Ime it is very liberating stepping away.

Her birthday is mid march so perhaps st pat's stuff? 😁

Or dig out an Easter egg. Shops will be full by then!!

Sadly this is a MIL who would make a MASSIVE fuss if I did say something and act like I murdered her pet or something. Once when I gently suggested they she buy a bit less than a bulging Santa sack for our son for Christmas (ie more than what we got him) she accused me and DH of ruining Christmas for her and cried to her sister for 2 days about us. She can never be wrong. Ever. If I even make a tiny hint that I don't want Christmas themed stuff for my birthday I feel like it will get worse and worse each year.

Mine next week and I received an unwrapped present from boots which is an advent calendar. Odd for a pre December birthday I thought.

Do you get on? Does she like you?

I have a January birthday and get unwanted Christmas presents and Boots 70% discount crap. They may as well drop them at the charity shop. My favourite gift is an Amazon voucher and I can treat myself all year, mostly buying books.

What type of Christmas themed gifts did you get?

I like this idea! 😂

I would say just don’t see her around you birthday, but it sounds like she’s the type to just show up, leave stuff on doorstep etc. I would definitely fight fire with fire and give her Xmas stuff for her bday. You could even regift what she gave you!

Last year from her for my birthday it was a Boots beauty advent calendar.

Regift it back to her for Christmas and use the saved money to buy yourself something nice?

Sounds like shes got narc tendencies and is probably doing it to piss you off. I'd lean into it. Show her you give zero shits and actually really appreciate her gifst as it saves money for Christmas and helps you get in the xmas spirit. What a thoughful MIL she is. She may then stop doing it as she's not getting the reaction she's after, or she continues and you've lost nothing (as it seems she's going to keep doing it anyhow!)

See that's the thing, she does, she gave me a huge hug and kiss when leaving tonight, constantly says she's so glad to have me as a DIL then she does this kind of thing. I said in a previous reply that she CANNOT be criticised. She's a drama queen and quite controlling (drives DH mad, he's good at pushing back but sometimes it's not worth the massive outrage and overreacting she'd do).

I think I might need to try and find a way via DH to minimise this. Otherwise that's it forever more; Christmas tat for birthday! 😆

From what you said your DH is annoyed as well. Ask him how he wants to deal with this.

Does he want to talk to her and BIL and ask them not to do this. He then needs to remind them before your birthday next year not to do this. Or does he want to reciprocate and get her Valentine's or Easter themed stuff for her birthday.

It's a bit unfair OP for her to do this. I wouldn't dream of getting my Christmas Eve birthday relative anything Christmassy for their birthday, so why do it to someone who's birthday is 2 months before.

Hang on a minute... boots beauty calendar is a great present! Yes it christmas related but tonnes of beauty products. You made it sound like you get a singing santa or a farting reindeer with a birthday bow on it.

Scented Christmas candles a couple of Christmas tea towels, Christmas socks, a Christmas scented diffuser and Christmas coasters. Oh and also a kind of plate display thing?

I think the boots advent calendar is a nice gift too! It’s not decorative crap!

Re-gift it back to her for Christmas.

That’s actually a nice gift! And you need to get it before December 1st so 🤷🏼‍♀️

I've learned to have very low expectations from people, so I am never disappointed. I'd say thanks! I don't have the energy to care that much, but I guess at Christmas, I will love the gifts. I find it very odd, though. I guess your MIL is an oddball!