It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

I just want to clarify again for everyone that I really did love the Boots calendar when I received that a few years ago. It's just it's been lots of very niche Christmas themed things for a while now. That's what I was a bit irked at. Plus like I said in original post it was only maybe one Christmas themed thing before this year's birthday and this year that's all it was; all Christmas stuff. And it wasn't anything like the calendar that I'd get use out of.

You are being a total ungrateful bitch.

My sister has a November birthday. One year I gave her a Hotel Chocolat advent calendar. Like @PrincessofWells I would have loved to have been given one. However now I'm starting to think she might have thought it a strange and useless gift.

That is strange but on the bright side you have plenty of things to regift now at the actual Christmas time!

But does that honestly really matter ? I get that it’s irritating; but does so much really hang on what your MIL gives you for your birthday?

Maybe just make a deal with yourself: every Christmas themed gift you get is an excuse to buy yourself some little treat in lieu. Then squirrel the Christmas things away for gifts or charity. Or even use them. They might be Christmas themed but are some of them useful at Christmas.?

I would love that 😍

TBH, it’s your MIL and not a close family member or friend.

I would just thank her and move on. If you don’t want the gifts, donate to charity or give them to someone who would like them.

I assume you are not responsible for buying her presents for birthdays or Christmas? If so, stop and make sure that’s all on DH from now on.

I wouldn’t think too much about this.

Wait. Hang on, I saw the Boots calendar update. This is a really nice and pretty expensive gift.

You've got a November birthday - this isn't weird at all. Sorry OP - a poor reaction to this is pretty ungrateful.

Christmas tat is different but expensive Christmas calender - even if they aren't your thing - are a decent present.

Tbh op I’ve never specified a “theme” as being either in or out for my birthday.

I guess maybe it’s stock that looks new and fresh in the shops at this time of year.

Yes I was very grateful to receive that gift! I've said that already, I really honestly loved the calendar. I'm thinking now it was a few years ago maybe my (genuine) enthusiasm for the calendar has now made her think I totally love Christmas things for my birthday so she's now going full on Christmas all singing all dancing gifts?

In the spirit of Christmas I did accept it all gracefully and I won't say anything in future as like pp have said, not really a big deal and just make it a funny quirk from now on.

Thanks to everyone commenting! 😊

Your MIL must really like Christmas or she thinks that you don't and she's trying to inject a bit of festive feelings into you by giving you no excuse not to decorate your home or your table with Christmas themed stuff?
I'm not a Christmas lover myself and I would be so unhappy if I received nothing but Christmas themed things.
As some of the PPS have noted, and you yourself have said, some of the gifts have been useful, and all have been nice enough.
If there's no use in talking to her about this and she persists in giving you Christmas things for your birthday obviously she's sending you a message.
I would just pick out what you do like, regift some of the other stuff, and bung the rest on eBay 🙄

You don’t like MIL and you don’t like her presents. Just stop having high expectations.

And don’t put much effort into hers (or get DH to do it). Focus your anticipation on people who matter.

When I was a child I used to open Christmas presents in reverse order of estimated quality, from completely out of touch great aunt through to grandad who could always be relied on (I now realise DM probably bought for him). I still do the same, though present list is much shorter, and I know everyone is doing their best.

Why is this Christmas tat? If you like beauty products it sounds like a lovely present to me. New products to try out and there ready for 1st December.
What did you actually get this year?

Does she go all out for Christmas on her house? Is she one of those people who have a set of plates etc that are just for Christmas?

Maybe she’s trying to get you to be more Christmassy and thinks it’s helping to gift you the stuff!

Exactly, can’t believe a grown woman making a fuss about what her mother in law buys for her birthday. Who cares.

Christmas plates/glasses would be a really odd gift for anyone, any time of year, unless you know for a fact that they want them. Things like that take so much room to store and can only be used for a month or so, at the most. I'd be irritated by that type of gift if I hadn't made it clear that I loved to go all out for Christmas.

I'd stop putting too much effort into gift-shopping for her. Her son can take over that job, and from now on it's a polite thank-you and donate it if it's not your style.

I just don't understand families who don't ask each other the simple question of -
"What would you like for your birthday this year?"
I don't understand the concept of buying random stuff and hoping the receiver likes it.

See I'd be really happy with that as you've got it in plenty of time for Christmas and it isn't something you always want to spend your own money on. It seems she hasn't picked up on your dislike though.

Next year invite her and BIL over for a birthday lunch and be sure to wear a Christmas themed jumpsuit or dress, Xmas tree bauble earrings and reindeer horns. Serve mulled wine, mince pies, turkey, Brussels sprouts and a giant Yule log birthday cake. Have Christmas songs playing and lean into it.

Only joking.I’d have to see if it was deliberate but it sounds like she just doesn’t know what to get you and has been blinded by all the Christmas advertising.

It really surprises me how many people would be bothered by this. Wouldn't bother me at all.

Me neither.

Some people really hate their MILs though

Same lool

Crikey how many presents does she buy you? I’d have thought one birthday present was quite sufficient.

No idea about the Christmas theme though, seems strange.

I don't feel so bad about my Christmas tree hot water bottle that my in-laws bought me for my milestone birthday......in July! Lol

Maybe it's time to say a big fat no to presents between the older generations, for birthdays and Christmas. Obviously you can exchange gifts with DH but other than that - nothing. A card with a thoughtful message is quite enough in this consumerist society. Who on earth needs Christmas socks - and I hate scented candles.