It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

Our family must be weird or something. Well the adults anyway, since none of us give or receive gifts for Birthdays or Christmas. We are big and bold, have everything we could ever need and feel that no one should spend their money on "things" for others. A nice warm and sincerely meant whatsapp is what we do.

That would be siblings, in laws, etc. Each individual family can do what they want (obviously!) amongst themselves for their partners and children.

It works well for us and saves the planet a bit, because realistically what we used to give and receive were relatively inexpensive gifts anyway.

In OP's case, I think I'd snort and get into the spirit of it. When opening the present in MIL's presence I'd make a big thing of looking at the calendar and noting that it's November not December, but thanks so much for the thought anyway. I'd love to have the balls to re gift a Christmas present back to her for her birthday, and say something like, "hey MIL, I'm far more organised and ahead of the game than you usually are with me lol ha ha"

Or maybe forget it and just say thanks, since she seems to enjoy your reaction. Honestly, if this was a kid's birthday they'd be in the naughty corner.

I would love this. My aunty and I often buy each other Christmas bit. However my Mum would hate this and would be really really offended.
Is mil a bit eccentric?

That's just what I was going to say!!! I'd be delighted to get that....
This changes everything!!!

@SwerveCity

well, we're all different aren't we. In principal I'd like the the t towels, socks, coasters but anyone who knows me AtAll wouldn't give me cables, room infuser etc as they'd know I react badly to them!! So I'll swap with you 😂😂

one of my closest friends gave me a wooden, carved apple for Christmas last year. I still have no idea what that was all about as she knows I don't 'do' ornaments, there's no reason I'd want an apple or more tat as she knows I'm overwhelmed with stuff! It was very odd, But 🤷🏻‍♀️, she's my friend, I love her and a present isn't important to me. I put it out with the annual Autumn items (ceramic pumpkins etc) and it can live with them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I really want ask her 'why' but I won't.

My birthday is mid December and no one has ever bought me Christmas-themed anything.

Weird af.

Especially Christmas glasses for a birthday present just in general. Unless you've asked for them I would never gift someone something so annoying.

I agree with doing an Easter themed gift basket for her birthday, and for good measure I'd let everyone know you've converted to Judaism and no longer celebrate Christmas in any form at any time.

May be she feels its close to xmas so it can be useful. otherwise if you open xmas themed plates on boxing day the day to use them is gone. But this way you can plan whatever present into your xmas activities.
Am not going to give you any good advice because such a thing wouldnt bother me. I might think funny or odd but wouldnt take it to heart or feel the need to get back at her. Life is too precious to be bothered by something so petty

Your presents actually are useful and the Beauty Calendar was a great present - I would be very grateful. What a fuss about nothing - just be happy you get presents.

I’m in the minority as I wouldn’t mind any of the stuff she bought you. Love Christmas candles and diffusers. I’ll be using them in a few weeks. Might treat myself to the M&S advent calendar next week so if someone bought me one now I’d be pleased.

I don't know if you work but if so, why don't you re-gift them in the Secret Santa box. Otherwise, if there is anyone local requesting donations for needy families (some charities make up assorted boxes) or send them to the charity shop.
From past experience, I personally wouldn't bother rocking the boat and risk a family rift over this but keep it in mind and don't go to much trouble next time when choosing a birthday gift for your MIL.

She sounds like she’s got too much time on her hands to cause mischief! Did this incident predate the Christmas themed birthday presents? If so, I’d say you’ve got your answer as to why she’s doing it…

Ew

My birthday is January and I get the left over Xmas tatt 😩

Definitely for her March birthday give a load of Easter paraphernalia. Think rabbit mugs, egg vases, daffodil placemats. And if she asks why you can be all innocent and say ‘oh but I thought you liked holiday themed stuff’

I would love to receive one of these 🤷‍♀️

Now really, just you stop right there being all sensible and calm and giving out good advice!!!
Don't you know this is her mil we're talking about, you're supposed to call her awful names, reciprocate with a horrible bag of passive aggressive rubbish and then cut her off. For Ever!!!

You gave a great answer 🎅🌲

I gave my dd a beauty advent calendar for her birthday last week! When else are you supposed to gift one??

The thing is, I always think it’s a shame to get Christmas themed stuff on Christmas day, because you get maybe a couple of days to enjoy it but then you have to put it away and wait a whole year before you can use it again! Giving MIL the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she thinks you will enjoy using the Christmassy stuff in the run up to Christmas?

Or, if you think she’s trolling you, just pretend to really love it! Then maybe she’ll stop 😂

Most likely scenario is she’s just a lazy shopper, but look on the bright side, you can re-gift it at Christmas if you hate it!

But why should OP receive the Christmas household items as presents for her birthday? Is it a way of effectively saying that she is responsible for looking after the household, to the extent that she gets household stuff in lieu of birthday presents?

I wonder if she gives her DS items for the house for his birthday - rather than actual personal treats for him?

As someone whose birthday presents are wrapped in Xmas paper, and sometimes recycled Xmas paper, used to wrap gifts opened 3 days earlier, I understand where you're coming from. However, it doesn't really matter. Just accept the gifts and move on. Allow yourself a smile over MIL's weird behaviour but don't let it get to you. Of course she isn't trolling you. Sounds as if it's done in all innocence. You're probably just too close to this to see it clearly.

Take up crafting and start giving her "nice" home made gifts.

Is it always a beauty advent calendar? I think that’s a nice gift (you get stuff every day up to Christmas Eve) but if it’s like Christmas tat then it’s not unreasonable.

My December birthday means that I can guarantee to receive a Soap & Glory set with the Boots offer sticker still on from my MIL 😀

I would hate to be given Christmas tea towels and coasters for a birthday present. That's really scraping the barrel.

Last year from her for my birthday it was a Boots beauty advent calendar.

I would have loved that.

But these are pretty shit gifts even if they weren’t Christmas themed. Sorry, OP.

Oh no! I gave a friend a white company candle today for her birthday and chose the “Winter” one which is quite Christmassy 😞.
Hope she didn’t think this was odd!

I know this is a bit different to your scenario though OP.