It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

Yes I know it was nice last year and I used it all, thanked her profusely and didn't mind. But this year it's gone full on Christmas like no birthday stuff at all. Last year as well as the calendar I also got nice chocolates and a wee "mummy" mug. Which was nice. Like I said, I've got my hard hat on, if I'm being a total ungrateful bitch tell me. I just wanted to gauge if this is a normal thing to do for 1st Nov birthday?

I think there’s a very real chance she likes poking round the shops for things she thinks you would like and she’s shopping just as the Christmas displays are coming out. It doesn’t have to be a passive aggressive dig if as you say she generally likes you.

some people are just shit gift givers.

mid March birthday? Get her an Easter egg and some cute wooden egg ornaments for hers and she’ll either love it or get the message I would have thought.

Give her loads of Easter themed stuff for her March birthday! Don’t deal
with her controlling behaviour yourself, let your dh do this, but again on mumsnet, yet another story of a family member, who’s family have to walk on eggshells so they don’t upset them, or else they cause ‘drama’.

Scented Christmas candles a couple of Christmas tea towels, Christmas socks, a Christmas scented diffuser and Christmas coasters. Oh and also a kind of plate display thing?

Oh dear that's so wrong. On the regift idea, I've been regifted a present that I gave, it was an aunt. I thought she had forgotten who gave it to her but maybe it was a message 🤨

Last year from her for my birthday it was a Boots beauty advent calendar.

I'd love that. You open one a day, it doesn't have to start on December 1st.

You don't like her, who cares what she gives you. Just thank her and get on with your day.

My MIL always gets me a Christmas themed house item (like tea towels or hand towels) for my mid-January birthday. It's weird.

Easter themed birthday gifts from now on! Bunnykins mug?

Buy her a shit tonne of tacky Easter stuff - then say 'it's not my thing but YOU seem to love this crap'.

Totally this. Or, chuck it in a box for the charity shop and don't waste another minute thinking about it, it's ridiculous of her.

I mean that's just discounted 70% off stuff 😂

Sorry OP but I can't help laughing at that list, especially Christmas tea towels and Christmas coasters

This actually does sound like a good way of managing it. She definitely does have narc tendencies. She has fallen out with all her friends over the years. As well as colleagues, neighbours, strangers. She must be right. At. All. Times. Really dishes it out to people but cannot take it back.

I hate confrontation so never really push back. Maybe that's why she loves me (apparently) 😅

It's a bit odd that she does this if she knows you don't like it. But you can easily sell them at this time of year.

So go the other way entirely and be VERY ott enthusiastic and excited about her Xmas themed stuff next year.... And wait with baited breath to see what she does for 2026 😂😂

Probably the best approach would be to lower your expectations. If she gets you a gift you actually like and use (like last year) then that'd a mega win. If not then just be happy she got you a gift. I know what it's like to really look forward to being the one who is special and getting treated by others for a change. But maybe she is buying something she thinks is practical/useful/you will like, she just doesnt know you that well/isn't a good gift giver. Or she's a complete narc! Either way you care less and focus on those who do care xx

oh goodness, I was planning to buy a friend with a November birthday a beauty themed Advent calendar. I thought it would be a nice gift.

For Xmas gift her a bunch of stuff she can use to celebrate Chinese New Year.

I've a November birthday too (towards the end) and genuinely don't mind a Christmas themed thing or two, but it's very weird to get ONLY Christmas stuff. I'd be mightily pissed off to get teatowels and coasters though, those are generic household items not birthday presents.

id get DH to have a bit of a word and just take the drama. She's not fussed about making you feel upset so you shouldn't need to worry about upsetting her.

It's not average, but have you ever thought that she might not find you easy to buy for? Any gift from in-laws are nice in my book, but I think that's just me.

Kill her with praise if she can’t take criticism. Either you or DH could say about a month before your birthday that you are so lucky to have such a brilliant and generous MIL and would just love x or y for your birthday. Preferably something like a voucher so you can choose for yourself.

If that fails then you’ll have to turn it into an annual game and have a laugh about her mad ways.

Definitely try to get her and Easter bunny (giant) for Christmas. If you say it’s from your DC she’ll have to pretend to love it.

Why would you not say anything?

It's not being rude to point out that it's your birthday and Christmas is two months away?

'Doreen, the gifts are lovely but you must have got your Christmas presents mixed up with my birthday gifts.

I'll give them back no so you can give them to me at FUCKING CHRISTMAS!'

We!l maybe don't say the last bit.

Or

If she comes round to yours, open the gifts and then get out a birthday cake to share round and just as everyone goes to sing Happy Birthday to you.... put your had up and shout STOP and then play this loudly -

%3D%3D

To do it right you need cut price Valentine tat in time for Saint Patrick's.

I don't understand the she cannot be criticised
maybe it's time to start and when she makes a fuss tell she's a drama queen. Stop
tip toeing round her.
Hand it all back to her and say it's my birthday not xmas.