It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

No - Christmas stuff is fine. Your birthday is months away from Christmas too

Your MiL sounds like a narcissist.
Is it unreasonable to be upset with Christmas themed gifts for an October birthday? No.
Is it worth going to war with a narcissist in your own family?
Probably only you (and DH) can decide that

No get christmas stuff as it makes even more of a point. Get ot now and pop it away.
Everytime you receive christmas stuff for birthday reciprocate rhe following year for her until she gets it.

Hi can you just say which I did to my bf shall we not buy presents for each other this year just a card,perhaps we could go for lunch together instead.she was all for it because of the cost of living and the stress of having to find something,so we enjoyed our lunch together.I don't think your being unreasonable at all what's the matter with her I think it's not only distasteful but rude.

Why are you treading on egg shells around her. Yes she will cause drama, so what? Honestly she continues this way because people pussy foot her around her. Call her out or ignore. Don’t not do something for fear of her reaction. That’s insane.

People like her get my goat.

Be grateful that she thinks of you and buys you a gift.

Now I absolutely love Christmas solid personally love Christmas things for my birthday but unfortunately my birthday is in March. My Dad's birthday is 2 days after Christmas and he grew up never receiving anything for his birthday because he apparently had it for Christmas. So I always try snd buy him something he wants or give him Money which I know can come across as no effort but for my dad he enjoys receiving that so he can buy something he likes.
As for your Mil I'd re wrap and gift them back

Wrap her gifts to you and gift them back to her at Christmas. If she says anything just say oh I thought as you had bought them you liked them. Never understood why people assume they know what you like better than you do.

I eont get why you are bothered. You don't have tobaccept them or do anything with them. I presume you are an adult, just give them toba charity shop of food Bank. They take in Christmas themed items this time of year and gift them when people collect the food who have nothing at all.

You're so ungrateful!! I love my DIL to bits, I wouldn't know what was happening with them if it wasn't for her! She's amazing, funny, bright, talented, hard working and a great Mum. She doesn't like toiletries all the time and earns well so can buy herself what she needs. Vouchers seem so impersonal so I expect some of my gifts to her fall into the 'unwanted' category but what do I do? Surely it's ideal to get these things in advance of Xmas so you can use them, useless getting them on Xmas day!!

@HagsRule A beauty advent calendar in November is quite a thoughtful gift. Advent calendars are given out in November and you will get something nice out of it every day in December. I would have been pretty pleased with it. Also does it really matter that she buys your son more gifts than you for Christmas? Your love for someone is not defined by the number of presents. She wants to spoil her grandson, let her do it, as long as it's not hurting him. Have you thought about it from your son's perspective and seen how amazing it is for him to be so pampered on Christmas day? How does it make your son feel? Why make it a competition on who gives most gifts?? I'm with you on the Christmas decorative stuff, not something you want to receive on your birthday🙂

Why don't you say to her next year that the advent calendar from Boots is the best gift you have ever received. Play to the narc tendencies. She will be full of joy at the compliment and hey presto that is what you will get from then on in.

Be over thankful 🙏. If she is playing a game that will stun her and maybe she will stop.it.

Good user name

Have you read any posts past the OP's first one She has had to repeat herself so many times!

SHE LIKED THE ADVENT CALENDAR! But she only got it ONCE

Oh FFS!!

How many of the OP's posts did you read?

Yes, I realised soon after posting, by which time it was too late. Trouble is I only take the odd peak at MumsNet when at work and so don't have time to scroll through everything.

Do what my darling MIL did one year with the (very nice, or so I thought) gift we gave her. Leave it to gather a layer of dust in a cupboard for a year and then regift back to the gift giver.

Elite PassAgg behaviour. It was also the last decent gift she got from me. I let her son buy for her from then on, so last minute vouchers/garage flowers all the way.

My MiL bought me some Christmas bedding for my September birthday this year and I loved it. Friends and family regularly buy me Christmas-themed birthday gifts as I adore Christmas and usually go straight into Christmas planning mode the moment October rolls around so I always love these gifts!

Although Christmas the gifts you receive sound nice! I often get Christmas themed things off my MIL for Christmas which is usually too late -last year a 4 setting holly place mat set (there are 6 of us in the family) on Christmas day which wouldn't be used (if ever) until the following year, Christmas jumpers, even a halloween picture for my birthday in April. I know she is a bargain hunter and buys things reduced over the year. I just accept and let it go over my head.

@Nanny0gg She mentioned in a comment on this same post how her MIL wasn't happy when OP suggested that she shouldn't buy more toys than the parents

I never said she didn't like the beauty advent calendar. I just said it's a nice thing to receive in November. I also agreed the other stuff she got is not a good birthday present. I just didn't agree with the buying less presents than the parents. What is getting you so wound up about my comment??

That sounds like an amazing end Oct/Nov gift. The whole point of an advent calendar is that you get it before December. That’s a decent gift too! My MIL buys me really cheap toiletry sets and a £3 romance novel from Tesco every year. I have zero interest in either but I enthusiastically accept each time, because it’s a gift and it’s nice that she gets me anything. You sound a little entitled if I’m honest.

@PurplGirl she LIKED the advent calendar 🙄

@PurplGirl also if you know your MiL is going to buy you a paperback from Tesco every year why don't you say something like "I was in Tesco the other day and saw there's a new book by (author you like). If you're thinking of getting me a book this year I fancy reading that one".
If you've never said you don't like romance novels how is she expected to know?
(Books aren't £3 in Tesco. I wish they were that cheap)