It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

[HagsRule]

I feel ungrateful even creating this thread, but it has been bugging me all day. AIBU to feel this way? Is this weird?

Basically, it was my birthday yesterday and MIL came over today with presents for me. Over the past 5 or 6 years I've received at least one Christmas themed present for my birthday from MIL which I've thought was odd since it is almost 2 months before Christmas and I'm not really a big Christmas fan anyway.

After she did it again last year on my birthday I maybe didn't receive the Christmas themed plates and glasses as enthusiastically as she'd expected. Just to clarify I always say thank you and haven't said anything as I don't want to upset anybody and come across as ungrateful. Even posting this I feel guilty! But anyway, maybe last year my face slipped or something and I gave myself away because this year for my birthday every single present was Christmas themed and my BIL (her other son) also gave me entirely Christmas themed presents bar one book. I suspect BIL got help from his mum to buy his presents as when he handed the parcel to me he checked with his mum first to make sure that was the right gift to give me (he's almost 40 fyi).

Is she trolling me now? She must have picked up on me feeling a bit irked by it last year so she's ramped it up this year. My DH is also annoyed on my behalf and at lunch today said something about Christmas not even being on our radar until December (which to be fair is true). She looked annoyed that he said this.

Should I just suck this weird gift thing up forever more? I mean, it's just so random and I think I'd understand more if she bought me Halloween themed tat since that's the day before my birthday, but Christmas stuff? It makes even less sense.

Am I the only person who things this is really nice, I’d love some Christmas candles at this time of year. Just bought myself some today. My mother in law usually gives me some naf boots gift set and sometimes nothing. I think suck it up. If it was my own mum I’d te her but not MiL.

I have a later November birthday and have never been given a Christmas themed birthday present. I’d ask your husband to perhaps have a gentle word with her. Whilst I’m grateful for a present, I always think it’s such a waste of money when people buy random stuff, when a book or Amazon voucher would be so much better.

OP I think you've clarified 5 times now that the Boots advent gift was lovely and probably one of a few times where she got it right

But Christmas plastic plates, tea towels, scented candles and Christmas socks, serving plates are just plain weird

I have a birthday in December and I think unless you have one near Christmas and experience this regularly, it's difficult to understand how annoying it can be.

I had a group of close girlfriends who every year clubbed together and got me some lovely jewellery BUT it was Christmas themed! EVERY YEAR. I got Holly earrings, a Christmas tree broach and a beautiful necklace that had a wreath on it! I still get Christmas tableware and cinnamon scented candles

I think YANBU to be upset and I also vote for Easter themed presents for her next year

You are very greedy. Your MIL doesn't have to get you any present at all. Grow up.

You dont like her. That’s the problem.
does it matter and isn’t a gift a kindness?
you think that she saw some look on your face a year ago and is now trolling you?
perhaps she loves Christmas and thinks that Christmas themed gifts are lovely? I’d be very appreciative of any gift. Try not to take it as a slight. Don’t expect gifts. Just be grateful and polite

I would get your husband to suggest a present that you would like. Christmas themed or not it's such a waste if you get given presents that you don't appreciate. I ask for consumables or experiences (and specify what I would like early) and it saves a trip to the charity shop or worse a houseful of clutter.

Haha OP why didn't you like the Boots advent calendar!?

Just kidding, you'd think people would get it by now ;)

Yes exactly this. It’s such a greedy attitude.

Mumsnet is definitely getting meaner. People calling you mean, grasping etc. it's weird and you aren't wrong to be frustrated. Doesn't mean you hate her.

Next year well in advance can you get DH to tell her something you would really like this year?

My MIL doesn't even get me a gift so I'd be happy with anything Christmas themed 😂

But if you read the way the op describes her MIL and describes her attitudes towards receiving gifts she doesn’t want it’s clear she doesn’t like her. Not the other way round. Mil bought ops son too many gifts. But also isn’t getting op enough of the gifts she wants. Awful greedy grasping attitude

Easter tat for her all the way then. Plastic bunnies and rabbits. Maybe even a straw bonnet with dake fliwers on it.
Tit for imature tat

I would hate this. Some people are such shit gift givers. They seem to not really think of who they are buying for but more that they just need a gift... of any sort.

No advice on how to tackle this really. Sorry.

Hopefully mil reads this thread and recognises dil. And wraps her up a nice little poo poo for next gift

It's really weird. My birthday is a few days before Xmas, and this would annoy me!!!! It's my BIRTHDAY, not Xmas!!! 😂

I'd just laugh about it every year with DH behind her back and let her carry on.

See I would think that’s quite thoughtful.

I have a MIL who does this type of thing.

The best reaction is no reaction. Do not feed into her narcissistic behaviour. If she's anything like my MIL, she'll delight in behaving like the victim if you dare to question it. Open the presents, say something vague and low level appreciative like, "Oh that's Christmassy, thanks MIL!" while placing the gifts to one side. Repeat the same words if necessary. Very little emotion.

Then buy her Easter themed presents for her birthday. Every year.
After all, it's super thoughtful to buy people seasonal themed presents for birthdays, isn't it...

This is why my MIL gets tea towels and/or placemats every year.

Fair enough, I just don't think that someone reaching out on the internet entitles them to receive name calling. Sounds like a complex relationship and I think I'd err on the side of kindness.

I got nothing for my birthday

Buy Xmas stuff for her birthday in advance and then see if she dares comment. If she does just say "oh I thought you must've been dropping hints that you'd enjoy Xmas themed things for your birthday"

But this is actually just rude.

Why have people got to the point that avoiding clutter or “waste” is a more worthy goal than just being pleasant, appreciative or polite.

Things can always be regifted. A gift is something that you ought not to dictate or specify. It’s up to the person gifting what they gift.

I just find people have got too precious about what other are “ allowed” to gift them.

I think the Beauty Advent Calendar is a lovely gift! My birthday is tomorrow and I’d love that.

Some of the stuff you got this year sounds a bit random though. But I never would have pinned any hopes on a present from my MIL when I had one!

You could buy her Christmas themed items for her birthday seeing as she clearly loves them… it would be super thoughtful of you 😂