MIL only one not to say my baby looks like me

[TheAquaFawn]

My MIL never says my baby looks like me. Everyone else - friends, family, strangers, says he’s the spit of me but I noticed she stays quiet and only comments that he looks like her son / my DH and at a push, that he looks like both of us. It’s starting to annoy me, and wonder whether it’s a slight at me, am I being silly? DH isn’t insecure at all that people say he looks more like me and joins in.

Yeah you are being silly

Why does it matter?

If my MIL said DS looked like me I'd tell her she was lying, he has DHs face.
Why does it matter? She probably sees more of her son in him because she's so familiar with how his features were as a child

Maybe she secretly dislikes you.

Maybe she just doesn't think the baby looks like you...

I remember just after giving birth I was honestly offended by everything, but as someone out the other side of the fog, I can tell you that this is NOT offensive behaviour!

Congrats on the baby 🤎

You are being silly, but understandable given you're presumably a new mum and that does weird things to the best of us! My in-laws used to do this all the time - they'd literally drag up the names of the most random people DH is vaguely related to to say our children look like. "Oh I think he's really got the look of Great Aunt Griselda's second cousin John - do you remember him?"

My kids are the spitting image of me... it seems to really annoy them for some reason 🤣 I just laugh about it now.

DS1 is 14 and mil still hasn't said he looks like me!! It's always that he looks like DH! She's been that way since DS1 was born! I think she genuinely sees her own genes in him and can't see the other side of the family! Personally, I think he looks more like me than DH!! but ultimately, it does not matter AT ALL!!!

Don't worry about it OP! ;)

Maybe she just thinks your baby looks like OH did as a baby. I think you are massively overthinking it though, people tend to just sat it for something to say and really it doesn't matter at all.

I personally can never see the resemblance of a baby to a particular parent because they’re a baby.

only comments that he looks like her son / my DH and at a push, that he looks like both of us

She’s clearly not wanting to upset anyone. She never seen you as a baby and can’t/won’t comment. I never get the angst about who a baby looks like, they’re individual little human beings.

Can you not let the woman enjoy her grandchild- her little boy’s little boy- without getting offended? This one isn’t about you, it’s about her connection to the baby. You want that. You want to cherish it. That connection makes people move heaven and earth to protect the baby. It’s a survival trait.

It's like your looking for something to get annoyed at mil for.

All babies look like Churchill.

I think my granddaughter looks like my son. I can't see the resemblance to my daughter in law that others see. I knew my son as a baby, so I see those resemblances, my daughter in law's parents knew her as a baby so, unsurprisingly, they see where she looks like her mum.

Maybe she genuinely doesn't see the resemblance. I think it's quite common to mainly recognise features from your side of the family. I recognise a lot of my own features on my children, less so their dad's side.

All babies look like Winston Churchill anyway. Or a potato! What your MIL says is irrelevant, and not worth bothering about.

She probably genuinely just looks at your baby and sees the family resemblance. Some people don't like to say things they don't really believe, so that's why she is keeping quiet about the baby looking like you. I don't think it's a malicious things and I've seen threads like this before, it seems to be a thing.

Most people I know have never said who either of my children resemble- and I couldn't care less! Never occurred to me it's 'a thing'. Don't sweat the small stuff op.

Also fwiw some people genuinely are hopeless with seeing who looks like who and they can't help it, don't take it personally.my dh still refuses to admit our 6 year old looks like him but he really is the spitting image of him!

No need for anybody to say the baby looks like you, really, because they came out of your body. I suspect this archaic convention came about because the same cannot be said of fathers.

She probably sees her baby son in your baby but didn't know you when you were little. Don't obsess over this, all MiL do it

I’ve had similar. My son looks just like me to the point that strangers have commented that he’s practically my twin. I can see that he looks a lot more like me than my husband. My MIL insists that he doesn’t look like anyone. It’s as though because she can’t see a resemblance to her own family she doesn’t want there to be one at all to anyone. It doesn’t bother me but it is odd. Just ignore her. It’s honestly not important who she thinks the baby looks like.

I virtually never see the supposed resemblance between a baby and their parent! Honestly it makes me believe that most people just say it, though it’s possible everyone else sees something I don’t.

Unless this is part of a much wider issue, I’d let it go. It’s ok that she sees her son in her grandson, after all she knew him as a baby!

I had the same and it was particularly hilarious because if you talked to my MIL I literally had nothing to do with my baby whatsoever - he looked like everyone else in the family, her DS, her brother, her uncle’s dog’s mother. But everyone else I meet says he’s the spit of me. Fortunately it was the least of a number of annoying things she does so I didn’t get too invested in it! Also my dad then did the exact same thing to my SIL re my brother’s baby 🤦‍♀️

My mil will never say either of ours looks like me. We have 2 boys, they're both quite different. Granted, our eldest was the spit of my DH as a baby, that's fine! Our youngest definitely looks more like me yet she would never admit it and constantly says he's such a 'insert surname'. I find it funny to be honest as everyone else always tells her he's like me but she won't allow it. I just find it really strange!

Well maybe she’s sensitive to the fact that no one ever comments on him having any resemblance to his father
You are being silly and manufacturing a drama out of nothing imo

Honestly, they all look like little potatoes.