MIL only one not to say my baby looks like me

[TheAquaFawn]

My MIL never says my baby looks like me. Everyone else - friends, family, strangers, says he’s the spit of me but I noticed she stays quiet and only comments that he looks like her son / my DH and at a push, that he looks like both of us. It’s starting to annoy me, and wonder whether it’s a slight at me, am I being silly? DH isn’t insecure at all that people say he looks more like me and joins in.

Sorry OP I think you are reading something into this that isn't there. Your MIL will remember your DH as a baby/child, and has known him a lot longer than you so will see similarities that you can't.

I always thought my friend's DS was the spit of his Dad until I saw photos of my friend as a baby.

I would say my DCs look more like their Dad ithan me, yet other people say that one of them is my double (I can't see that).

They are a mix of both of you and people will see different things at different times.

You're being a bit daft.

My eldest DC is the clone of his father, who I divorced 20 odd years ago. Freaks me out sometimes!

Somebody thought my eldest son was adopted (and nothing wrong about being adopted of course) because we looked so unalike. That's because he looks almost exactly like his father as does his younger brother. I suppose at a pinch one got my dark hair and one got my blue eyes. Not even my mother could see a resemblance to me but she adored them both. It really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Actually my oldest feels a bit aggrieved because the men in my mother's family tended towards tall men with classic matinee idol looks and great athletic skills.

…or dislikes your looks.

Op it doesn’t really matter. Children change as they grow and resemble different people at different times.

People also see things differently. I find lots of people are very influenced by colouring, especially those who aren’t interested enough to look further: “ oh he takes after his mum.” I’ve seen this with a grey dad who was blonde as a child and has a blonde son but is married to a lady who dyes hers blonde. Others look more at build, or face shape, others eyes or smile.

This is an interesting post. I’ve often wondered if mums know if their Dc is ugly or if they’d genuinely think they were beautiful.

That’s quite a compliment to Churchill in many cases.

I wouldn't be offended. My MIL and DH say both the kids are mini him complete mirror image. (They couldn't look more opposite, not only in distinct
Features but also one is blonde, pale and blue eyes, the other dark hair, darker skin like me and brown eyes 😂) he did admit that it wouldn't matter what they looked like he would always say they look like him. I think its a proud family member thing, it's a positive sign, that they identify the baby as their own type thing.

The comforting thing about this is he has to be a mix of you both, so if all his dad’s genes went to looks, he must be like you in his essentials!

I didn't lol I thought my baby was the most beautiful being that graced the earth 😂😂 prancing around like an idiot waiting for the sea of people to part and coo as we passed. No matter how I rationalise I just can't for the life me see her any other way 😂😂

I kind of imagined every parent thought like that.

When my DS was born, I found my family and friends said he looked like me and DH family and friends said he looked like him. I didn't overthink it.

Ach. When my daughter came out, the midwife took one look at her and said 'There's no mistaking who her father is!' (My Mum's comments were along the lines ofnhow strong DH's genes were...)

Looking back, I don't see any trace of me in her tiny baby photos, and anyone who said she looked anything like me would have been lying!

It's only at 5 that I now get told that she looks at me and very little like DH (though she has DH's eye colour). However, she does look very similar to her cousins on DH's side (a very clear look...)

Agree woth the comment that newborns all look like potatoes (or Elton John). They all develop their features- seeing what happens is half of the fun!

One of my primary school teachers asked my parents whether I was adopted after being surprised that there was zero resemblance. They found it hilarious.

I still look nothing like any of my family, but my parents reassure me I was definitely not adopted (and Ancestry shows it to be true..)

Are you really trying to say your DH looks like Elton or a potato!

I have to say, even if it was true, it was an odd comment from a midwife. Lots of new mums seem hyper sensitive about it, so you’d think a midwife would know better.

I had the same midwife throughout my pregnancy and I have known her a long time, so I knew her well and she knew i would find it funny (the stars aligned and she was doing a hospital shift the day I had DD). We are also both originate from a country that can be blunt... and in our native language, it's not quite as offensive as in English.

Come to think of it, DH can look a bit potatoey (in the most affectionate way) 🤣 (I missed out the word 'most', clearly!)

Everyone has their own opinion on who a baby looks like. My ds came out the womb looking like my father and over the course of a year he looked like dhs father , me , my brother , dh and now he's just a mini me but sometimes he'll pull a face and he'll look like dh or my mother. As he gets older he'll continue to change

My first baby was the spitting image of a well known celebrity chef. I’d have been pretty annoyed if people kept saying she looked like me! Honestly you’re being silly.

It is more than possible that IN HER EYES the baby more closely resembles her son than you. There is zero point arguing about it. I've seen many babies where people have said it's the spit of one or other of the parents but I cannot for the life of me see it. I am not choosing not to see it, I just cannot see the resemblance which is unquestionably there in the eyes of others. Please don't make this a thing with your MIL, unless you want to make yourself look foolish.

My MIL said our son was the spitting image of my DH's stepfather...

I think this is a thing and I understand why it’s annoying!

Our DD (DC2) looks like a mix of my PILs - genuinely could be another child of theirs - looks like all of DH, his brother and his sister - as if there is none of me in there at all. PILs refuse to acknowledge this and have always said she looks like me.

By contrast, BIL (their other son) had a DD around the same time who actually takes after her mum, and they never shut up saying how like BIL she is. They generally favour BIL (golden child) and his DD over DH and our kids and this is all part of it. They want to claim ownership over DNiece but they don’t really give a shit about my DD.

You sound like hard work . Why do you need to make a drama out of something so ridiculous. You can't control what people say or think.
Maybe give her a list of things she should say to you

My MIL always says she can never see me or our SIL in her grandkids, only ever her sons, she is just convinced they don’t look anything like us. It’s quite funny how adamant she is but we aren’t offended by it, I think everyone perceives babies differently and she is just probably remembering hers as babies. It doesn’t really mean anything as it doesn’t matter who or what they look like and ultimately they look like THEM!

It does not matter who the child looks like, especially as a baby.
My son looked very like my DH as a baby/child but he's more like me/my side of the family now.

When ds was born most people said he looked like dh. I didn’t mind, he was just ds to me.
We went to visit an aunt one day and she found a baby photo of me. It was like looking at ds.
I think in certain situations dc look like one dp more than the other.

Neither of my children looks like me, they are very like DH. It really doesn’t bother me. I think you’re probably overthinking it.

However it is true that some GP can behave a bit strangely. My children are both very bright and my mother only attributes this to my side of the family. DD is also quite musically talented which I am not. Mum was keen to tell me about her cousin who was also very talented so that’s probably where DD got it from. I suggested that possibly she got it from DH who taught himself to play piano?