MIL only one not to say my baby looks like me

[TheAquaFawn]

My MIL never says my baby looks like me. Everyone else - friends, family, strangers, says he’s the spit of me but I noticed she stays quiet and only comments that he looks like her son / my DH and at a push, that he looks like both of us. It’s starting to annoy me, and wonder whether it’s a slight at me, am I being silly? DH isn’t insecure at all that people say he looks more like me and joins in.

My first born son is literally a carbon copy of me..however my husbands aunt used to bang on about how much he looks like his dad ( funnily enough as an adult he looks nothing like his dad still, he's even 5 inches taller than him!) It annoyed me too

Is everyone who days baby looks like you making a slight to your dh? No. So why would mil saying she can see the features that baby shares with dh be a slight on you?

Your child is a mix of both your dna and as your hearing it from everyone else does it seriously matter that 1 person doesn't? I would only be baffled by it if dh wasn't the father. My mil once made comment ds hair was from step fil. Obv this is impossible and the hair comes from my genes. I didn't take offence just left puzzled at her logic

This. I see my own expressions in my son’s face, but my PIL’s only see DH. I refrain from pointing out that DS has always been a child strangers coo over, whereas DS looked like a freckled gnome at the same age.

Why would she say he looks like you when she doesn’t think he does? How strange

Yes, you're being silly. Maybe she doesn't see a resemblance. Big deal.

This. Congratulations on your baby. Babies and kids look like one, other, both parents to more or less degrees as they grow.

Thanks everyone, I am probably reading into it too much. Also it’s helped to know this isn’t uncommon!

My 1st baby was so ugly, not a cute baby AT ALL. I was annoyed that MIL kept saying how much he DID LOOK LIKE ME

My mil always comments how much my dc look like me when in reality they are the image of dh. It's her opinion, don't take it personally.

Don't make a drama out of this - in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter!

Yes, you’re being unreasonable.

Those MiLs eh. Liking their sons more than their DiLs.

My MIL made pointed comments that DS1 looked nothing like her son or any of her family for over a year. He is the spit of DH now but I found it pretty offensive at the time.

It's very irritating but it's an evolutionary thing, she wants your child to look strongly like her family as part of her bonding process and it sounds like they don't right now.

I don't think it's unusual. My PIL often claimed that DS got what were entirely normal baby/toddler traits from their side of the family. Like it was only ever babies in their family that waved or something.

I wonder if it's something specific to members of the dad's family. As a PP said, there's never a question of maternal lineage (if that's the right word) but, without a DNA test, nobody other than the mother can be certain of paternity. I also wonder if, in my PIL's case, they are worried that DS will be closer to my side of the family and so are trying to claim him as one of their own too.

My son was born with blue eyes that got darker. I commented on them turning brown and mil said "yeah that's a shame." I found it incredibly rude as my eyes are brown! The worst part is I don't think she was really meaning to be rude so it was her honest opinion that just slipped out.

I think people do just prefer to see their own genes passed on.

Get a grip

Different people see different things in children, mannerisms etc, them at remind them of their loved ones. I used to laugh that my mum would say how my children were so obviously from our side of the family with their looks and then we would see MiL and she would say the same thing about her side of the family!!

Drama over nothing
Never got this childish obsession about sulking when someone says the baby looks like their father. Isn’t that a compliment? You obviously thought his father was attractive enough to sleep with him?

Yeah I understand this, my son is blonde (at the moment anyway, I know hair usually darkens) and my mil, who is generally lovely, says I wonder where the blonde came from? Must be someone further back in the family. She said this to me, a natural blonde, with blonde grandparents. I just thought did she forget I had involvement with this child? But put it down to her looking for her own connection with him or something?

100% this

Eh? This was literally never a topic of conversation when mine were babies. There really must be a strong resemblance for all those people to comment on how much DBaby looks like you. In which case, is it really necessary for MiL to chime in to reiterate what you already know?

Truth is, young babies look like babies and very rarely like anyone. People say this to be polite unless there’s strong familiar features but they tend to come out later. Your mil probably doesn’t mean anything by it, she just tries to build ties with her newest family member. I wouldn’t be mad.

We have three kids ILs thought they all looked like my XH as babies. They are themselves, they don't need to resemble me or their dad or any other relative for that matter. Why is it such a big deal to you that your MIL says they look like you? Its a lot of drama over something that means nothing at all.

Seriously, as if there was only one involved. Some genes are stronger. I have a friend whose kid (now primary age) looks like a mini version of her husband, and not her but she’s not so insecure to think that’s not funny.

I think it is very subjective and in most cases children have features of both parents. One of my kids I only see resemblance to their sibling but not the parents and different people say they look like one parent or the other, the funniest are a couple of relatives claiming they look like them!