Why are all MILs so horrible?

[Janey638]

Does something happen to the mums of sons that makes them awful when they become a MIL? For years I’ve been a bit of a lurker on this site and I’m shocked by the amount of MIL posts, hardly any about the maternal mum. It looks like MILs are too overbearing if they want to hold a new baby, or too remote if they keep their distance. As a mum to three boys this all really depresses me. Literally does everyone hate their MIL?

I’m not. I’m bloody awesome.

I learned how to do it well from my own awesome MIL. She was fucking fantastic and I miss her every day.

My MIL is my best friend. She's simply amazing. I hope she's taught me a few things if I'm ever lucky enough to be a MIL myself.

Mine is lovely.

But she's also willing to see the faults in her own son and not think I'm the big bad wolf and he's a poor angel.

Alot of MILs blame the DIL for a change in their relationship with their son. Whereas in reality its the DIL's trying to get him to call/contact.

Mine was lovely… until we got engaged!

Now I avoid her and use her for the very occasional babysitting. That’s all she is to me, a babysitter.

I think I’ll be a great mil.

My children’s paternal granny was a lovely woman, far better than her son.

In more than half of the cases that people seem to post about, it's a DH problem not a MIL problem imo.

Same!

I adore mine.

She's intelligent, cosmopolitan, empathetic, well-read.

Mine was like a second mum to me. Until we got married and had a baby, she just changed, what feels like, overnight. It will always make me sad. I hope, I can learn from that, for my own DC.

They aren't. Mine is great.

First time I met her, she got me drunk on wine. 😁

Great woman.

My ex h was a prick but his mum is lovely, she still sends Christmas cards!

my husbands mum is also lovely, married for 20 years and she’s been a far better mother to me than my own ever was!

My MIL is great! She's been staying with us since the end of September but is due to go home this weekend (boooo). Hopefully she'll stay with us again soon.

Why are all MILs said to be narcissistic ?

Is it something that happens in utero when carrying a boy? Because lots of men think their mil is fine🤷🏻‍♀️

I guess it depends on who provides free childcare

Nope. My ex MIL was so lovely, still text her now. I loved planning stuff for her when she was visiting

Thank you @Janey638 for starting this thread. As a mother of boys, it’s so lovely to see all these “my MIL is fantastic” posts,something I thought I’d never see on MN.

I don’t particularly like mine as she tends to massively overstep, is vocally jealous if we spend time with my family (who I see less than her) and is mildly judgmental about parenting.

However, it’s lack if happiness in her own life and relationship that seems to drive these behaviours. This is the same with most people that exhibit them, not just MIL relationships.

Mine was a dream. Kind, pleasant, never ever meddled.

I got lucky, I know many aren't great.

I'm divorced but still love my ex-mil. She has been a wonderful mil and a fabulous grandma to my son. I get on well with my sister in laws too.

My MIL was fab.I am now close to my DIL,I love her to bits,she has no contact with her own Mother.

Mine is lovely! Sils on the other hand are not. Can't win 'em all I suppose!

I love my MIL. She's a lovely, kind and caring woman. Neither of us are perfect, but I do feel very lucky to have married into such a great family.

I will say, we're child free. Maybe our relationship would be different if hubs and I had kids. She definitely wasn't as nice to SILs (now) ex. But he was a moron, so 💁😂

I love my MIL! She is absolutely lovely.

My mil is absolutely lovely — fun, interesting, interested. My mum otoh is vile. So my brother’s wife, my poor SIL, has the nasty mil here…

I had a lovely MiL who I miss terribly. I try my best to be a good MiL to my children's spouses.

Me and my mother in law do not and will not ever get on. Me and my dh have been no contact for little under a year now and will never speak to her again. She is absolutely awful. However, she is a horrible person. My ex mil is lovely, I still see her for a coffee and catch up and talk often. I wish she was still my mil (not the son though lol I’m happy with my dh)