Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Please tell me if I am, honestly I dont know if I am over reacting or not.

136 replies

nappynoonoo · 25/04/2008 12:32

On Wednesday DH and I had DH's best friend and partner over for tea. We were eating our pudding (Choc cake and Ice cream) when DH's best friend reaches over to DD and gives her some ice cream off the end of his spoon.

DD is 5 MO and exclusively BF. So not only is it un hygenic to feed a child from your own spoon, it is also rude to assume I would be ok with this.

I told him not to do that, and he said a little bit wouldn't hurt her. DH also told me to stop being so over protective. DD is my PFB but I really dont think I am being over protective in this situation.
I told them (DH and his friend) that it was not up for discussion. I know DH wants to start spoon weaning DD ASAP. But I want to wait till 6 MO to start BLW.

I have been seething about this since Wednesday. DH's best friend agreed with me that it is un hygenic but also said a little wont hurt DD.
I mean I know a small ammount wont hurt DD, but FGS she is not having anything other than BM until we start BLW.

What do you think? Am I being OTT and over protective with my PFB?

OP posts:

Hecate · 25/04/2008 12:33

Nope.

Original poster

nappynoonoo · 25/04/2008 12:33

Sorry that was DH's Best friends partner who agreed with me

OP posts:

sixtus · 25/04/2008 12:33

Nope! I would have been the same!

oliviaelanasmum · 25/04/2008 12:33

I would say you are over reacting a bit, if it was only a tiny amount i cant really see the problem. I can see your point about the hygene issues though.

CountessDracula · 25/04/2008 12:34

No if you are waiting til 6 months then you are

Ridiculous that someone would do that!

woodenchair · 25/04/2008 12:34

YANBU Your baby, your choice, especialy as she's only 5 months old and you haven't started weaning yet!

NotABanana · 25/04/2008 12:34

I totally understand where you are coming from and in his defence he may not have realised the significance to you of what he was doing or seen a problem with giving a 5 month old a bit of ice cream. I can guarantee a mother wouldn't have done it.

Maybe you could compromise on a starting date with your DH for starting the baby on BLW. It is nice he is interested and it is his baby too.

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 25/04/2008 12:35

hmm... probably. But with good reason.

I would go ballistic if someone did this to one of mine.

It seems like quite a trivial thing, but that's not the point, you have made the decision to wait until she is 6 months old, and that is that.

Does he have kids of his own? Perhaps he just forgot where he was, iykwim, and did exactly what he would have done with his own, and is now trying to make it seem like not a big deal.

Don't have any advice about what to do next, other than reiterate your decision to wait.

2point4kids · 25/04/2008 12:35

Arses - all of them except for you.
I'd have been fuming.

HeadFairy · 25/04/2008 12:35

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask first, my bil keeps trying to give my ds chocolate biscuits and cakes... he's 7 months old but I'd like to be asked first, I might not want to fill him up with chocolate and sugar. He (my bil) thinks it's some kind of funny game to wind me up! grrrr

BaDaBing · 25/04/2008 12:35

You are being a little bit pfb but the people around you should respect that and not try and over rule you. Don't get too caught up in the anger, just be aware that your dh's best friend is a bit of a twat.

Hecate · 25/04/2008 12:35

I think the point is, it's not up to the friend to decide, and having been told by a parent do not give my child this, it is NOT their place to argue with the parent. I'd do my frigging nut if someone did that to me. My child, my rules. baby came out of MY fanjo, I've got control!

fluffyanimal · 25/04/2008 12:36

It's not so much the actual food or the hygiene as the fact that he made an assumption about how you want to raise your child. He should have said "Would dd like a little of my icecream?" I would never presume to try to feed a baby who wasn't mine. You don't even know about allergies etc yet.

Alderney · 25/04/2008 12:37

Do your friends have babies..??

I think that is the essential crux - if they don't then they are very unlikely to know/understand anything about exclusive breastfeeding and baby lead weaning from 6 months.

If they have children they I'd like to think they would have checked with you...

If they don't have children, then you have to give them a bit of a break for simply not having a clue...

harpsichordcarrier · 25/04/2008 12:37

Iwouldn't have a problem with the hygiene tbh but I didn't want my dcs to have any cow's milk at all until six months, because even a tiny bit can trigger an allergy or reaction
so no yanbu

berolina · 25/04/2008 12:37

I was once eaten alive on here for starting a marital incident over dh giving (allergy risk) 7mo ds1 ice-cream. But fair enough, I had startd weaning him. At 5mo and excl bf I'd be pretty pissed off too - with the disrespect as well. YANBU.

ComeOVeneer · 25/04/2008 12:38

Does dh's friend have children. If not he is prob unaware about how/when to start weaning. I know plenty of dh's friends who would be quite likely to do the same as they have no idea about babies. DH probably said what he did because he felt awkward about you "telling off" his friend.

I agree if you are choosing to wait until 6 months he shouldn't have done it, but I wouldn't get so worked up about it.

Carnival · 25/04/2008 12:38

A small amount of the herpes virus could indeed hurt, he could have a mouth full of ulcers for all you know. I know I'm taking it to extremes, but really YANBU.

nailpolish · 25/04/2008 12:38

you are overreacting on the hygiene side of things

hasnt your child ever put a toy in her mouth? or a handful of grass from the garden?

MrsMattie · 25/04/2008 12:39

No, the ice cream won't have harmed your baby, but YANBU to not want people just randomly leaning over and feeding things to your baby. It's inappropriate. I would never give a small child, let alone a baby, something to eat without asking their parents if it was OK.

The BLW versus spoon feeding thing is a separate issue that you and your DH will have to negotiate between you.

ComeOVeneer · 25/04/2008 12:42

Carnival, I'm sure even if he isn't a parent, I'm sure if he did have a mouthful of ulcers he won't be daft enough to feed a baby off the same spoon. Like others I wouldn't be terribly bothered about the hygien issue (at 5 moths I bet a lot worse has already been in the moutn).

nailpolish · 25/04/2008 12:43

and dont get wound up about spoon weaning/BLW

i LOVED weaning my children, its a lot of fun, for you and them, you can spoon for some things (you ahve a spoon and so do they) and BLW for others. honestly, its fun, when you see their face tasting something for the ifrst time

Original poster

nappynoonoo · 25/04/2008 12:43

No he doesn't have any of his own.
I know it is great that DH is interested in the whole weaning issue, but he has been pushing it now since DD was 3.5 mo. I know DD is his too, but really he should have backed me up. He knew what I had decided. I know it sounds bad when I say about me deciding, but DH will expect me to do all of the work with regards to the weaning. I will have to cook, make, heat and prepare all of the meals for DD just so that he can feed her.

So I would be doing all of the work IYSWIM, so I feel it is up to me to decide when we start.

God I sound awful now dont I.

I probably was being a bit PFB and all that, I know it's not big deal and it wont hurt her. But it still P*ed me off.

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 25/04/2008 12:44

i'd have been furious too. BUT, if they don't have children then they probably have no concept of how you would feel about this. they would see it as a nice treat for the baby. baby missing out and all that. probably no idea about the 6 month thing, let alone blw etc. i was peed off when one of MILs friends started putting pear in dd's mouth without asking, about a week into blw. she just picked up a piece and pushed it into her mouth. god i was cross, but i calmly said 'oh she feeds herself, just leave it on her tray and she'll pick it up if she wants it.' am sure she thought was a freak. hey ho.

Original poster

nappynoonoo · 25/04/2008 12:44

LOL, hecate, baby came out of my fanjo. I'l have to remember that one

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6