Please tell me if I am, honestly I dont know if I am over reacting or not.

[nappynoonoo]

On Wednesday DH and I had DH's best friend and partner over for tea. We were eating our pudding (Choc cake and Ice cream) when DH's best friend reaches over to DD and gives her some ice cream off the end of his spoon.

DD is 5 MO and exclusively BF. So not only is it un hygenic to feed a child from your own spoon, it is also rude to assume I would be ok with this.

I told him not to do that, and he said a little bit wouldn't hurt her. DH also told me to stop being so over protective. DD is my PFB but I really dont think I am being over protective in this situation.
I told them (DH and his friend) that it was not up for discussion. I know DH wants to start spoon weaning DD ASAP. But I want to wait till 6 MO to start BLW.

I have been seething about this since Wednesday. DH's best friend agreed with me that it is un hygenic but also said a little wont hurt DD.
I mean I know a small ammount wont hurt DD, but FGS she is not having anything other than BM until we start BLW.

What do you think? Am I being OTT and over protective with my PFB?

I do think you are overeacting a little on the hygiene side, but YANBU at all about your dh's friend giving your dd ice cream.

I would have been livid if someone had done that to either of my children (and with good reason too, as it turns out they are both dairy intolerant - somehting which your dh's friend ahs not even considered...)

I would also have been livid if I had already started weaning my dds - I'm with hecate, MY children, MY rules, and I don't care who thinks I'm being overprotective as a result (I mean in RL - PIL are constantly trying to slip somethin or other to my dds, which given food intolerances is a pain)

I didn't shout at him or anything. I just said to him 'don't do that', to which he and DH replied a little bit wont hurt her. To which I said 'It's not up for discussion, you (to DH) know what the plan is regarding weaning'

It was when they had gone that I told DH I wasn't very happy with him for not backing me up.

"So I would be doing all of the work IYSWIM, so I feel it is up to me to decide when we start.

God I sound awful now dont I."

No you don't. I waited until a day my DH could be there when DS1 had his first taste of baby rice but after that it was up to me as I did all the shopping, cooking, etc etc.

Oh yes, nappy, I have a great discussion ender when the interfering bods start. I say "Feel free to be in charge of anyone that you push out of your body. This one...is MINE" And then I give them The Look.

yanbu I don't think it would hurt her but people shouldn't do it without asking you.

when ds was 4 months old exclusively bf I nipped to the loo in a shop and left ds with my friend when i came back she had gave him an onion ring to chew on??? WTF

an onion ring .

YANBU re the assumption it's ok to give your not-yet-weaned baby something to eat without asking you,

but YABU re the hygiene thing. I am sure your DD puts far dirtier things in her mouth!

The point is, though, that you embarrassed DH in front of his friends, which is a cardinal sin for men!

I don't think you were being unreasonable given your aims/beliefs, but I think you need to step back a bit and realise that many people, especially those who are child-free, won't have the first clue about what you're trying to achieve and why it's so important.

Nope I would of been furious 2

I think I'd be a bit cross about him assuming that he could just do that without asking. Other than that - I couldn't get worked up about it.

BIWI, I can see what you are saying, it makes sense, but then HE should have told his friend no to do it.

But men hey

YANBU - disgusting - reminds me of the time DS was small and I had to leave the main hall at work to go into the next room. I left DS being fed by a colleague, only to walk back in 5 minutes later to see her chewing his food, spitting it back onto his spoon and then feeding him!

All she had to say for herself was "thats how I fed my babies" bleurgh

YANBU. I would have been furious in the same situation.

OMG Joash, that is disgusting I am shocked that someone would do that for their own DC let alone anyone elses DC.

Yes, he should have done, but instead you told him off!

Sorry, that sounded as if I was being unsupportive of you which I didn't mean to be!

Just only too aware what sensitive little flowers our men can be ...

LOL BIWI, I know they are so tough on the outside but have a soft centre. Bless em'

I don't think uabu in terms of being annoyed about him just assuming that something was ok. I personally wouldn't have been worried about the hygiene or to some extent what the food was but I would have been annoyed at the assumption that it is ok for him to feed your child somthing without asking first. Its not about whether what happened will do your child any harm, it's about going against a decision you have made.

DebiTheScott, I think that is why I was quite PFB about it IYSWIM. and the fact that DH disn't back me up despite us discussing weaning and knowing how I felt. DH is so supportive usually and we pretty much agree on most things.

But I suppose I cant expect him to agree with me all of the time.

Ah reminds me of when my MIL fed half a slice of toffee cheescake to DD (6 months) I was furious.

YANBU

YANBU at all.

My SIL did this with DD with a sponge finger when she was 5 mths old.

Just as well she dropped it and disregarded it because she had various allergies and it could have done her some harm.

I really do think other people should ask the parent before offering anything. Doesnt matter how big or small.

Hygiene thing wouldnt bother me though.

BLW is a good way to go, no need to faff about with purees and spoons.

VVVQV, I like the idea of BLW, I must admit to not knowing alot about it, so I must do some research soon as DD will be 6 MO soon.

If you don't have small children perhaps you don't realise the significance of this action. So to you it doesn't seem like an overreaction, to him it probably does. And to me a little, if I'm honest. Tell him not to do it again.

I am going to be v unpopular here but I do think you are taking it a bit too seriously. I know it seems that they will babies for ever and bfing and blw and all that seem so important and part of your parenting package but...You may have to relax a bit. Your child is not a task to be carried out correctly. I know, I'm a bit slack and a bit old fashioned in this but I think we can over parent at times. On the other hand, even I had standards when my dd1 was 6 months old and good on you for trying. No offense I hope. I'm a crap mum most of the time tbh so don't know why I'm butting in!