Please tell me if I am, honestly I dont know if I am over reacting or not.

[nappynoonoo]

On Wednesday DH and I had DH's best friend and partner over for tea. We were eating our pudding (Choc cake and Ice cream) when DH's best friend reaches over to DD and gives her some ice cream off the end of his spoon.

DD is 5 MO and exclusively BF. So not only is it un hygenic to feed a child from your own spoon, it is also rude to assume I would be ok with this.

I told him not to do that, and he said a little bit wouldn't hurt her. DH also told me to stop being so over protective. DD is my PFB but I really dont think I am being over protective in this situation.
I told them (DH and his friend) that it was not up for discussion. I know DH wants to start spoon weaning DD ASAP. But I want to wait till 6 MO to start BLW.

I have been seething about this since Wednesday. DH's best friend agreed with me that it is un hygenic but also said a little wont hurt DD.
I mean I know a small ammount wont hurt DD, but FGS she is not having anything other than BM until we start BLW.

What do you think? Am I being OTT and over protective with my PFB?

[nappynoonoo]

reikizen, I'm sure your not a crap mum at all. I think it was more the fact that he didn't ask if he could and that DH didn't back me up.

I sound as if I need to be in control of everything don't I. I am honestly not like that.

If I'm really honest I probably would have started spoon feeding by now if I could be bothered. But it is so much easier at the minute to be able to whip a nork out and feed her.
DH is great and does pull his weight, just as long as I have done ALL of the prep work. As long as I have all the nappies washed a ready to use he will change her. As long as I sterilize/make up/ warm the bottles will he give her EBM ect ect. So this is one of the reasons I want to BLW as I would have to do all of the work with regards to spoon feeding.

[evenhope]

YANBU. My mum's friend tried to give my 11 mo champagne on holiday then gave her ice-cream and cream a few days later.

(it was when she walked her to the edge of a very steep drop I'd finally had enough...)

[nappynoonoo]

evenhope.

[krang]

I think you are being waaaay too paranoid, to be honest. A tiny bit of ice cream will not hurt your baby in any way whatsoever. Chill. They're pretty tough. And I speak as someone whose DS has eaten cat sick, his own poo...you get the idea.

[Doodle2U]

Not read whole thread.

No, YANBU but it's happened, so stop seething because it's wasted energy which you could put to better use!

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

I would be furious too. What's BLW?

[nappynoonoo]

I take it I've got all of this to come then Krang

I know the ice cream wont hurt her, but it just P'd me off that he would do that without even asking.
I wouldn't even give somebodys dog a treat without asking FGS.

[daydreambeliever]

Hi nappynoonoo, I think maybe try to relax a bit, I had a similar situation, I guess I would have gone with the exclusive BLW thing left to myself, but DH was having a blast giving DD bits of this and that from 3 months!! And she did love it and seemed hungry. DH's folks got in on the act and they are forever giving her bits of whatever, usually well intentioned( stews made with meat and veg and...a truck load of stock cubes with salt etc in them), sometime less so ( jelly, chocolate mousse). I make most of her food so I feel a bit more relaxed about bits of this and that from the inlaws. And they are so good with her!! They love having her around so I would be careful with interrupting the flow. Your DH's BF will likely have kids one day, they may be hosting a houseful of your kids with theirs for a sleepover while you and DH put your feet up, its nice if he is comfortable watching out for your DD.

DD is ten months old. I have had to have words with an elderly uncle who wanted to give her whisky! have had to put my foot down over letting her drink tea. But she did manage to eat a little bit of her own poo 2 days ago I am ashamed to say that I had taken her nappy off to air her little bum, I was right next to her but before I knew it she had crapped on the carpet and was tasting it......

I think some experts think that if you introduce potential allergens whilst still bfing it can reduce chances of allergies. Either way you are obviosly doing a very good job with your DD and are doing the best for her. Good luck when you do wean her.

[krang]

I know it's annoying when other people interfere - I have a mother-in-law who spent DS's first year obsessively trying to feed him cheesecake, trifle, etc - but it's not worth getting het up about. Honestly.

(Hopefully you will not be a terrible mother like who misses the cat sick on the dark-coloured rug until it's in her child's mouth but yes, do expect your DD to come running in with worms, snails, God-knows-what in her mouth in a year or so's time! You'll look back fondly to the days when all you had to worry about was icecream...)

[nappynoonoo]

lol Krang. I better make sure the dog isn't sick in the house when DD gets older.

[krang]

Just for the record, I asked the vet about the catsick incident and he had hysterics and said that as long as the cat was wormed there was no need to worry! Information that might come in useful!

[newgirl]

I think you are overeacting.

He had no idea and wont do it again so id let it go completely.

no harm was meant.

[obimomkanobi]

Have i stepped into a crazy parallel universe? he offered a tiny taste of ice cream not fecking crack cocaine.

You have a serious case of the PFB's and need to get over yourself ASAP.

[giddybiddy]

I don't think you are over reacting at all. It is hard work to breast feed exclusively and you've made the decision to do this and not to wean until after 6 months presumably to reduce any risk of allergy. It sounds like it is ignorance on the part of this man rather than anything else, but your feelings in this matter should certainly be respected and I would be annoyed if my DH didn't back me up in my decisions about b/feeding/weaning since as you say it is the DM doing it generally! Realistically though it won't have done your baby any harm I am sure, so I wouldn't worry about it if you feel that your point has been respected and taken on board.

[bergentulip]

nannynoonoo- Ach. re the champagne..... on my Ds1's first birthday, I stuck my finger in a glass and he sucked it off.... well, it was his birthday.
Unless she let your child have a gulp evenhope, a wetting of the lips is not really worth the emoticon.

And before you all start thinking that I am poisoning my child, it was ONCE, and I am generally-speaking VERY strict on what goes into my children's bodies, all organic, all home-cooked, no sweeties/chocolate etc... and of course no alcohol(!!!!).....

Having said that, extremely out of order for someone else to offer your child something like that !! For that reason, okay, is in order!

[MrsTittleMouse]

We feel guilty sometimes at how little we treat DD like a PFB, but I would go crazy with someone feeding her without my permission even now (she's 18 months). I would never feed a child of any age, without discussing it with the parents. And I was horrified whenever I heard about someone feeding a small child Whotsits (or whatever) even before I even wanted children. There are so many allergies around and there is just no way of knowing.

I think that your DH was embarrassed that you told his friend not to do something and has backed him up not to lose face (not because he particularly agrees with him).

[nappynoonoo]

MrsTM, that sounds about right with regards to DH not wanting to loose face. Ahhh men politics hey, will we ever understand them??

I know I am probably being PFB, but I still think it is highly rude (Children or none) to feed someone elses baby something without asking at least one parent.

[obimomkanobi]

Can I just say a lick of ice cream off a spoon isn't 'feeding' a child. I feel sorry for any child who has had a taste of nothing but milk for 5 months.

[Trolleydolly71]

Message withdrawn

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Why obi? Breastmilk is delicious. It'll have the rest of its life to taste things - why the rush to stick things in their mouths?

noonoo - check out www.babyledweaning.com

[Alderney]

Quote

I didn't shout at him or anything. I just said to him 'don't do that', to which he and DH replied a little bit wont hurt her. To which I said 'It's not up for discussion, you (to DH) know what the plan is regarding weaning'"

I think that part of the problem may well have been how you spoke - I do think you were being unreasonable to talk to you DH like that in front of his friends...

[obimomkanobi]

Veni - I don't think a lick of ice cream, or a bit of gravy or something off a finger at 5 months is going to cause life long problems.

Personally, I think that not introducing a variety of tastes at that stage is setting yourself up for problems. Note I said tastes - not feeding (IMO 2 different things)

But I've only successfully weaned 4 children (who haven't dropped dead or developed those dreaded allergies that people are so very paranoid about) so what would I know!

There is rampant PFB-ness on this board...in a few years time some of you will look back on your uptightness and blush - that's if you have time betwixt driving your PFB's to advanced latin and pureeing organic mung beans.

[pointydog]

You were a little Nanny McPhee in your tone, I think.

What strikes me is comments about how the dad will only do certain childcare chores, how he shirks the dull stuff but then he gets told off for any views that don't fit in with the mother's and it's all about him having to go along with her feeding choices.

[Flibbertyjibbet]

I really wouldn't bother about lactose intolerance from the bit of ice cream - have you read the ingredients on ice cream recently? Unless the name is DAIRY ice cream it doesn't have to contain anything thats ever been near a cow. Dairy ice cream only has to contain something ludicrous like 5% of anything thats come from a cow, and that includes just whey. Not milk. SO unless it was home made genuine ice cream made from cream and eggs (egg allergy anyone???) tis mostly full of pig fat. More reason to worry if you are Jewish or Muslim (?) than lactose intolerant.

[Flibbertyjibbet]

BTW if I spoke to my DP like that in front of his friends 'its not up for discussion you know what the plan is' ...

Well I don't know what MY dp would have said because
a) I would never talk to him like that in front of his friends and
b) we discuss everything to do with the children and if he makes a small diversion some days then so bloody what? I divert from the plans all the time but in our house its called 'going with the flow'