Friend's daughters are so rude

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A bit of a delicate situation. My best friend has 2 teenager daughters, neither of whom say so much as "thank you" when I send them birthday/Christmas presents. In the past, I would always ask her what the girls would like for presents and friend would give me a few ideas. But in last couple of years I've stopped bothering to ask because I never get a thank you anyway. The girls have quite niche hobbies, so presents were usually centered around those. I'd order from specialist suppliers. It ended up being expensive and totally thankless so I've just started to send them a bit of chocolate and bath sets etc. AIBU to think it's just rude not to say thank you? My own kids are the same age as hers and I've always made sure they either write or message people to say thank you for gifts.

Really rude.
I don't expect a letter to be written, a text message is sufficient.
Really rude not to acknowledge it.
I would completely dial it back to a generic cheap gift.

Unless they live miles away, I think its actually rude to send a present rather than making the effort to give it in person, that way you surely get a thanks??

Saying that I have had always made my children say thanks to people for presents, does their mum thank you? Do they have your number? Maybe they think she has said thanks on their behalf

The point is that you make them say thank you until it's ingrained in them. Kids don't spend their own money or go shopping for gifts so they don't appreciate the effort. When they are older it's second nature.

I can't imagine any of the parents on here not thanking their child for the lovely gift they made at school or whatever. I'm intrigued now what the " you only want thanks for your ego" parents say to theirs.

Hear, hear! It's a parent's job to teach their child manners.

It's the height of bad manners not to thank the sender for a gift you receive. My ex-husband's nieces & nephew never, in all the years we were married and sent them presents for their birthdays and at Christmas, never ever bothered to thank us for what we sent, so in the end I refused point-blank to bother buying gifts for them. A written thankyou letter would have been ideal, but a phone call would have ben acceptable, but we never even got that.

We bought presents up to the time they started secondary school, then something for their 18th and 21st birthdays, but nothing else. I told my ex that I refuse to waste my time and effort on his uigrateful relatives who haven't the basic manners to contaxt us to say thank you, and he agreed.

One of my friends has very rude DCs too. They can't seem to bring themselves to say please or thank you and my friend puts it down to them being shy. 🙄 I so want to tell her that it's because they're spoilt brats. My friend is like a slave to those kids.

I think it is different.

I'm not British by culture, though I was born here. I didn't know about thank you cards etc until I was an adult. I would just say thanks when someone gave me a gift, or my parents would if given to them to pass to me. We're not really a gift sending kind of culture though, so don't remember getting gifts in the post, more likely to get given cash the next time I saw someone who had missed a birthday or something. My children do the same as I did.

The majority of people on this thread sound bonkers imo, but that's because we're all different. The concept of 'manners' is so culturally specific, the idea that we all conform to the same set is crazy.

I agree with the person who likened it to something from an Austin novel!

Basic manners are not old fashioned! I didn’t think the OP had an issue with the written part specifically - just the complete lack of acknowledgement in any form. If you really have an issue with writing (and are your kids really are too “cool” and modern to simply write “thank you” on a piece of paper?), then teach them to text a little thank you or even better, look people in the eye in person to say it next time you see them.
So rude to assume you “just don’t do it” because it’s old fashioned.

You're a bit intense if you like to see the white of your gift receiver's eyes when you thank them. I can imagine you gripping and shaking their hands in a old style clasp off also. V old hat.

😂 No staring and clasping required - just if you can’t be arsed to even teach your kids to text “thanks for the gift” then they should be able to at least say it in person next time you’re around the giver? If you think it’s fine to teach your kids to accept a gift, not acknowledge it or thank anyone and mumble something incomprehensible to the floor then that’s up to you, but to me that comes across pretty rude - even more so for older children/teens. Isn’t it common decency to look at the person you’re speaking to? Not old fashioned, just…. human.

You sound very scathing about basic good manners. Were you not taught to be polite and say thank you yourself?

Gosh, no one taught you manners, that's for sure.