DS 25 still lives at home

[BeOpenTiger]

My DS is turning 25 next week, he still lives at home with me and DH and has lived here full time since graduating from uni when he was 21.

If you have DC around the same age can I ask whether they still live with you?

My DD’s eldest , 30 left home 2 years ago . His sister 28 is still there. My son’s eldest two 26 and 24 different still at home.

Yep.
Dd1 (24) back home from uni. Working and on 27k a year. Saving a lot (1k) each month for a deposit but the bank want her to have about 50k for a deposit so she will be home for another couple of years yet before she will have saved that up.

My nephews, 26 and 24, still live at home. At 24 I had not lived at home for 4 years and had bought a flat with a 100% mortgage. When I was young, kids in the UK were made to feel a bit unwelcome really if they stayed beyond about 21. As though they had somehow failed to launch, or were not 'independent'. It's different now. We enjoy our kids more for a start, and treat them with more respect as they grow up too.

What is wrong with a group/family of adults living together happily?

Mine are only 19 & 18 years old but I suspect they'll be at home for quite some time. We are South East and on the border of London so house prices/rent is astronomical. It will be so more difficult for them to fly the nest than it was for mine and previous generations.

My eldest DD is 24 and moved out for work and to live with her boyfriend when she was 21 and my youngest DD, 18. is currently at uni. I wouldn't mind either of mine still living with us as long as they were working and earning and saving towards making that move to live independently, whenever that may be.

I think its really hard these days for YP to be able to make that move. Many want to buy and not waste money on rent so stay at home in order to save but it just seems to mean them staying in the family home longer.

is there any particular reason you ask?

One of mine went to uni at 18 and stayed up there when she graduated.
The other moved out recently, aged 23, to rent with her boyfriend.

This is quite unusual though (SE/London). Most of their friends are still at home.

My 24yr old has come back home after being at uni. I think he'd like to move out and live with his girlfriend but we're south-east and not a chance of affording anything anytime soon. I like having him here (even though he does eat me out of house and home!)

My almost 22 year old DS lives at home.

We love it though, he's so helpful and easy going.

Might need to get a dog if he ever moves out 😬😂

Yep, it depends a lot on where you live. I'm in London with adult DC at home, most of their friends also live at home. The only ones who don't tend to be those who have partnered up and got a place together.

Dd is 27. Lived away for four years whilst at uni but back now. It's just me and her. She can stay as long as she likes.

Eldest 30, went to Uni then worked elsewhere for a year but moved home during lockdown then got his own place, daughter lived here with partner until moved out at 25 when bought own place, youngest still here at 22 post-Uni. No way would I ever Chuck any of them out and they'll always be room for them if they ever need to return

Yep and drives me nuts!!
She came home after graduating and currently earning £27000 in a job she fell into completely unrelated to her degree.
Constantly telling me her career plans while going away multiple times a year paying minimal rent.

It's a real bone of contention between DH and I.

I think she should pay more (currently pays £190/month with DH paying her £60 phone contact!)
When I suggest she ups it to £200 she freaks out saying she doesn't have any spare money!!!

We don't need the rent from her but she isn't saving anything that we can see. She's basically living in an all inclusive hotel 😡

I love the bones of her but wish she would just leave.

We've another one at uni. Thought by now we'd be able to start thinking about ourselves.

On the other hand I suppose it's quite nice she still wants to be with us.

Drives me nuts though

My eldest went to uni at 18 and I fully expected her to come home after but she didn't. She got her own place and a job. She's 26 now. My youngest is 13 so he won't be leaving for a long time (hopefully one day so that he is independent but he's ND) and he can stay at home for as long as he likes. My daughter also knows she always has a home with me.

That is a very low rent. If you don't need the money then ask her to pay more and put it aside as savings for her so that she can get a deposit together at some point. I think £100 a week would be more than reasonable.

Yes, my youngest is in the process of buying a property and he is 32! My eldest moved out when he was 31.

Our DD moved home briefly after uni and stayed for lockdown but soon moved out to a rental and has now bought a house with her partner at 25.
She grew up so much at uni and I think it would have been too much of a backwards step to stay home.

My DB lives in his partner’s parents house aged 30 with their two DDs aged 2 and 6 months 🙄

And my DSis lives between my parents and my house aged 31 🫣

Have you contacted a mortgage broker, they'll find her better options than that I'm sure.

26 year old has bought her first house. 25 and 22 year olds live in rented accommodation. 20 year old at uni.

My DSS, 24, is still at home, works three days a week, the rest of the time is spent in his bedroom gaming/gambling, so not saving up for his future.

He pays £200 a month, which he complains about, does nothing to help in the house.

I've had so many arguments with my DH about him getting a life, especially for when we want to downsize, he has words with him then never follows anything through.

I've given up ...

I have friends who are mid 30s and still living at home. They can’t afford to buy on their own so what choice do they have?

My daughter is a teenager and can stay with me as long as she needs to.

South East here so most people I know between 18 up to 40 if they are single.
25? That's pretty standard to live at home unless you are in a couple or a particularly low cost area.

DS25 left home at 19, hasn't come back.

DS24 left home at 18, also hasn't come back.

Both my DC left - and both have come back. Simply untenable, financially, for them to live anywhere else.