DS 25 still lives at home

[BeOpenTiger]

My DS is turning 25 next week, he still lives at home with me and DH and has lived here full time since graduating from uni when he was 21.

If you have DC around the same age can I ask whether they still live with you?

Also London. DS moved out at 27 to share with his girlfriend. DD was home for 3 years after uni then moved out when a flat share came up with a colleague. Neither of them could have moved out when they did without sharing the rent with someone.

Living at home at 25 these days is quite the norm. I live in Bristol and the only alternative for that age group (and even 40 year olds) would be a room in a shared house. Even then, the rent is about £900 a month without bills and the other room mates are very picky and only want professionals. On top of that, there is a radical shortage of any accommodation at all. We have lots of young people living in vans here.

I went to the local university to do a HND then went to a different uni to convert that to a BA. Left home aged 21. Then I moved back with my parents aged 26 after splitting up with ex - who I met during the year of converting HND to BA.

Left home again 2.5 years later aged 29 to my property which I still living at and no intention of moving.

Yes, mine are still here, and I’m happy for them to be here. They are cleaner than DH.

Mine - out of five, three went off to uni and never came back home. All moved back to my area but rented and are now buying and one moved to Australia, one came home and stayed briefly but then moved out (they are 34, 32, 30 and 28) and the eldest didn't go to uni but moved out, moved around a lot but now has a house attached to job. But we live in North Yorkshire where the rent (outside of York, where one of them is buying a house) is not too dreadful, so they could.

Mine both went to university and came back home and are still here aged 29 and 25. 29 year old has autism. 25 year old very bleak about prospects of moving out.

I was prepared for empty nest when youngest was at university but if they moved out now I'd be shocked at the change. Delighted for them though

Yep. Average first time buyer is 34 in the UK. So our adult children are living at home and saving up for a deposit. They can’t afford to rent and I don’t want them too. It’s throwing money away.

I didn't move out until 29 when I purchased my house with my boyfriend of 7 years at the time. Paid £150 month to parents (they wouldn't take more) but they knew i was saving every spare penny. Managed to save 120k in that time.

She should be saving at least. Otherwise up the rent for sure.

DS aged 30 is at home - having been to two universities in UK and US. He has no intention of having a partner in his life, and on one wage I really can't see him leaving for the foreseeable future. He was contemplating renting a room in a shared house but at £1K per month, I told him to reflect on whether it was a sensible idea. He would have very little left after £90 fares per week, tax, NI, pension and student loan, gym, phone, etc. Best to save that £1K per month towards a deposit. He hasn't mentioned it since....

Mine left home at 29 had no choice but to stay and save after uni her BF stayed a year too.

Mixed generational households are VERY normal the world over. It's more normal than not in much of the world.

If people are lucky enough to have a big enough house and enough maturity to all live as independent adults then it is brilliant. Always someone home to look after the pets, take in deliveries, baby sit etc

Yes, I have DDs of 27 and 25. Both live at home. It’s completely normal for their peers too - we live in London. They did both live away when at university and one worked abroad for a long time, but both now live at home.

My DD returned home at 25 earlier this year. She's saving to buy a flat and had enough of being mucked around by awful landlords (and they were genuinely terrible). I expect her to be here another year at least. It's the norm for where we live, London.

South East 30ish miles from London, Eldest also 25 lives at home. Could afford to live out, has house deposit for elsewhere in country but needs better paid job to actually get a mortgage /save big enough deposit for round here.

Mine are still teens but I'd say in London and SE certainly there's nothing unusual about 20 somethings living with parents and not even people in their 30s really. I'm certainly prepared for kids to be with us while they establish their careers rather than chucking money at rent if that's what they want to do.

I’m in the SE, London commuter belt. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a 20 something at home unless they have so much spare cash they can effectively buy their kids’ independence. It’s a fact of life.

How you navigate it is the main issue - very important to have clear ground rules and expectations, just as you would in a house share. You’ve got to treat them like a housemate rather than a child

Mines 25 and still here. For reasons I can’t say his moving out plan with his GF is on hold for now. So he’s just saving as much as he can and I’m enjoying his company while it lasts . (Although he’s mostly out living his best life 😊)

DS24 graduated last year - did a 5 year engineering degree. He moved out a few months ago - he and GF have bought a house in a safe but more affordable area. It would have been fine if he’d stayed longer and he had initially said 2 years, but a great property came up and they went for it after only one year at home after uni.

I have a few friends who have just moved out.

One was 34 - saved to buy a house by herself and just couldn't get on the marker until then but did pay her mum good rent.
One was 31 - saved with gf to buy a house
one was 35 - had been poorly but recovered and finally got a half decent job enough to afford to move out - luckily his parents paid his house deposit.

more and more people I know are staying home longer.

He did pay some board but we were able to give it him back towards some home renovations that needed doing. GF’s parents did the same.

While here, his behaviour was great. He always asked if it was ok if GF came round etc and usually cooked one meal a week. If he hadn’t been respectful, he would have been given his marching orders.

Mine are both early to mid 20s and both live in London with partners. Neither of them are in particularly highly paid jobs but sharing with a partner makes a one-bed flat just about affordable.

At their ages I was married with a mortgage on a good 3-bed flat in a nice area of London, which is beyond the wildest dreams of their generation.

My 21 yr old is back here after graduating. He spends time at his gf’s but I suspect he’ll be living with me for a few more years yet which suits me fine as I’d be on my own otherwise. Younger one is living away at Uni.

I'm 26 still living at home. Was made redundant about 4 months ago. I've been trying really hard to look for work but it's been difficult. I've had my CV reviewed multiple times, see an employment support officer weekly, attend job search appointments at the job centre and still nothing.

When I was working I was paying my mom £500 a month on £24000. I feel like I'm never going to get out of my moms house.

My sisters 25 in January & still lives at home. Apparently her anxiety won’t let her move out 🤨 she’s fine going out till all hours on a Saturday night though. Funny how anxiety doesn’t affect her then…

Interesting thread. We have to decide whether to stay in our small 3 bed where we could hopefully eventually pay off the mortgage and retire early, or move to a bigger place for double the cost. Ds in particular has an extremely small room. Should we move because they'll need to stay at home?! Or stay to encourage them to move out?! 😆