To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

[tiredsince2020]

And I feel really horrible but is it just me who dreads having to go to nursery to get their child?

I have always had this and around this time of day have the horrible pull of guilt that he’s almost certainly had enough and will want to come home and the knowledge that I’ll have three to four hours of him

Agree with others, you deffo need to read the room. Not everyone ‘heard about their day’ from an <5 year old and not everyone’s experience is the same. I’m happy for you that this was your experience but that’s not how it happens for other people. And that’s ok.

Which is why I apologized.

I do sympathise, I worked full time and couldn't get my son from nursery until 5.30 pm. He was always tired and bad tempered and I asked the nursery girls if there was anything I could do to make him happier when I got home. They suggested I set up his favourite farm toy, it was a form of lego.

I'd set the farm up the night before and hidden it, I always had to go home at lunch time to walk our collie so I got it out then.

We walked in at 6 pm that night and my son rushed at it and smashed it all off the table. He was just too tired and wanted his tea and bath.

@RosemaryFocaccia
@Oodiks has apologised already. Everyone makes mistakes and that's ok.

No. Couldn' t wait to get my child. That's why I had children. So jacked my job in and went self employed so I could actually spend time with them probably instead of handing them over to nursery for 10 hours a day.

Children should come first. Children are rdesigned to be with their mums, not a bunch of people in a nursery! my very bright first born tells me all sorts now about nursery and how much she bloody hated it (and it was in my opinion an incredible nursery) It's adults who kid themselves that the kids love going. they don't , it's like forcing them to a job when they should be at home making memories.

I get it. Arsenic hour. That period before tea.

You don't "make memories", @nosmartphone . They happen when the brain processes information, it's not conscious. They can be good or bad.
Some people have no choice but to use paid childcare. That's life.

Makes you wonder why some people have kids.

Thank you for your input. I'm sure your comment makes OP feel much better... not. You made me think of my aunt who always finds the right thing to say when somebody is sad/feeling down. When my cousin's gf broke up with him; "Such a shame, don't know if you'll ever find a girl like this again" . We laugh about all her comments now because she wasn't trying to hurt anyone, just completely lacked empathy and filter. Maybe that's your case as well?

It was known as the witching hour here too, and I used to dread it, especially in the winter and it’s dark and wet and they can’t even go in the garden. It was like living with the Duracell bunny on steroids.
Sunday afternoon was another tough one, as lots of people do own family stuff and there were fewer opportunities to dilute the full-on-ness of it!
it does ( slowly) get better as they mature, but you aren’t a bad mum for feeling the way you do. People with placid homebody kids just don’t get it - my eldest is 9 now and it’s still hard work getting her to watch a film or anything longer than about 45 mins, but at least she’s stopped bouncing off the walls…..😂

Sorry, didn't see this 😳

Sorry you're struggling. I definitely had a phase where I felt my child was extremely hard work and I was not looking forward to the evenings/ nursery pick ups. It can be very challenging! It sounds like you have a child that's full of energy (mine is very much like that too) and likes pushing the boundaries. Don't feel guilty about not enjoying your son, but try to seek help. No one can do it alone, if you don't have a supportive partner that's probably the number one thing to address. Get dad to step up, maybe he could do more pick ups if possible. Schedule some downtime for yourself. Do you have any evenings/ afternoons just to yourself with no kids? Appreciate if you have a young baby it might be difficult to achieve, but maybe dad can do bedtime with both, while you go out for a walk/ gym/ coffee etc. You might find you will have more patience if you have regular breaks in the week. Not sure how old your little one is, but if he's 3/4, I'd be quite strict with consequences when he's misbehaving. My little one loves being naughty to get a reaction, but I'm trying to teach him that certain behaviours are off limits (i.e intentionally spilling drinks, hitting etc.)

@nosmartphone Why hasn’t your husband “jacked in” his job? It’s okay for him not to make his kids a priority?

@Mamadrinkscoffee - in all honesty, she can't get the dad to step up. It's a significant problem for her. She started another thread about it, their relationship isn't great.

Quite.

Could you lack any more empathy?

Wow.

Sometimes people desperately want and plan their pregnancies and things are different than they expected due to SEN, disabilities (physical and mental), post partum, relationship or work breakdowns etc etc.

Comments like this are why mothers are terrified to ask for advice and help.

If we all judged a bit less then I guarantee it would help prevent so many of the mental health problems that mothers face alone. A lot of women won't tell anyone they are struggling until it is too late.

You are blessed and privileged to not only be able to make the choices you did, but to enjoy motherhood so much. I am genuinely pleased for you. Not everyone can be self employed and criticising women who put their children in nursery is not okay.

Women being expected to "put their children first" by stopping work or going into low paid casual work/unstable work are often left in financially abusive situations or on the breadline.

This is why men advance in their careers and employers penalise women. Your views are the kind that contribute to mum guilt and misogynistic attitudes towards women who NEED to work.

Clearly your lack of struggle and privilege of choice has left you with an inability to show fellow women compassion and an inability to see how those views affect women in a broader sense.

I’m a primary teacher and the younger children come in after lunch, straight away they’re asking when it’s home time!
They are DONE.

They’d have all sat on my knee all afternoon, if they could!
Tears, arguments, huffs. The works.

Good for you. I'm a sahm so mine were with me until starting school but I'm not getting on my high horses telling OP how she is supposed to feel or live her life. I had a DH who worked for all of us. If I'd been a single parent as OP working and then picking up toddlers after nursery I might have been exhausted and felt exactly as she is. She's here because she needs support. She already feels guilty about her feeling the way she does (which she shouldn't because she's just overwhelmed and tired) so how is your comment helpful?

Apologies straight back for not seeing. Should’ve read the comments better x

Your medal is in the post, hun.

Brilliant ! I had to quote you so anyone who missed it gets to read ut.

Yes she has apologised.

Well, two hours later, DS definitely has ADHD and I should not have had kids, we need a trampoline and something is seriously amiss at CBeebies. I do have to love the randomness of MN!

ADHD? You simply don't understand that every child can be different.

He goes through phases with the TV to be honest. Sometimes he’ll really enjoy it and watch it quite a lot. Other times he just doesn’t. This is one of those times. He does seem exceptionally wired at the moment, I think Halloween has over stimulated him.