To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

[tiredsince2020]

And I feel really horrible but is it just me who dreads having to go to nursery to get their child?

I have always had this and around this time of day have the horrible pull of guilt that he’s almost certainly had enough and will want to come home and the knowledge that I’ll have three to four hours of him

@MerlotMisery My child doesn't like CBeebies. It's a strange generalisation to assume all children would like it.

That’s not the point! It can be any programme. To be honest you don’t sound very maternal towards him

Are you me 8 years ago? I have a DS and a DD 3 years apart. I absolutely dreaded pick up time. He is an absolute work!! It stayed that way for many years and he is in secondary now.

I think mine must have adhd of some sort but is very bright too. He never switches off and does stuff he's not supposed to do.

He had a tough 7 years at primary, extremely bored and not much to do. Now at secondary he is in every club he can physically go to (lunch times and after school). Lots of rugby too. He gets home tired, goes to bed much earlier than he used to a year ago.

I know it's still a long way away for you OP, but I feel for you. Keep going and don't beat yourself up too much. Sending hugs.

I think that it would be better for your child and for you if you took a bit of time for yourself and had a break and picked him up a bit later so that you will hopefully feel a bit better. It would be more beneficial to him to have a shorter but more quality time with you. I'm sure he can sense your feelings/mood and if you aren't engaged with him, if a break means that you are better able to connect with him that will be good for the both of you.

I've only just understood you collect hours early.

Why would you do that? You are paying for the service and part of that is to allow you to do the things you need to do. Including relaxing.

They are much better off having structured activity and learning there than watching tv at home.

Then you are free to spend quality time where you are relaxed. It's win win.

I think its the drudergy of the tea , bath , book , play whilst they're whiney. I've always hated the hours between 3 and 6.
I even do on weekend's too

You need help, but you haven't got the support network or the extra cash. It's a miserable way to live, because you obviously want to be a good parent, but you're on your own with all the stress and mess. I wish there was a solution.
My husband was taken critically ill when mine were pre school. It was a nightmare. I just existed. That was a long time ago now, and we got through it, but it's tough.

Oh, and I used to pick him up from nursery at the latest possible time (7pm)!

How do they find him at nursery op? It may all be going well and picking him up early is just giving you both a hard couple of hours.

Collect at the time meant to or 5mins before. Not 2hrs before

Why torture yourself

Do you have a trampoline at home ? Godsend in all weathers

Boys are like dogs - need lots of exercise

I simply don't agree. CBeebies has a broad range and variety of programming. It's extremely rare to find a young child who doesn't like any of it. What about Hey Duggee?

Children ARE hard work and some more than others.. My first was like yours, so much energy! My advice to you would be go to the playground/park and let him run around for an hour. Sometimes you find nice mums to chat with as well. Then home having a long bath before telly/dinner. They got so much energy and really need to run it off...

It's sad that little kids need to regulate. Something wrong, somewhere.

I used to find that part of the day a real slog (single parent) me having been to work and child having been to nursery/school. It sometimes felt like climbing a metaphorical mountain range, what with hopefully catching up with their day, getting tea cooked, served and cleared up and then do all the bed time routine and preparation for the next day. I did find that the bath and bedtime story was the best bit, things calmed down and it felt like special time.

I’d be starting to question things like adhd if there was really nothing in the varied programme that that would hold their attention.

It's been a while, but I always loved picking my little one up from nursery and hearing all about her day!

Well … yes. Lots of us did but I’m not sure you’ve quite read the room 😬

Do you think your contribution to the discussion is helpful to OP?

Clearly the wrong place to reminisce. Sorry.

Why is that sad? Everyone needs to regulate, little kids obviously more so as they are new to learning how to channel and control their emotions.
Why would that suggest anything is wrong?

That's right.
Why sad?
It's bloody normal, and as soon as possible.
No harm there.

Young children have always got over excited, or bored or tired or hungry or frustrated.
They learn, with the guidance of those around them, to clam down, find something to do, sleep, eat etc.

Hi!

Haven’t read the comments but just wanted to say that this was me for a period of time. I actually turned up to pick my child up one day and started crying because of how I knew things would go when I got home. I was very lucky to have great and supportive nursery and they took me to one side and we had a chat and I then had a meeting the next day to talk some things through.
I don’t remember (this was 6 years ago) making any significant changes in routine.
For me, I think having an open conversation with the nursery and feeling like they really listened to me and appreciated that it was difficult helped me with my mindset. They could see the behaviours I was struggling with and supported me.

I don’t want to try to impart any wisdom or perfect parenting techniques (I mean, are there any?!?) just to say that I hear you and I’ve been there. Talking helps. Keep talking.

Sending supportive thoughts x

My DS is 3, about to be 4, and tonight I've had to tell him to many many many many times to sit down and face his food, hold his taco over his plate, don't jump in the kitchen, stop with the feet (kicking them about, digging them into things) and no more mouth noises please. He's not a climber but he will just roll all over the furniture.

He's also super clever, very kind and gentle though full on. He is my world but when he's alsleep, we breathe a sigh of relief.

I don't get him till 5 and our fee covers 8-6 so if he needs to be there longer because I'm working, then he is. He's only ever been the last kid twice and I've felt bad then.

As for cartoons, he will get a choice of two (eg Peppa or Bluey) and often one of those will be a 90s cartoon. They are calmer. We are working through:

Rupert, Arthur, Blues Clues, Sesame Street, Magic School Bus, Little Bear, Daniel Tiger, Mr Rogers etc

Anything that makes bad behaviour we have stopped (eg Blippi made him feral and walk silly constantly)

We read a lot of books and he can read them too. This does lead to a lot of questions and interruptions. We are trying to say no questions until the page is done at least.

I don't let him the tablet except for a few educational apps Duolingo ABC is really good. And he does one that names bones in the body. No tablet after a certain time. Considering a Tonee box for next birthday.

Maybe some of those will be helpful if you haven't tried. That said, my sweet clever boy is still wild, tests my patience and drives me mad every day. Three is hard.

Mine are slightly older now (youngest is 6) but I still find that 4-7pm a real slog. They are tired, hungry and generally irritable as am I, it was 100 x worse when they were toddlers.

Mine weren't big tv watchers when they were pre-school age but if they were being hyper I'd put some cosmic yoga on YouTube and they would love copying that or the just dance videos on YouTube which they could dance along to. It would generally give me 20mins to get dinner on.