Being the only one buying

[Everydayimwingingit]

I just need to rant as I can't help but feeling so angry.
Me and my fiancé have 3 kids together and I absolutely hate this time of year as its always me who pays for everything all year round the food, the utilities, the mortgage, cheap holidays and days out. I earn alot less than him so I've to be careful with money but also try to save up for Christmas as I'm the one who buys all the presents for the kids aswell as mine and his family, October is nearly as bad as my eldest has her birthday and has had a party again which I paid for but I don't mind as it made her happy, I feel like at times I can't buy them decent presents as I'm watching the savings so they end up with quite a few cheap things that end up broke or don't get played with.
We've recently had a baby and it's been so difficult not buying him the clothes that I love as I just can't justify the cost but the main reason for the rant is I've just bought a second hand playmat and got my fiancé to collect it on his way home from work and as soon as he came home he made sure he took the money for it out my purse.

I suffer really badly with mental health since having my ds so I find confrontation extremely difficult but I can just feel the anger building up inside.

Aibu to expect him to atleast help towards some of the bills or even spend time with the kids so I can have a bath in peace

@Everydayimwingingit so you're paying for everything and you're scared of him/his reaction should you object. This is abuse. I hope that you take note of the sensible Pps on here and can manage to take steps to leave.

I doubt OP is still reading the thread.

I'm the one who buys all the presents for the kids aswell as mine and his family,

Well stop then

unfortunately it would have a huge effect on me as its all in my name apart from the mortgage,

So your name is not on the mortgage?

at times I think I am scared of how he would react if I made comments about it all

theres your main problem then

So what's he doing with his money? You need to sort this out ASAP I'm a man and agree if both work then it's 50/50 unless one or the other earns more then should contribute more so both have no money stress. I cannot imagine watching a partner struggle if living together so deal with this now as it cannot continue.

Why enable him?

What you're saying here, is- You're financially stable without his money. You don't actually need him. Without him you would get UC to top up your pay and would have a lot more money to use and spare without him. No mortgage to pay, no 2nd adult to feed, rent paid for you, discount on bills for being a single parent. What are you waiting for?

Leave him. Kick him out of your house then contact the csa . You'll be no worse off.

This is ludicrous ! You would be far better off if you left him and he had to pay child maintenance! At least you’d get something.

He is absolutely taking the piss and financially abusing you! Unfortunately the only way forward is to sit him down and have a frank discussion about this and at the very least, get him to agree to set up a joint account to which you both pay money each month? If he doesn’t agree to this I think you should consider your future with him. XX

Sorry OP, I needed to post again because as I’m reading through all the comments on your original post I’m just becoming more upset on your behalf. There are so many times on MN when I wish that the original OP would show the person the responses. And this is one of them. I would so love you to show your fiance, although I know he would dismiss it all out of hand and probably end up getting you into a lot of trouble with him but sometimes I think some people need to see the perspective from other people. Can I ask if your name is on the deeds of the property? It sounds not which means you are in an extremely vulnerable position as you’re paying for everything for no gain whatsoever . You need to get some legal advice urgently X